Disclaimers: The West Wing and it's characters are the
property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers and NBC. No
copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being
made from this The song "Anytime" is the property of
Brian McKnight and his record label. No copyright
infringement is intended there either.
Rating: G
Author's Note: Thanks to AJ for beta reading this. So
I listened to this song once last night and it got
stuck in my head. This is the result
Summary: Toby reminisces about his relationship with
CJ and their breakup.
I can't remember why we fell apart
From something that was so meant to be.
Forever was the promise in our hearts.
Now more and more, I wonder where you are.
Toby walked the dark hallway of his new apartment. It
was taking some getting used to, but he knew
eventually he would feel at home here. He had never
believed he would be back in New York. It wasn't being
back in New York that was bothering him, it was the
situation that brought him back to his hometown that
was tearing him apart.
He had not believed getting involved with CJ would
cost him this much in the end. It had started very
casually. Maybe that had been when the mistake was
made. They had decided from the beginning that there
would be no strings attached. They were happy for
awhile, then something happened. She had started to
withdraw from him. Finally one night, she decided she
couldn't take it anymore. They had argued so much that
night In the end she had left, and he hadn't tried to
stop her.
Do I ever cross your mind anytime?
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me?
Do I ever cross your mind anytime?
I miss you...
He quickly discovered he missed her more than he
thought humanly possible. There were many nights when
he would dream she was still there and would wake up
reaching for her, only to be confronted by the stark
reality of her absence. It the only thing that was
more difficult than that was seeing her in a work
capacity. It became too difficult, and since he seemed
to be the one having the problem with the situation it
seemed only fair that he be the one to quit. So now he
found himself back in New York, getting ready to start
a teaching job. He would miss the political arena, and
Toby knew he would eventually go back to it. That
would happen later, when the pain wasn't so fresh and
he was ready to see CJ again.
Still have your picture in a frame.
Hear your footsteps down the hall.
I swear, I hear you voice driving me insane.
How I wish that you would call to say...
As he was putting things up, he found a photo of him
and CJ in happier times. It shocked him how happy they
looked. Maybe life here would be easier on him. There
would be no reminders of her around the apartment, he
thought as he put the photo in a drawer. In Washington
there had been times he was certain he could hear her
key turning the lock, but it was never true. Toby had
wondered if she would come and say she had changed her
mind. Most of all he dreamed of hearing CJ say she
loved him, but he knew that would never happen.
Do I ever cross your mind anytime?
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me?
Do I ever cross your mind anytime?
I miss you...
He thought of CJ almost every waking moment. He often
wondered if she thought of him, but he was almost
certain she did not. Their breakup had not seemed to
effect her as much as it had him. It had not seemed to
effect her at all. When they became involved they had
said there would be no strings attached. He couldn't
help but wonder if she had realized he was in love
with her, and if ultimately he had lost her because he
loved her.
The end.
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