"Movers & Shakers" 1/1
Rating: PG (well, it's not a cartoon, and only cartoons are G, right?)
Disclaimer: All characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin & co.
Note: This is my first of probably many West Wing fanfics. Comments are welcome. For further writings of mine, look at the fanfic sections of www.austen.com.
Movers & Shakers
"Donna!" Josh Lyman yelled in the tone that was guaranteed to get his assistant's attention at least fifty percent of the time.
"Donna!" He tried again with more volume.
She might as well have been Joey Lucas for all the response it got. The blonde woman didn't move, but remained staring intently at a document on her desk.
Josh walked to the desk and stood behind her. "White House Sexual Harrassment Policy..." his voice trailed as he realized what he was reading. "Donna," he whispered and tapped her on the shoulder.
Donna jumped. "Josh!" she whined. "Why did you do that?"
The potential implications of what Donna was reading were starting to worry the Deputy Chief of Staff. "Bring that and follow me," he said, nodding in the direction of his office.
When they were seated in his office, Josh took a deep breath before beginning. "Donna, is there something you're not telling me? I mean, have I done something inadvertently? Has someone else...?" She raised her hand signaling for him to stop.
"Nothing's happened - yet." The word "yet" hung ominously in the air.
"Then would you mind explaining to me what is going on? Also, why are you dressed like you're in mourning?" Josh spoke the last as an afterthought.
"I am in mourning, Josh, for my dead love life."
Josh rolled his eyes. Her statement was so serious, just like every time she brought him some Bartlet-ish obscure fact or expected him to buy her skis for Christmas or to take her to Maui. "How ridiculous can this get?" he accidentally said aloud.
Donna stood up and glared at him menacingly. "It's not ridiculous, Josh. I just realized I have not even kissed anyone since I walked into your office three years ago."
"And this is my fault how?"
"Could it be that you have worked me so hard that I have absolutely no time for a social life?"
Josh thought for a minute. "Okay, could be. And I guess now is when you're going to bring in the White House Sexual Harrassment policy, right?"
Donna slammed the document on his desk. "I found a loophole."
Josh knew his day was in trouble. He sat and waited for his eccentric assistant to continue.
"There are rules in here about superiors approaching their subordinates, demanding favors in a 'quid pro quo' kind of thing. There are rules about people on equal levels having relationships. But there's not one thing about going to your boss and threatening to make his life miserable unless he gives you what you want!"
Josh held up a finger. "First, I would like to point out that Leo does not have one thing that I would want with the possible exception of his job."
"Kiss me or your phone messages will be even more incomprehensible. You will not know of your meetings until five minutes before. I will rearrange the files beyond any possible repair. Do I need to go on?"
"That's it, I know the White House has to have some psychological services around here." Josh began shuffling papers on his desk in search of a phone directory.
"I'm glad that we agree that I would have to be under severe mental duress to do this. I am under severe mental duress. It's just that with the exception of Sam (whom I find too pretty for my tastes), you're the only semi-attractive male that I ever see in this workplace where I spend way too much of my time. I'm not professing undying love for you, I'm saying that I'm starved for physical affection, it's your fault, and you should provide the solution." Donna stared into her boss's eyes as he began to realize she meant business.
Josh broke eye contact to gaze at the floor. "So, what kind of kiss are we talking about here?"
"The kind that will make up for the last three years and will last me till the end of the Bartlet administration."
Josh thought for a moment, then the familiar cocky smile began to spread across his face. "It's the only kind I know how to do," he said. "Come here, Donnatella."
Donna reached behind her to lock the office door.
He reached one hand around her waist and the other behind her neck, pulling her to him. One last flash of his arrogant grin, and then his lips were on hers, caressing them ever so gently. As the kiss deepened, she wrapped her hands behind his head, sighing in enjoyment as she did so. Josh took advantage of the slight parting of her lips as she sighed, and Donna Moss lost all ability to think rationally.
Five minutes later Josh's phone began ringing, shocking them both to reality. "That's how we do things in New England, my friend," Josh said softly as he pulled away.
"You should get that," Donna said. "I'm going to remember to find a New Englander to date next time I get some time off," she added as she left his office.
Josh was sitting in the office of one of the White House counsel. The lawyer was reading a document and laughing hysterically.
"Basically, your assistant threatened to make your life miserable unless you compensated her for her lack of love life by kissing her? I don't know which is worse, that or the fact that you wrote up the incident in detail and brought it to me for legal advice!"
"You know, you can stop laughing anytime now. All I need is for you to tell me she broke a rule."
"Sorry, can't do. She got you good, my man."
"Can we keep this from happening again?"
"You sure you don't want to bottle up that 'semi-attractiveness' and sell it instead?"
"You are really getting on my nerves. Just fix it."
Donna shoved a document in front of Margaret's nose. "Read it and weep," she said.
"Changes in White House Sexual Harrassment Policy. What on earth?" Margaret asked.
"Keep reading," Donna ordered.
"'A subordinate is not permitted to make any sort of advances toward his/her superior.' Guess this means you can't act out on your Josh fantasies, but what does it have to do with me?"
"Usually a change in policy is precipitated by some incident," Donna pointed out.
"An incident.... Donna you didn't!"
"Oh, I did, and when you pay for dinner tonight I will give you all the details. Imagine that, I get the best kiss of my life, I scare the you-know-what out of my boss, and I win our bet on who could be the first to instigate a major policy change in the White House. Life is sweet!" said Donnatella Moss with a grin, kissing her fingers to the air.
Meanwhile, Josh Lyman sat in his office twirling a pencil in his fingers and replaying a certain kiss over and over in his mind.