Nature Isn't Too Kind- Part 2 

Sorry about not putting an intro to the first part...and yeah, i dunno, but the e-mails were messed up cause i attched them all at u saw all the 2nd part of the fics at once..sorry, wont do that again. And without futher adue...the final polished copy of "Nature Isn't 2 Kind...part 2"

Archive: i dont care, just tell me. Rating: G- clean, nuttin bad.


"I cannot believe we have to go camping."

"This is going to be disasterous."

"Is that a word?"

"i dunno."

"Hey look, the graduate from Harvard and Yale doesn't know! Let's hear it for Josh Lyman, everyone!"

Sam mocked a round of applause as Cj and Toby just laughed.

"this still isn't going to be good."

"Guys, get over it. We're going, so might as well make the best of it," Cj spoke.

"Easy for you to say. You've gone camping before," Sam squealed.

"don't tell me Mother Seaborne never took you to the park."

"I was very allergic," Sam confessed.

"Allergic to humans, that is," Toby chuckled.

"Yeah, well, i'm not too comfortable on having to bring Danny with me."

"Well, at least you don't have to beg Donna to come!"

"this is horrible, we need the President to reconsider."

"He will never reconsider."

"I am going to have to grovel and plead to get Mallory to come."

"Leo is SO going to kill you," Cj laughed.

"Well, i don't think he won't be too happy either when he finds out you've been spending nights over at Danny's."

Cj wasn't amused by Sam's joke.

"No comeback Ms Press Secretary?"

"For your information, i have decided to speak in silence so that you do not provoke a tantrum."


"come on, we're not little kids, we're just going to have to live in a weekend with him." 


"'We're just going to have to live a weekend with him'," mocked Sam.

"so help me god, Sam, if i hear another-"

"Is there trouble out on the back?" asked the PResident, while talking to Danny.

"Uh- no sir, we were just discussing the house resolution # 321."


"See if you hadn't..."

The President turned his back on Sam and Toby as he continued along trying to find the perfect site for their 5 tents.

"Here! I like it here!"

The President stopped in the middle of a small opening, where a small creek ran a few yards away, with the forest sorrounding them.

"...Conflict of interest..." Cj mumbled what Leo's little lecture had reminded her.

"What Cj?"

"i said a pick of perfect interest, Leo," Cj managed to say.


"Now, my staff, we shall have a compitition. The last tent up and ready shall have to make dinner tonight."

"Great, we can pick our own team mates, right?"

Josh and Sam crossed their fingers to be in the same tent.

" I assembeld a list on the way it is."

The President slowly unraveled a torn and used paper, and read it over once.


"Please, not me and Leo, please, oh please, not me and Leo..." begged Josh.

"Okey dokey, the 1st tent is Cj, Mallory and Donna."

"Whew," whispered Donna.

"Great, now we can stay up all night and tell each other which one fo those..." Mallory continued with their evening plans.

"So, sir, no guy/girl bunking?"

"No, Josh, but nice try."


"2nd tent, is Leo and..."

"Not me, not me, not me..."


Josh mumbled a sigh of relief.

"The 3rd tent is Danny, Josh, and Sam."

"Alright!" yelled Sam.

"And the final one is me, all alone."

Cj & Mallory quickly chose dibs on the most level area and began to set up camp there.

"Come on, guys, we can't let the girls beat us!"

"Uh, Josh how do i do this?"

Sam was holding up a series of sticks and crossbows and a manual.

"that would be a small problem." 


"Come on, Leo, you can't just sit there."

"Watch me."

"Mr. President, Leo won't help."

The president turned to see Leo cross legged on the floor, not helping Toby set up.


"Sir, i did not attend prestigious colleges to help Toby set up camp in the 100 acre woods."

"Leo, you've watched Winne the pooh?"

josh smirked at his boss, only to see an evil grin form Leo.


"But sir?"

"sorry, Toby, oyu're on your own."

Toby sighed and tried to put the tent together. 


"Danny! Snap out of it!"

danny was caught watching Cj out together the tent.

"What? huh?"

"Danny," whispered Josh,"stop staring at your girlfriend and help us!"

"Yeah, yeah."

Danny stood from his spot and winked at Cj. 


"And it seems as- uh- Leo and Toby, oyu were last."

"Sir, if i may say, i believe this was unjust. I demand a recount."

"toby, leo can cook for you. you've already slaved over the tent. Let leo cook."

Leo shot the President a look, but smiled.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll do it." 


"Leo...that was rather good."



"Hey, my dad's a pretty good cook."

"Pretty? you're looking at Emiril's mentor."

"Ok, dad, not that much."

"Oh, ok."

While the President and LEo talked about the issues, josh, Sam, and Danny were cooking up a plan to go get the girls when everyone was asleep.

"This is like a jr. camp out, when i got my wilderness badge."

" were a boyscout?"

"After my allergies went away."


"So, after lights out, we go over there to see if they're 'okay.' Right?"

"Yeah, yeah. We'll 'check up' on em." 


"Our first camping trip and i can't even bunk with him. What a waste."

"I know, Josh will probably never take us to the outdoors again."

"Well, we went camping once, but it rained," explained Cj.

"And?" Mallory was filling with excitement.

"We had to go to a hotel."

"A hotel? Not a bad idea, if we can go back to our cars.."

"Mallory, if he hears you, we'll be dead."

"you're right. this may turn out to be some fun. I heard there was a small lake out there...maybe some skinning dipping."


"Oh, come on, Cj. I'm sure no press will be out here."

"There is press everywhere. Leo will kill all of us."

"I have to agree with Cj, Mal."

"Well, we'll see."


"Do we *have* to go to our tents now?"

"Yes, Cj, you do."

"But sir, it's like only 10 o clock and it gets really stuffy in there."

"Well, don't breathe. Open a window.":

"That was very funny Josh."

Cj shot him a small grin.

"Josh, shut up."

"Well said Mal."

"Sam, shut up."

"Oh, will all of you, shut up?"

"Put a sock in it Toby."

"Claudia Jean if you-"

"Josh,If you say that ever again-"

"Please! We're all adults here."



"Well, that was our first date."

"What did Dad say?"

"Oh, he only found out now."


"In one word? Enraged."


"Geez, cj, Leo didn't take it that bad when me and Josh started going out."

"that's cause he likes you guys better."


"Oh, yes. He knows i broke his frame."

"you broke the Queen ELizabeth frame?"

"Yup. We were in abig battle over who was the best super hero, and Sam lined a nerf at my head, and i responded, and the baby ducked and it broke the frame."

:What did you do?"

"I said Sam did it." 


"Should we go now?"

"Yeah, they should be asleep by now."


Slowly and cautiously the three buys, got up, opened their tent and headed outside.

"Shh...Sam you stepped on me."


They past the president's tent, and slowly opened the girls' tent.



All of them were in their sleeping bags.

"Does the door randomly open and close."


"Well, then why is it now?"

Cj turned to see 3 dark figures.



Danny put a hand over her mouth and showed their faces.

"Oh, thank god. I thought-"

"Hey, don't worry. We only came for the manicure tips."

"Hardy har har, Sam."

"Ok, ok, you caught me."

Sam squeezed over by Mallory.

"Is there room for 2?"

"sure, babe."

Cj scooted over her sleeping bag so that Danny could fit.

"What about me?"

"Right here, Josh."


"Hey Josh?Sam? Danny?"

"Leo peeked in to see all of them gone.

"I am going to kill them."

"Kate. Come here, i need your help.

Leo talked to ayoung secret service agent who agreed to go into Cj adn company's tent.

"Rise and Shine!"

"OH- shit-," Josh awoke suddenly.

"What the-"


Suddenly, all bodies were mobilized.

"Oh...uh....could this be our little secret?" Cj tried to compromise with the agent.

"No secrets, Cj."

Leo popped his head in their tent.

"Oh. Hi leo..."


"...and then, sfter you wash all of our dishes, and make breakfast, all fo you will go out to the lake and swim a couple miles. Then, you shall go back to cars in exile and return quickly."

" we have to?"

"Yes. That's your punishment."

"How do you know we won't leave in the cars?"

"I'll have the keys."

"Yeah, but Cj can pick a-"

Cj quickly elbowed Josh.

"Pick a what?"

"Pick a cold, yeah, she's really iffy in the woods."

"Alright. Anyway, off you go."

"Thank you, sir."

Sam, MAl, Danny, Cj,Josh,and Donna all left with shoulders slumbed. All except for Cj.

When then coast looked clear, Cj finally let them ina secret.

" guys i have a plan."

"Uh-huh. Does it involve-"

"Sam, shut up. go ahead Cj."

"Thank you Joshua. I can pick locks."


"I can pick the car door lock and we can high-tail outta here!"

"where's you learn that?"

"Old berkley trick."

"Ah ha."

"so...we do these damn chores then make a run for the cars and we're gone."

"Sounds good to me."

"Anyone in oopostion, say nay now."

The crew stood in silence, awating someone to say something.


"Oh, Sam..."

"What if we got caught Cj?"

"i'll say you did it."

"That's how Leo thought i broke the frame-"

"Oh, the heck with the frame! Either we can risk it and get outta here- or we can stay around for another day."

"Risk it," was what everyone said.


"there we did them all."

"Wait- Cj, what if the secret service is out there?"

"We'll say the President needs us to run some errands."

"Will this get us in trouble?"

"not neccesarily."

The rest of the trip back to the cars was silent as they slowly made there way thru the brushes and trees into the field.

"there, I see them!"

Sam was pointing to a row of cars where they had parked.

"Yup, that's them alright."

Soon they were all making a run for the town cars each of them awaiting a sweet ride home.


Cj bended her knee and bedgun to work on the lock.


the door unlocked and Cj climbed in the drivers' seat as Danny, Sam and Mallory piled in the back.

"Uh- Josh, Donna, you can go in the other car."

Cj moved out and opened the other door.

"Now, if you guys mess that car up, you're paying for it."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Cj. You get in your ride."

Cj moved to her ride and started the engine.

"It's relaly stupid how the Secret Service leaves the keys in the cars."

"I know.."

Cj opened the glove compartment and took out her shades.

"Lets get outta here!"

Danny reached for his cell phone in the glove box and called Leo.

"uh- Leo?"

"Are you guys done yet?"

"Yeah...see listen, we found an old lady and she needs a ride home so we we won't be bcak tomorrow. she lives in Maine."

"uh-huh. And i'm the king of england."

"congratulations on mrrying Queen Elizabth..oh! gotta go Leo, see ya later."

Danny disconnected the call and turned his cell off.

"That should keep em busy..."




Cj rolled down her window and scremaed at Josh.


"Where the heck are we?"

"I don't know."

"We were following you!"

"you were? I was listening to this great song, and i just-"

"Joshua so help me God when i get out of this Garden of Eden the first thing i'm doing is ripping your head off!"

"Ok, let me fit you in my schedule."

Cj rolled up her window once again.

"Ok, josh says he doesn't know where we are."

"Maybe Toby knows-"

"toby's back at Camp."


They stared at each other wondering what to do next.

"Just keep on going south. We're bound to get there eventually."

"Sam, i don't want to get home 'eventually,' i wnat to get home now."

"How come you knew what Mendoza wold take and now you don't knwo where we are?"

"Well, he told me what he was taking."

Another awkward pause.

"Listen, next hotel we find with a restaurant, we;re stopping and staying at. We'll ask the people there."




"Just the next hotel right? We've passed over 10 places!!!"

"The other were runned down, Sam," Mallory spoke.

"You don't want one like that now do you?"

Mallory looked deep into his eyes.


"then wait till the next one! go ahead Cj." 


"fine, here we stay."

Cj moved out of the car and helped Mallory with a sleeping Sam.

"Why are we pulling him?"


"Wake him up."

Mallory tapped him, and he awoke.'

"Hey gorgeous, either get up or sleep on the floor.

"I'm up, i'm up."

The crew moved into the small cottage and looked around.

"Umm..we need 4 rooms and we have about 500 dollars."


"Uh, we have 400 dollars."

"Yeah. Uh we have cottage 1 and two open."

"That has how many rooms in total?"

"3 1/2."

"Uh- anything bigger?"


"We'lll take it, how much do we owe you?"

"50 total."

"Wow, i mean great."

Josh tossed in some money.

"Uh," Cj managed to say," Do you have a bar?"

"Yup, right next door."

Cj paid her share of the money and they all headed into the bar.


"Who would've thought! i mean, who would've thought this was to become great. Just great! No Leo, no toby..and no Leo, did i mention?"

"And no toby."

"Yeah. No toby."

they all sat around a table and were eating a pizza.

"i never knew they had such good pizza in the outdoors," Sam mused.

"I never knew aliens existed until i met you," josh laughed.

"ha ha."

They watched the tv, shared a few laughs and told some campaign stories.

"Hey would you turn that up please?"

"What's up Danny?"

Danny's attention suddenly left Cj and was at the tv.

"...and the bill the President signed last Friday has returned to the House and it looks very close. The bill may be passed over the Pres- ident. At this time, you may know, the President and some staffers have left on an anual camping trip. We receive no word from thewm, but we are sure they will be back in washington by this Monday..."

Cj turned to the bartender.

"Which is the nearest way to D.C?"


"I cannot belive we drove over 7 hours only to go back to D.C."

"Listen, would you rather be on Leo's bad side or good side?"


"then you made the irght choice."

Cj was driving as Sam complained in the bcak. Their decision to go back was mostly based on the News report. 



"We need to get in."


Cj moved towards the secret service agent in the car.



Cj opened her purse and showed the corresponding id and so did Sam and Danny.

"What about the miss?"

"She's Leo McGarry's daughter."

the guard didin't seem to buy it.

"Can i have a visitor's pass, please?"

Mallory shot the guard a killer smile.

"Why...of course."

"thank you."

Sam looked rather bedazzled as she won the pass.

"How did you- why did you-"



When the ?President came back on Monday morning he found the staffers all asleep in Leo's office. Cj held a report on the bill hearings and Sam was in his chair reading a memo. Josh was spraweled under the desk with a file of somesort on his face. Donna was in Margaret's office with Mallory asleep on the chair.

"you're fired!"

Leo yelled as loud as he could to wake up his staffers.

Immediately, the senior staff jumped, files, papers, and coffee went flying all over the office. Leo knew his office was a *total* wreck, but it was all worth it deep inside of him.

"Jesus Christ!" "holy Crap!"

Cj and Josh were throwing words as coffee sat on their laps, with files on their faces.

"Oh, my staff..."

Leo was biting himself so he wouldn't laugh.

Danny, Mallory, and Danny walked in form Margaret's office, all having a bad hair day.

"W-what happened, Leo?"

"Oh, nothing."

"nothing?" Josh was standing," Leo scared us to death and left us with coffee on our faces."


cj was standing now as she tried to organize the 80 something pages of files on the floor.

"What happened with the bill?"

"what bill?" Leo looked confused at what cj was saying.

"the bill that was vetoed, and that the senate was looking over...?"

"Oh...well, that was a prank."

"what?! Cj and i drove over 5 hours an 12 in total to get our as*es here! There's no such bill?!"

"No, Joshua, we played a prank," Toby walked in.

"A prank? Leo, tell me i am not heraing this."

"you are not hearing this," Danny replied.

"haha. Leo?"

"we were mad caues you letf us with the President for 16 more hours, so we called up the tv stations, and radio and todl them to play that for us."

"you are nuts."

"it was a great revenge."

"Very enjoyably too, Leo."

"toby, shut up." 





"Is it true that after the annual camping trip with the president, the senior staff, escaped? And also that they returned back to D.C. only to find a practical joke done by Chief of staff Leo McGarry?"

"And i thought you were being nice to us today. Yes, we "escaped," and yes, Mr. McGarry did play an un-funny joke on us."

"Any details?"


Cj waved them off and she left the podium to find Leo awaiting her.

"you tipped her off didn't you?"

"yeah," Leo grinned.

"that wasn't funny."

"It'll be in the Post tomorrow."

"ha ha."

"Really it will."

"Oh, take this way to personal."


"we escaped not from the beautiful sight of our boss-"

"thank you."

"Yeah, but from the sight of waking up and not having a coffee maker in 18 miles range."

"Oh. well, the president had one."



"I am never going camping again."

"Me either."

"us either."


"Yeah, you and me. Mallory and Sam."

"Very nicely put."

"any prize?"


"Anyway...we are never going camping again."


"yeah." "yeah."

the 3 couples shook their heads sadly, as they somehow knew that the President was going to tak them back to their pronmise.


"Evening, sir."

the president walked in as they conversed.

"Need anything?"



"i just wanted to see how you were al holding up."


"Well, driving for 12 hours."

"For *you* may i add."

"I know, i know."


"Well, i wanted to say thanks for that."


"Leo and i- well it was *my* idea- well, we thought that maybe you'd all like a day off."

"Great! when could we go? Cause anytime's great with us."

"Uh- we were thinkning of all of us going camping again, this weekend."








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