Title: Giant Waffles & Tree Sloths
Author: Bramble
Rating: PG
Summary: The way to a woman's heart is through her
Category: J/D
Spoliers: Small reference to Galileo.
Notes: First in the Edibles Series.


Midnight can really blow.

I mean, if it's a Wednesday night and you're awake but
conscious and fully aware of the time and you're still
at work and your feet are killing you, it certainly

It blows hard.

I'm sitting on the floor by my desk writing index
cards on the history of the Endangered Species Act and
how species are placed on it. That's important, it
really is, it's even interesting -- the Endangered
Species Act is a good, good thing. But it's 12:10 in
the damn morning and I have been here since 6:30.

I mean, normally, that wouldn't be a big deal but this
is the third day in a row I've had these work hours
and on top of that I am completely PMS-y.

There's a bill up for a vote soon that would change
the way endangered species get put on the list, a bill
that would pretty much gut the ESA -- that would be a
bad, bad thing.

We don't want that to happen -- thus the late-night

Normally, I would suck it up for the Southwestern
Willow Flycatcher and happily do my part to help save
him and all of his endangered little friends but today
has been so unbelievably long.

Josh has been even more impossible than usual --
pissing off not one but two journalists and a senator
for good measure. Add to that, the fact that the mess
ran out of pasta primavera before I got down there for
lunch at 2:30 -- I had to eat a tuna sandwich instead
-- and you'll understand my mood a bit better.

Oh yeah, all of the damn chocolate frozen yogurt was
gone too.

I groan under my breath as I open my desk drawer and
start munching on my secret stash of Hershey's kisses.




"What?" I say a little louder.


"Whaaaaaaaaatttt?" I yell back. I hate yelling.

"There you are." Josh says from his office door,
making eye contact with me by walking around the side
of my desk so we can see each other unobstructed. He's
got his tie all loosened and he looks sexy and rumpled
in the way that he usually does late at night. I mean,
I can see how one might think he looks sexy; I don't
though, I am impervious to his charms.

"Yes, here I am, making notecards, researching, hating
you," I answer, looking back down at the cards in my

"Hating me?"



"I'm tired, I want to go home."

"Are you done?"


"Sorry, we need....."

"I want to go home and go to bed, maybe take a hot
bath first and listen to the new Kristin Hersh CD, do
anything that does not involve index cards. I'm

"I thought you were impervious."

"I am imperviously exhausted."

"That makes hardly any sense at all."

"Bite me."

"Donna!" He says in a shocked tone; I can't tell if
he's being serious or not.


"Do you think it's appropriate to tell your boss to
bite you."

"It is if my boss is you," I snicker.

"Does Mrs. Landingham tell the President to bite her?"

"She might...you know, actually, I could maybe see

He pauses and adds, "Yeah, I think I could too," with
a little dimple-showing grin.

Jerk. Like I'm going to melt just because the dimples
make an appearance.

"Did you have dinner?"

I throw a kiss at him.

"This was dinner?" He asks, catching it in his hands.

"Well, no, not that one."

"Donna, you should eat."

"Did you eat?"

"Yeah, Sam and I got something during that meeting on
the hill."

I stare a him in disbelief. "You didn't bring me back

"It was a dinner meeting with four Republican
congressmen. What am I going to do, order something to
go to bring back for my assistant?"

"Yes." I answer back incredulously.

"Okay, I didn't know that."

I roll my eyes as I grab another kiss and mutter "that
doesn't surprise me.." under my breath.

"Besides, they would have made fun of me. It's hard to
bitch slap old, white, Republican men and then turn
around and order a caesar chicken salad or something
to bring back for the 'little woman' at the office."

I decide to ignore the 'little woman' comment for now.

"Oh, that's a good reason. Bringing me dinner would
have undermined your masculinity and made you look
whipped in front of people you don't even like?"

"No, I actually didn't even think of it then; I'm just
saying that now in retrospect." He stops talking when
he realizes the glare I am giving him.

"Do you want something now?" He walks a little closer
to me.

"You're offering to go out and get me food?" I snort.

"Would that be that hard to believe?"



"Because, if you got me food, it would denote a sort
of, oh, I don't know, recognition of someone else's
needs on your part."

"I recognize other people's needs."

I make a another grunting noise as I pop another kiss
in my mouth.

"I might go out to get you food, maybe even take you
out to get some dinner."

"Josh, it's midnight, nothing is open."

"Well, there's that 24 hour diner on Massachusetts.."

"Porky's Pancake House?"


"You'd take me to Porky's Pancake House?"

"Well, it's midnight, what do you want?"

"To not get food poisoning.."

"I doubt you'd get food poisoning, besides, the
waffles there are good."


"Okay, the drive thru at Wendy's is still open."

"You'd go get me something from there?" I ask

"Maybe.." He starts. Maybe? Jerk.

"What? I thought you were suddenly all about my needs?
Now you're going to make me barter for it?"

He considers this. I can actually see the invisible
wheels spinning away in his head. Scary.

"Well, what would you give me if I went out and got
you food?"

"What would you like?" I shoot back, knowing this is
probably a bad idea when I am this tired and hungry.

He moves closer to me and his crotch is in now in my
eye line.

"Josh, I'm not doing any late-night stamp collecting
for a crappy fast food burger. Now, if you threw in a
frosty..." I joke suggestively, trying hard not to

Hey, I get a little punchy after working for nearly
eighteen hours straight with only a lousy tuna
sandwich and twenty cups of coffee for sustenance.

"Donna! I was just, I mean, I wasn't.. " He jumps back
so fast he almost falls over.

"Fellatio is fun, Josh, oh wait, I meant philately..."
I crack myself up sometimes.

"Umm, okay, we need to get you some food."

"Ya think?"

"I'll be back in a few minutes."

"I'll be here, baby.."


About twenty minutes later I hear footsteps

"I don't smell Wendy's.." I don't even look up.

"That's comforting, I didn't go to Wendy's.


"I went to Emile's."

"Emile's?" I try to recollect that name, "wait, is
that the little fancy coffeehouse in Georgetown? With
the pastries and stuff?"

He's standing by me with a huge take-out bag and a
matching grin. It's a very fancy take-out bag which I
am convinced holds many gourmet food items.

"Yeah, it's open late."

"Really?" I jump up excitedly and grab the bag from
him. "What'd you get me?"

I manage to set the offering on my desk before ripping
into it.

"I wasn't sure what you wanted so I got a couple of

I pull out two paper boxes and set them on my desk.

"You got me two things?" I look at them admiringly.
They're wrapped up so nicely -- it's just like

"Well, one's for me, but you can pick first." He steps
up behind me so that he's almost touching my back, I
can practically feel his body heat behind me. It's a
good thing I'm so hungry that I'm just thinking about
the tasty snacks in front of me instead of the
tasty snack behind me.

He reaches around my arm as he points to one box,
"This one is smoked salmon on herb foccacia with
arugula and roma tomatoes, this one is grilled chicken
on sourdough with a pesto mayonnaise and grilled red

"Mmmmm.... they both sound good." I think my eyes are
glazing over.

"You can't have both, I get one."

"Whose needs are you thinking about now?" I ask as I
turn around to face him.

"I'm thinking of your needs Donna, I'm just
accommodating my own as well. It's nice that I can do
both at the same time." He smirks.

We're face-to-face and I swear if I wasn't so hungry I
would be slightly intrigued by the possible sub-text
happening here, but, for now, gluttony is winning out
over lust.

"I see," I move to the side a bit so that we're
standing next to each other now, "why don't we split?"

"Okay. I got some Odwalla too."

"Mango Tango!" I cry out, reaching in the bag and
claiming a smoothie.

"I know, you like mango tango -- see I listen to you."

"Well, you are just all over my needs tonight, aren't
you Josh," I even bat my eyelashes at him for good

He answers by giving me a, well, if I didn't know
better, I would say almost a shy look.

This is interesting.

We set up a little picnic on the floor by my desk and
eat dinner while we discuss baby three-toed tree
sloths and their plight. My culinary joy spreads as I
discover two little, single-serving containers of
haagen-dazs hazelnut gelato at the bottom of the bag.
rip the cover off of mine with a small squeal of glee.

Later, with a happy, full stomach, I am acutely aware
of Josh's proximity and what it's doing to me.

Truth be told, I kind of like working late with him.
Especially when it's just us and we have this casual
vibe that we don't always have during the day.

"I love it when you're not being you.." I say, leaning
back against the desk and looking over at him in time
to see him roll his eyes at me and smile.

"So, philately aside," he starts with a smirk, "what
would you have given me for Wendy's take-out?"

"Why? You didn't go to Wendy's."

"No, I didn't, this is better. So, whatever you were
going to give me, you should give me something better
now, to reflect the upgrade in food."

"Oh really?" I ask, meeting his smug smile with my


"I was going to give you a kiss."

"Another chocolate kiss?" He asks without missing a


He inches closer to me so that our stretched out legs
are touching side-by-side now, as we face each other
in some sort of bizarre flirty stand-off.

"So maybe I should get a Donna-kiss now."

"You think so?" I feel my face light up and I know I'm
not playing this as cool as I should be.

"Mango-tango, Donnatella..." He voice trails off as
his eyes search mine out.

I smile as I lean my face in slowly, he meets me half
way, and our mouths meet tentatively.


His lips are so soft and I think I make a little moan
just as he opens his mouth and nips lightly at my
lower lip with his teeth, before slowly sliding his
tongue gently past my lips. He's all warm and I taste
a delicious mix of fruit smoothie and Josh; this feels
so good that I forget where we are for a minute.

Unfortunately, I don't forget for long enough. I think
we both remember at the same time because, just like
the start of the kiss, we are equal partners in ending

"Hi." I say, suddenly at a loss for words.

"Hi." He's looking at me intently like he wants to say
something else.

"This was good."

"The food? Yeah..." He looks down at the empty
container and starts to collect the garbage into the
take-out bag.

"The food was good *too*, Josh.."

"Why don't you go home? You can finish this up
tomorrow." He says ignoring my meaning, while
concentrating very hard on picking up all of the
little Hershey's kisses wrappers from the floor around

"Are you leaving now?" I ask.

Josh is up now and back in the doorway of his office,
like nothing even happened. This really doesn't
surprise me because I can tell he doesn't quite know
how to process we just did.

Honestly, neither do I.

"No, I'm going to be about another hour, then I'm

"Okay, you shouldn't stay late; you should leave by
2:00. No later." I shake my finger at him to stress my

"Yes, mom."

"You really want to call me that now?" I ask with a

"No... I'll leave by 2:00. Donna," he answers back,
running his hand along the doorframe.

I really wish I was the doorframe right now.

"Okay, I'll just get going then."

"Are you okay getting home?"


"Will you call me?"

"Tomorrow morning?" I ask, as I grab my bag and start
to walk away from my desk.

"No, um.. when you get home. Just so I know you made
it okay," he pauses and adds quickly, "you live in a
crappy neighborhood, Donna."

I bite back a comment about not being paid enough to
live somewhere better and answer, "Sure, I'll call

As I walk past him he reaches out and grabs my hand,
bringing me to a stop beside him. I look into his face
and see a softness there I know he rarely reveals.

"Thanks for staying tonight," he says quietly.

I give his hand a squeeze as I pass by, "Thanks for
dinner, Joshua."

Our fingers slide against each other as I walk away
until we're no longer touching.

Well, this is very interesting indeed.




"I'm home," I say into the phone as I start to
unbutton my blouse and kick my shoes off.

"Good. You going to sleep now?"

"Well, it is almost 1:30.."

"You should go to sleep."

"You should too. Go home, Josh." Oh thank god, no more
panty hose, I think I sigh after I slide them off.

"Yeah..I know, what are you doing?"

"Excuse me?"

"You made a noise."

"Oh, I'm getting ready for bed."


"Yes.." Oh hell, I'm talking to Josh in my underwear.

"Okay." His voice sounds funny.

"You're not going to ask me what I'm wearing, are
you?" I stifle a small sleep-deprived giggle -- I
thought it, I might as well say
it out loud.

"Would you tell me?"

"Maybe.." I tease evilly.

"Okay, I should go now."


Neither of us hangs up.



"I should go." I say, twirling the phone cord around
my finger and looking down at my underwear.


"Okay, one of us needs to hang up," I say softly.


"On three."

"One.." I start.

"Two.." He replies.

"Three.." We say together.

I fight the urge to stay on and quietly put the phone
back in its cradle. I'm half hoping he calls back so
we can start all over again. I wait a few minutes
staring at the phone before getting into my pajamas
and crawling into bed. It's probably a good thing
I'm too tired to do anything but fall into an almost
immediate sleep.

I dream about giant waffles and tree sloths.


I was going to call her back. I had the phone in my
hand after just pressing down on the receiver
following our mutually spoken "three". I fought the
urge to stay on; I hope she didn't either because I
wouldn't have wanted to hang up on her.

I started to dial her number but stopped as I
remembered where I was and came to the conclusion that
calling my assistant back to ask her what she's
wearing might not be the best idea.

I lay my head down on my desk.

Of course kissing her on the floor by her desk wasn't
a great idea either.

I have absolutely *no* idea what I'm doing.

Donna's right, I need to go home and get some sleep.

The End



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