See part 1 for disclaimer

The song "It Was" is the property of Chelly Wright and her record label. The song "Beautiful Goodbye" is the property of Amanda Marshall and her record label. The song "In Too Deep" is the property of Genesis and their record label. The song "Anymore is the property of Travis Tritt and his record label. The song "Does That Blue Moon Ever Shine On You" is the property of Toby Keith and his record label. The song "Trying to Get Over You" is the property of Vince Gill and his record label. The song "Still Holdin On" is the property of Clint Black, Martina McBride and their respective record labels. The song "Hands to Heaven" is the property of Breathe and their record label.

I would like to thank AJ for suggesting many of these songs. By the way guess the entire song is only used on one of these. Most of this is just little parts of each song.

When Josh came in at 5:30 that morning he noticed that the light in CJís office was on. He walked in and found her typing furiously into her computer.

"Good morning, youíre here early."

"Yeah."

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Listen if you need to talk. I know what Leo did. Which was probably partially my fault. Iím canít tell you how sorry I am for that."

CJ turned to look at Josh for the first time since he had walked into the room. "Thanks," she said, "but I really *donít* want to talk about it right now."

"Okay, listen if you find that you want to talk. Iím here okay."

"Yeah, thanks Josh."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Sam walked into Tobyís office later that morning he found Toby staring out the window.

"Hey."

Toby turned away from the window. "What the hell do you want, Sam?"

"Whoa, sorry I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

"Again, Sam what the HELL do you want?!"

"Weíve got staff in five minutes. Listen Iím sorry about what Leo heard the other day. I heard he came down pretty hard on you and CJ."

"What exactly did you hear."

"Just that Leo came down hard on you two."

"Okay."

"Toby, I really am sorry that Leo heard us talking."

Toby looked at Sam for a moment before answering. "Donít worry about it." He then walked down the hall to what he knew would be a torturous staff meeting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ felt a weird sense of deja vu as she was sitting in her car stuck in rush hour traffic. Every song she heard on the radio only made the pain she was feeling from what happened between her and Toby even worse. She had gone through this last year when Danny had left, only for some reason it was even worse now. Probably because although she found it difficult to admit to herself, she was very much in love with Toby. In the weeks since their enforced estrangement they had barely spoken to each other. She missed being able to talk to him. As she thought this the chorus of a song on the radio caught her attention.

It was real...it was magic
It was calm...it was savage
It was cool as a breeze
It was warm to the touch
It was never enough
It was always too much
It did all the things love does
That's how I knew
It was

Okay she thought, thatís just a little bit too sad for me today. She changed the radio dial.

It really doesnít matter how time goes by
Cause I still remember you and I
And that beautiful goodbye

And thatís not any better she thought. She tried another station.

Listen, you know I love you
But I just canít take this
You know I love you
But Iím playing for keeps
Although I need you
Iím not gonna make this
You know I want to
But Iím in too deep.

Okay one more station she thought. Great the one song I *really* donít want to hear. Although she knew the song would make her cry, she couldnít change the station.

My heart canít take take the beating
Not having you to hold
A small voice keeps repeating
Deep inside my soul
It says I canít keep pretending
I donít love you anymore....
My tears no longer waiting
Oh my resistance ainít that strong
But my mind keeps recreating
A love with you alone
And Iím tired of pretending
I donít love you anymore

Okay she thought through her tears I really need to change the station. She changed it too a hard rock station, and listened to it until she got home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Does that blue moon ever shine on you
I want to hold you close to me
Feel just like it used to be
And baby if you feel like I do
You can come to me
Does that blue moon ever shine on you

Toby knew that the lyrics of the song were true as he listened to it, and loaded the dishes into the dishwasher. He had been in a very foul mood when he got home. He had decided that he didnít really want to improve the mood, so he loaded the CD player with depressing music.

And Iíve been trying to get over you
Iíve been spending time alone
And Iíve been trying to get over you
But itíll take dying to get it done

Then the next song started to play, and he thought back to the day that Leo issued his ultimatum.

We canít deny that this oneís
Out of our control
Stronger than the both of us
And bound to take its toll

I can stand the test of time
And as far as I can see
There are no walls that we canít climb
Standiní between you and me

But Iíll go on with my life
We can even say goodbye for now if
If thatís what we have to do
But here in my heart
When my arms are empty darliní
Iím still holdiní on to you

There were times when he woke up at night, and just for a moment he felt CJ was still there. He knew that he had programmed the songs into the player in reverse order. It went from bad to worse, and the worst was still to come.

As I watch you move across the moonlit room
Thereís so much tenderness in your loving
Tomorrow I must leave
The dawn knows no reprieve
God give me strength when I am leaving...

So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That weíll be back together someday

Tonight I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness

As we move to embrace
Tears run down your face
I whisper words of love, so softly
I canít believe this pain
Itís driving me insane
Without your touch life will be lonely


So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That weíll be back together someday

Tonight I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness

Morning has come another day
I must pack my bags and say goodbye...

The song that always reminded him of the night he and CJ had spent together. Why he played it he didnít know. Maybe he liked the torture of the memories. But he didnít need the song to remind him. Although, he had told her that night that he would not give Leo, or anyone else the satisfaction of resigning. He wondered if that was the right decision.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Good morning, sir." Leo said to the President as he walked into the Oval Office.

"Good morning. How long do you have until the staff meeting?"

"About half an hour. Why?"

"Good thereís something I want to talk to you about."

"What?"

"Well, Iíve heard some rumors about something that happened a few weeks ago. On the Florida trip to be exact."

"Mr. President..."

"Okay, what I heard, and by the way I canít believe you would do this. Apparently, two of the staff, the Communications Director and Press Secretary to be precise, were having a personal relationship. Is that much true?"

"Yes, they were."

"Well, I guess the fact that it is over would explain the moods the that CJ and Toby have been in lately. So I guess that the part I heard about you issuing an ultimatum to them was true, also?"

"I wouldnít call it an ultimatum, sir."

"Really, I would. Why the hell would you think you could meddle in the staffís personal lives. And another thing this is twice that youíve done this to CJ. You did the same thing when the video of her and Danny Concannon aired on Hard Copy last year."

"When the personal lives could cost us politically, you can damn well believe Iím going to meddle. And for the other thing that was a legitmate concern, Concannon is a reporter. CJ is the White House Press Secretary there is a legitmate concern about her dating a reporter."

"Okay, Iíll admit that there was a concern about her and Danny. But I have one question for you concerning Toby and CJ. Are you even *listening* to yourself?!"

"What the hell does that mean?!"

"The end of your own marriage has taught you nothing has it. Happiness is hard to find. Why begrudge it to those that find it."

"Sir..." As Leo was speaking the phone on the Presidentís desk rang.

"Yes, Mrs. Landingham. I see. When did it happen. Which one. Okay. Thank you Iíll take care of it myself. Could you please find out from Carol if CJ is in yet. Thank you Mrs. Landingham."

"Whatís going on, sir?" Leo asked.

"Toby was in a car accident. I donít know how serious yet. If you donít let CJ handle this anyway she wants to, then you and I are going to have words my friend. Iím going to go tell her now. If she wants to go to the hospital, Iím going to ask Josh to drive her."

"Yes, sir.

 

to be continued...

 

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