Disclaimers in Part 1

If Donna hadn't been trying to fight the lump in her throat or the tears welling up in her eyes she might have noticed that Josh had started walking back to his office. As it was, she looked up and found him leaning casually against a wall, arms crossed, watching her.

"Tell me something," he said archly. "Have you always had this habit of eavesdropping, or is this a new aspect of your character coming to light?"

She turned her back on him and began making her way to her desk. "Apparently it's the only way I learn anything around here"

He caught up to her, putting a hand on her arm to make her stand still.

"Come for a walk with me."

"A walk? Suddenly the entire West Wing wants me to go for a walk."

"What?"

"Nothing. Where do you want to walk?"

He had no idea. He just felt that they needed to find neutral ground and talk. He said the first thing that came to mind: "The rose garden."

"You've developed a sudden interest in flowers?"

"I like flowers I've always liked flowers."

"You hate nature but fine."

The night was warm and the air was full of the scent of wet grass and roses. Josh took a deep breath

"That smell always make me think of my Dad," he confided.

Donna sat on one of the benches. "How come?"

"We had a rose bush next to the driveway. I came home late one night, about a week before I graduated from high school and there was my Dad sitting on the back steps. He must have just gotten home from the office, because he was still wearing his suit." Josh had his head tilted back and was staring at a satellite drifting across the sky as he spoke. "At first I thought he was mad because I was a couple of minutes late for curfew but then I noticed that he was holding my basketball. He looked at me and he said 'You grew up much faster than I thought you would' and then he suggested that we play some one-on-one."

"Did you?"

Josh refocused on Donna. "Yeah, we did. It's midnight and Dad and I are out there shooting hoops. Then John Hogarth, our next door neighbor came out. The noise had disturbed him and he thought it was me, goofing off with one of my friends. When he saw Dad, he went back inside and woke up his son Jerry, who was a couple of years younger than me, and we all played basketball for something like four hours." He glanced at her. "Sorry that's not why I dragged you out here, the scent of the roses just reminded me"

"Don't apologize."

Josh crouched down beside the bench, resting his arms across his thighs, his hands clasped in front of him. He opened his mouth to speak but Donna beat him to the punch.

"Josh are you mad at me?"

"I thought that you were mad at me."

"A little, but this morning, I got the feeling that you were pissed off with me."

"Because I told you not to go out to lunch?"

"Because of that, because you were practically mono-syllabic on the drive to work, because you flipped out that the Berens memo was in twelve point instead of ten."

"I take the aesthetics of the documents that my staff put out very seriously."

"Josh!" Donna groaned.

Josh stood up and stuck his hands in his pockets. "I was kind of pissed off this morning but not at you."

"What were you mad about?"

"A situation"

"What situation? And I'm as prepared to do this one word at a time as you are. So rather than sit out here all night could you just tell me?"

Josh was quiet for a minute. Donna sat patiently waiting

"I was mad about... I was upset that Bryan Kitler of all people has the right to kiss you goodnight and I don't."

"So you're mad at me because I let Bryan Kitler kiss me"

"No." Then off her look, "maybe."

"I see"

Josh figured that since the cat was out of the bag, he might as well put voice to his frustrations. "How could you let him touch you? I mean I don't fully understand why you went out with him but how-"

"Because he asked!" Donna shouted at him "On both counts because unlike you, who can talk around a subject for years, he came right out and asked. Okay so Brian Kitler may not be as smart as you or as successful as you, and, as it turns out, he isn't a particularly nice guy. But he's got you beat on one count, Josh, and that is that at least he's clear on what he wants."

"Yeah I noticed." Josh snarled "Gotta love a guy who's direct"

"I don't see how you can justify getting mad at me for choosing Bryan over you, which by the way I didn't, but I know that's what you're thinking, when you won't just come out and tell me what you want. Me Josh, not Sam, not CJ, me."

Josh scuffed at the grass with the toe of his shoe but remained silent

"I'll tell you something else. It really wasn't Bryan Kitler I wanted to have kiss me goodnight. It never is." She got up to go back inside.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want you to be sorry, I want, well never mind what I want." She took two steps toward the building then whirled back around to face him, looking less angry, more vulnerable "How come you can tell Sam and for that matter CJ but not me? Did you think I was going to laugh in your face?"

"Laugh? No." Josh shook his head "But it is easier to talk about it with Sam and CJ than to say it to you and have you look at me with that face you get when you're about to tell me something I don't want to hear. I guess it's like being back in junior high when you get your best friend to ask her best friend if she likes you."

"Haven't we all grown up since then?"

"Have we?" Josh asked. "I have a theory that much of the world's love poetry, at least the part of it penned by men was never really intended for women. It was written to show off to other guys because the poet was too scared to actually go talk to the object of his desire. 'We men may say more, swear more, but indeed our shows are more than will; for still we prove much in our vows and little in our love.'"

"Shakespeare as it was meant to be done?"

"Well it was that or Andrew Marvell, and I didn't think 'To His Coy Mistress ' was entirely appropriate."

Donna had to smile.

Josh echoed the grin but then his face crumpled to something more like disappointment. "And then there's Article Seven, Section Two"

"Article Seven, Section Two? Somehow I think we just left the subject of poetry."

" 'No supervisor shall engage, in a relationship of a sexual or romantic nature with a direct sub-ordinate.' Not exactly Walt Whitman. What's more, I'll lay you even odds that the sonuvabitch who wrote that was engaging in a sexual romantic relationship with a sub-ordinate hence the word 'direct' sneaking in there but it doesn't help me either way. The only person on the White House payroll I'm technically allowed to date is Toby and I don't think I could carry on a relationship with a Yankees fan."

"You're quoting the Federal Employees Workplace Standards Act aren't you?" Donna ignored the last remark.

"Yeah. Donna, if I were to say the things in my heart out loud to someone other than Sam and CJ but particularly to you; and if the fates decided for one brief minute to take pity on me and you said them back, then Leo would have no choice but to split us up. I know this is going to sound like I've finally lost what's left of my mind but I'd rather have you by my side every day in that office than in my bed for the few nights when I'm not so dog-tired for it to make a difference."

The last of Donna's anger faded away.

"That's why I haven't said it to you" Josh confessed. "It doesn't mean I don't feel it, believe me I feel it. I just can't say it."

"What were you going to do?" Donna asked gently "Wait 'til the Inauguration Day of whoever succeeds President Bartlet and then go down on one knee?"

"That and sabotage every date you go on between now and then. Those that don't self-destruct on their own."

"Self – destruction. Is that how you'd characterize last night?"

"I'm going to characterize last night as a one time occurrence and pray it stays that way," Josh declared seriously

"Let me ask you something, FEWSA is an Act of Congress right?"

"Hence the word 'act' in the title."

"Signed into law by the President, in this case President Bartlet's predecessor covering all Federal employees from the Attorney General, to the guy in the HUD regional office in Bismarck, to the lady who gives the White House tours right?"

He shot her a weary look that suggested he wasn't in the mood for a civics lesson but nodded "Yes"

"No."

"No?"

"You, me and Shelley Gilmore are exempt."

"Who's Shelley Gilmore?"

"The tour guide on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays."

"And why are we three special cases?" Josh was trying to keep up and failing miserably.

"To quote 'The White House and Congress are exempt from the workplace related laws that they pass.' Now who was it that told me that?"

A slow smile spread across Josh's face as Donna continued: "For those of us who work in the White House, FEWSA is at best an outline of expectations. Infringements have to be dealt with on a case by case basis by Leo and you."

Josh just continued to smile and shake his head

Donna took a deep breath then said softly: "Say it, don't say it but don't hide behind legislation, okay?"

Josh waited until she had started across the lawn before throwing his arms wide and yelling "I love you!"

Donna stopped and turned around again, trying very hard, (and not particularly succeeding) to look annoyed in spite of his words. "This wasn't supposed to negate our earlier discussion on discretion."

Josh moved to join her, still grinning. "I think we should make a deal."

"What's that?" she asked, curious

"I won't hide behind legislation and you don't get to hide behind rumours."

"I wasn't hiding behind anything!" Donna protested

"Right and you've been outstandingly forthcoming about how you feel."

"Look, knowing you as I do, I had every right to believe that given enough rope you'd hang yourself. Washington thrives on scandal. It's like living in an Edith Wharton novel. Have you thought about what Mary Marsh will do if she thinks she has you on illicit affair with your assistant? She'll call Mark Gottfried's producer before you can say 'unethical hiring practices'."

"One, apart from anything else, since I was sleeping with someone else when I hired you, it's not unethical. Two, Mark hates Mary Marsh. She's too far right to even make good television, except when I help. As you will recall, for that fateful day, he'd booked Al Caldwell, Mary was asked to fill in at the last minute. Three, Mrs. Marsh is misguided about many things, on which, when taken off the leash, I am happy to set her straight but there is one thing about which I will never correct her, or Mark Gottfried or the House Majority Leader, and that is you and me. As far as I'm concerned they can cling to their misconceptions 'til the next time the British burn Washington."

"What are you talking about?"

"Mary thinks you're my wife. She might run with the thing about Matt and I, in fact-"

"Josh stop! Stop being playing to the balcony for one minute and tell me what you're talking about. Please?"

"You heard me."

"They think I'm your wife?"

"CJ left that part out huh? The rumours weren't that we were sleeping together, they were that we were married."

Donna's eyes widened in amazement "How on earth did people leap to that conclusion?"

"Is it so far-fetched?"

"No Josh we keep separate apartments, don't wear wedding bands and date other people, of course the first conclusion anyone would jump to is that we were married"

"On the other hand, there hasn't been a thirty six hour period since we took office that we haven't at least spoken on the phone. We eat together, sit together at the President's movie nights, I send you flowers, you buy my ties. We finish each other's fries, beers and sentences. You have to admit that there's an obvious connection. I guess we were naïve to think that people were just going to ignore it"

"But married?"

"Wouldn't you rather have them think that than come to conclusion that we were having a torrid affair?"

"But why didn't they come to that conclusion?"

"Well CJ's theory is that we don't act like people conducting a clandestine relationship"

"Perhaps because we aren't, or at least we weren't."

"Do remember Senator Archer? He was a Democrat out of...."

"Wisconsin. Josh I know who he is, I voted for him, mores the pity. He resigned at midterms didn't he? Once it came out that he was sleeping with one of his staffers?"

"That's him."

"Would you have to resign if it was discovered you were sleeping with one of your staff?"

He raised his eyebrows slightly at her use of the abstract but chose not to comment on it.

"Well apparently not, given that there's no rule against it. Even if there were, I'm not married with four children and I rarely pontificate on the erosion of family values, so the hypocrisy factor is a little less glaring. The reason I brought him up is this; do you remember when he met with Leo and me on the Test Ban Treaty?"

"Yes"

"You commented after the meeting that he was incredibly rude to his aide, in fact I believe you said he even made me look like a decent guy to work for."

"I remember."

"That was the woman."

"And in order to conceal what was going on between them in private, he was unpleasant to her in public." Donna concluded knowingly

"Exactly. Misdirection and subterfuge. But we don't behave like that so people came up with another explanation."

"If we had been cold and abrupt, people would have assumed we were sleeping together but hiding it, so because we're civil they decided we're sleeping together but married?"

"I think we moved beyond civil a long time ago, in fact I'd say our lack of civility intrigues them more than anything else."

"I'm not going to start calling you 'Sir', so give it up"

"Worth a try," he muttered with a small puck-like grin.

"So is there anyone who didn't assume we were sleeping together?"

"All kinds of people. Including the ones who really matter. Donna, people like Leo and the President, CJ, Sam, Toby and the others, they all know why you have your job and that it has nothing to do with sex."

"You didn't keep me around because you wanted to...did you?"

"You don't seriously need me to answer that?"

He could tell by her face that as much as she wanted to say no, part of her also needed to hear him say it.

"You work for me because you are smart, talented and I am organizationally challenged at the best of times. You work for me because I don't function well without you. And while I suppose the fact that I like having you around has played a part, it was in addition to your abilities, not in spite of them."

"Thank you"

"So much as I'm sure it pains you to think anyone would assume you actually consented to marry me, you don't need to worry about them believing you slept your way into the West Wing."

"Why didn't you just say that earlier?"

"Donna you didn't even want to eat dinner with me, I wasn't sure how you'd react to knowing that I had let people believe that we were married."

"Must have really put a cramp in your love life. All those cute congressional interns thinking you were taken," she laughed

Josh sighed. "Do I need to do this at the top of my lungs again? I l-"

"Josh, shut up. And I love you too."

Donna took hold of his tie and pulled him to her, then pressed a deep kiss against his mouth. It was like kissing a live circuit. A current flowed through them, pulling them closer together, pulling them over the edge into the deep end of the pool.

"Wow!" Donna murmured breathlessly as they parted.

"That was definitely worth waiting for." Josh agreed huskily. "Man if kissing is that good, think how great the rest of it's going to be."

Donna blushed.

"I really didn't intend to say that out loud," he admitted

"It's okay. I'll choose to be flattered rather than offended" she grinned at him

"Good" Josh moved to kiss her again but then paused "Is that how you kissed Bryan Kitler?"

"Oh I give up." Donna pushed him away

"Donna, wait. I'm sorry, that was way out of line."

"What the hell is the matter with you, Josh? You've been acting like a complete nutbar all day. It's like you can't decide which of us to be more angry at: Bryan for what he did after he kissed me or me for kissing him in the first place."

"Or myself for letting it happen."

She remembered what Leo had said earlier.

"Donna, I've known Bryan Kitler for years, since I was Brennan's Chief of Staff. He worked for me. He was a jerk then and he's a jerk now."

"Agreed, but knowing that that's what you thought wasn't going to stop me from going out with him."

"I should have told you."

"Told me what? That I have lousy taste in men? You've told me that about a hundred times before. I hate to break it to you Josh, but I don't take every word out of your mouth as gospel truth. Look," she said more gently "you're my boss and my friend, and believe me I was very glad to see you last night but you are not my keeper. I accepted the date, on my own. You could have told me that Bryan Kitler was the re-incarnation of Jack the Ripper and I would have ignored you, because I don't think you're impartial. This was not your fault, Joshua"

"He could have really hurt you." Josh said, finally allowing the pictures that had been in the back of mind all day to surface.

"But he didn't. I'd like to think that even if you hadn't shown up I would have been able to deal with it but I'm really grateful that I didn't have to find out. Okay?"

When he didn't reply, she said again "Josh? Okay?"

"Yeah okay" He knew the guilt wouldn't go away quite that quickly, but at least he could look at her without feeling like he'd let her down.

"So about the fact that I kissed him."

"We don't have to do this"

"Yeah I think maybe we do. It was just a kiss, okay? It meant nothing."

"And a minute ago, was that 'just a kiss' too?"

She sighed "I know I'm going to regret telling you this but..."

"But?"

"Every guy I've dated in the last few years has been an attempt to get over you."

"Really?" The look of consternation he'd been wearing started to fade and his usual cocky grin to re-assert itself.

"Yes" Donna reluctantly conceded.

"Seriously?"

"Do you think I'd give you that kind of ammunition if I was kidding? You're a smart, funny, generous man. I mean you're also the most irritating, arrogant, insufferable-"

"Donna?"

"I'm just trying to add some balance to the proceedings. Anyway every time I thought I was just about over you, every time you had reached new heights of dorkdom-"

"Dorkdom?"

"You would do something like hiring Charlie, or taking on the pharmaceutical companies; like caring more about the Cuban refugees than the fact that you were about to get fired, or telling the NSC to keep their card, or going after a guy with a baseball bat cause you thought he might be hurting me and-"

"Hang on, how the hell did you hear about that?"

"I was there" Donna shook her head not understanding

"No, not the baseball bat, the NSC?"

"Leo told me."

"Leo told you? You're security clearance isn't nearly high enough to-"

"You were dying, Josh."

That brought him up short

"You were in your tenth hour of surgery when you started to stroke out for a minute. Leo and I were in the observation room and I almost fainted. Leo grabbed hold of me and just started talking. It took me a minute to pay attention but when I did I realized he was telling me a story about you giving back the card and what you said when you did. By the time he finished, they had your blood pressure back under control."

Josh quietly put his arms around her. He forgot sometimes, what she had been though with the shooting and its aftermath. "You didn't tell anyone else right?" he murmured softly as she slid her arms around his waist

"No. But I wanted you to know that I know. It's who you are, what you're made of, it's what I fell in love with. Every time, I met some other guy who I thought I might be happy with, you'd pull some super-Josh move and I'd be hooked again."

"Should I apologize for not being a dork enough of the time?"

"How about you just apologize for being one today?"

"I'm sorry" he brushed her lips with his own "Really, really sorry"

"And I'm really, really sorry I kissed Bryan Kitler."

"Yeah?"

"Well apart from anything else, he's a lousy kisser"

Josh laughed then seemed to think of something.

"Donna your decision not to press charges, that's not because you're worried about me is it? Because if it is-"

"No, though I still think you should wipe your prints off Toby's bat."

"I suspect Toby's already done that."

"When I talked to Ainsley this morning, about what happened, it was her opinion that we'd have a hard time making anything stick. He could walk free or he could get community service but anything else was unlikely."

"Why?"

"Because I wasn't hurt badly enough."

Josh tightened his arms. He was angry again but at least now he was clear about at whom it was directed.

"Monday morning I start making calls, we're passing Lobo's bill if it kills me"

"Did you and Leo discuss it with her today?"

"Once she saw the tape, it was pretty much the central focus but Leo and I talked after she'd left. The White House will be backing it."

"Cause the First Lady will make your lives miserable if we don't?"

"That played a part, yes, but also because we got a bit of a wake-up call."

"Sorry if I scared you" Donna touched his jaw lightly

"Hey, you weren't hurt. That's the most important thing. That and the fact that Kitler's being fired."

"Can she fire him over this? It took place outside of work hours."

"Conduct unbecoming."

"If FEWSA doesn't apply to us then it-"

"Bryan Kitler's not a federal employee, he's an employee of Washington State. They have their own code and he broke it." Josh grinned "I think we'll call this one a win."

"Uh-huh" Donna decided to let him smirk. He'd earned a little gloating

"So I have an idea," her beloved changed the subject.

"What's that?"

"Well since half of D.C. thinks we're already married, why don't we go to Vegas and do it?"

"Get married?"

"Yes"

"This weekend?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Well for all of the usual reasons, also because if Leo doesn't agree with your interpretation of FEWSA, I think it gives us a safety net."

Donna looked confused "How?"

"Well everyone knows marriage isn't about sex or romance."

"You're really selling your case."

"Yes or No?"

"No."

"'Kay let me rephrase that-"

" Josh I love you, I want to be with you but I am not eloping with you."

"Why not?"

"Because my mother, the patron saint of large family weddings, will never forgive either one of us and will make us pay dearly at every and all subsequent family gatherings. Furthermore I don't want to be married by Elvis, young or old. Not to mention that I'd like to take our time with this thing. I don't think we need to run the full gamut from single to married in forty-eight hours."

"How about seventy two hours?"

"How about we re-visit this after the election?"

"That's months away!"

"Shock horror"

"I hate waiting."

"Surprising 'cause you're so good at it."

"Hey, I've waited years for you. I haven't been dating other people."

"Ahem"

"You could hardly classify that weekend with Sarah Wissenger as a date besides that wasn't about you, that was to bug Mandy"

"It would be in your own best interest to stop talking, right now."

"Deal" Josh whispered, as his mouth once again sought hers.

"Weren't you going to buy me dinner?" Donna asked the next time they paused for breath

"Gonna hold me to that are you?"

"Josh, some of those files haven't seen the light of day since people were walking around wearing 'I like Ike' buttons. Can you conceive of how much dust that is? You're buying me several dinners."

"Tonight"

"Over multiple nights"

"I really did need them."

"At lunch time?"

"There's no may for me to win this, is there?"

"Nothing comes to mind."

"'Kay. Are we still starting with Agatha's tonight?"

"Do you have another suggestion? And so help me, Josh, if you say Kentucky Fried, that's what you'll be."

"Well" Josh ventured "I know a great little place in Georgetown, very discreet, excellent wine list"

"How's the menu?"

"Let's see at the moment, a box of Poptarts, five eggs, three cans of soup, a tube of Pringles, a box of Cheerios, half a packet of Oreos, a carton of milk that might still be good and the number of the best Chinese take out in three states on speed dial."

"Tempting" Donna nodded considering, then she grinned wickedly "What about 'the rest of it'?"

"Oh, that's the house specialty" Josh's expression matched her own.

"In that case, what are we still hanging around here for?"

Come Monday, Josh had to fight not to walk into work grinning.

"Morning Donna" he called nonchalantly. They had driven in separately, though that was practically the only time they'd been apart since Friday night.

"Morning Josh. You've got about three minutes 'til 'Senior Staff'," she informed him from the coffee area.

"Thanks. How was your weekend?" He dropped his backpack on his desk and sifted through the morning wires. There was a pause and he mentally pictured her staring at his back in confusion then realizing his words were for the benefit of the other staff slowly wandering into the bullpen.

"Oh it was okay, I guess. I had a date."

"How'd it go?" Josh asked, his smile widening at the memory of the weekend, as he skimmed the numbers out of Tokyo.

"You know the usual," Donna replied feeling that it was her job to protect Josh from his own ego, "pathetic guy, dull evening, no future in it."

He appeared beside her, his voice much lower. "Dull? Pathetic?"

"My aren't we sensitive" she murmured, teasing him, her smile mischievous and wide

"Is that for me?" he pointed to the coffee in her hand

"Not that much has changed."

" A guy can hope." Josh poured himself a cup.

"Morning, Josh. Hi, Donna." Sam rounded the corner.

"Hi, Sam"

"Morning" Donna returned to her desk

"Where were you all weekend?" Sam asked Josh. "I called you to go to the Oriels game but I kept getting your answering service."

"Oh I went off to lick my wounds."

There was a loud crash as Donna dropped her coffee cup.

"You okay?" Sam spun around, concerned.

Donna nodded.

"Are you sure? You didn't get burned?"

She shook her head

"Do you have the file for Toby?" Josh asked looking particularly amused from behind Sam's shoulder.

"I'm just drying it off" Donna replied shooting him a warning look

"I'll meet you at Toby's office after 'Senior Staff'"

"You do that."

Sam looked at Josh then at Donna and finally back at Josh. He opened his mouth but Josh cut him off.

"What did we decide about you speaking on this topic."

Sam closed his mouth and smiled "Okay then, but can I just say this?"

"Sam."

"Told you so. That's all, just told you so."

Josh thought about it, "Okay Sam you win."

"Thank you."

"But Sam, your turn is coming." Josh winked at Donna then started to walk to the meeting

"What's that supposed to mean? Josh? Come on Josh, what do you mean my turn is coming? Josh?"

The end