Title: I Blame This Entirely on Sam
I blame this entirely on Sam.
And Josh, but mostly on Sam.
It all started out with a dream. Not the Martin Luther King, Jr. "I have a dream" kind, but the waking up in the middle of the night kind. At least that's what he said happened.
Josh doesn't often remember his dreams, at least not his good ones. Nightmares, he remembers vividly. But remembering good dreams is rare for him.
So, Josh remembered a dream. If he hadn't, I wouldn't be sitting here, telling this story over and over again in my mind.
My father was in his dream, and that wasn't the scary part. My father was taking Josh to jail. Why? He wasn't sure. He just knew that my father was driving him to some prison somewhere, when they stopped to see me.
I was very upset with the fact that Josh was going to jail (duh) and, according to Josh, didn't want to let him go. Apparently I was teary and told him that he couldn't go, so Josh, being a man, said it was only going to be a few months and not a big deal. I said it was. That was when I told him I was pregnant.
Mind you, it was only a dream. I am not pregnant. Well, I am 99.9% sure that I am not pregnant. That .1% is pretty damn important, however... Damn him. If it weren't for Sam I wouldn't even be thinking this. That's why I dumped him.
I am not pregnant. I swear.
I actually found the dream rather amusing, especially the part about my father taking my boyfriend to jail. To top it off, I had had some weird dreams myself that night.. One of which involved Sam saving my life... Maybe it was a sign.
I'm seriously considering celibacy.
Anyway... When Josh told me this dream, I said to him, Babe, I gotta tell Sam, cause he'll freak out. Okay, so maybe my grammar wasn't quite that bad, but I like to think I speak the lingo of the kids these days.
Maybe I should explain about Sam. Sam is... my best friend (after Josh), my White House confidant, my big brother, the person I turn to every time Josh is.. well, Josh. He's the kind of guy young women faun over, but doesn't let it get to his head, not too much, anyway. He also gives decent advice. And tells the truth. That's very important in a friendship.
Again, I digress, but as you can see, I depend on him and it's going to be very difficult to give him up, but that doesn't mean he's not dumped.
I saw Ainsley before I saw Sam, and decided to share with her Josh's dream. She also found it funny, and agreed Sam would get a kick out of it. I love Ainsley. She's hysterical and adorable, for a Republican. Get Sam and her together though, watch out. The two are a lethal pair. One of these days I'm going to make a documentary - Sam and Ainsley: The Making of a Comedy... or Sam and Ainsley: The Republican Who Killed the Democrat (I'm convinced that's how it's going to happen). Anyway, they always make me laugh.
So, Ainsley had gone back to work for a while, and I did the same. I did some filing and computer work, concentrating on some research for Josh. Then Ainsley came back.
I was in a pretty good mood, so I decided to give Ainsley a back massage. She was enjoying it profusely when Sam came to my desk and started talking to us. Ainsley, of course, reminded me to tell Sam about my dream.
"Josh had a dream where I told him I was pregnant."
The next few minutes are a blur. All I remember is Sam saying something... Something loud enough for just about everyone in the West Wing to hear... Okay, at least everyone within a five foot radius. Which included CJ. And CJ... I think she screamed.. or said something... Somewhere in there I think I heard, "sleeping with" "Josh" and "are you." Actually, it was probably closer to "ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH JOSH???"
Not in a shocked Catholic mother way, not in a state of disbelief, entirely in a CJ the Press Secretary way.
I think I stopped breathing. Maybe I blacked out and that's why the two minutes are a total loss. All I remember is that the top of Ainsley's head suddenly became the most interesting thing I had ever seen. In my entire life.
I remember feeling hot. I'm certain I was blushing, and I couldn't look at Sam. CJ's the White House Press Secretary for Pete's sake. Why do we say that? Pete's sake? Who is Pete, anyway? Probably some biblical reference... I really need to get out more.
Okay, so I was ranting... I had enough problems when my own mother asked me if Josh and I were sleeping together. Crisis barely averted there. Now the Press Secretary was out for blood.
The funny thing is I had considered telling CJ, about me and Josh, but I just couldn't do it. She's a friend of mine, and a Josh's best friend, but she could barely handle Josh and I dating. She puts up with it because she knows how much Josh and I care for each other and has been able to handle the press so far.. But I thought this would be too much.
So I never told her.
And now she knows. At least I think she knows. Considering my reaction... She could have made a pretty reasonable guess.
So, somewhere after I recovered enough to speak, I told Sam he was dumped as my White House brother.
That's when Ainsley told me I'd never be able to do that. I could never give up Sam. I love Sam.
And she's right.
But that doesn't mean I won't be torturing him for the next five years.