Disclaimers: The West Wing and it's characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: CJ and Toby deal with their relationship becoming public knowledge.
Author's Note: I would like to thank cherryice and AJ for helping me with some of the ideas in this story. I would also like to thank AJ for reading the first third of it to make sure it made since.
Somehow, they had managed to keep their relationship secret for the last nine months. CJ really thought that Donna knew something had changed between her and Toby, but Donna had never directly asked. Josh, on the other hand had asked, but he had asked if she and Danny had gotten together after the shooting. She had denied it, but CJ really didn't think Josh had believed her. She often wondered why they had kept it secret for so long, or even how they had achieved that monumental achievement. Maybe they were still being secretive because they were afraid of the changes going public would bring?
CJ stood quietly watching Toby as he sat on her couch. He was typing on his laptop, and had not realized she was standing there yet. She walked up behind him and kissed his cheek.
"What are you working on?" She asked.
"The speech he is going to give when President Arkayev comes for his state visit." Toby answered.
"You have heard the latest on him right?" CJ asked.
"What do you mean?"
"His engagement to a prominent member of the Russian Parliament, Daria Gatchina."
"Yeah, nice piece of gossip, but it doesn't really matter."
"Really, I think it is intriguing."
"Yes, it shows that a high profile couple can make it."
"And I think I know where you are going with this." Toby said.
"Oh, you do?"
"And where am I going with this?"
"You are thinking that since their relationship can survive this type of public scrutiny, then so can ours."
"That was what I was thinking."
"It's two different situations."
"I know that."
"He can close the press down if he wants to." Toby said.
"Yes, he can. He is also more high profile than we are."
"It would pass in a day or so you know. We would only be in the papers for a little while. Then they would find us exceedingly boring and leave us alone." CJ said.
"You're not ready for us to go public are you?"
"Why not?" CJ asked.
"I'm just not."
"Do you ever stop to think how I feel about this?" CJ asked.
"I love you, and I think that you know that. I want to be able to go out to dinner with you, and not have it masquerade as a business dinner. I want our friends to know that we are together and be happy for us." CJ said. "When we were together all those years ago, everyone knew. What the hell is so damn different this time?"
"CJ it's a different situation this time."
"Because we are working in the White House, not on a losing gubernatorial campaign?"
"Yes, because we work in the White House."
"CJ, I do love you." Toby said.
"You have a damn funny way of showing it sometimes." CJ said bitterly.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You're smart I'm certain you can figure it out!"
"Fine, if that's the way you want it!" Toby looked at her for a second, then turned without a word and stormed over to the door. He grabbed his coat out of the closet, and slammed the door on his way out.
CJ leaned back against the cushions, and covered her face with her hands. Why did she let him do this to her? He was able to get under her skin more than anyone else ever had. The depth of her feelings for him scared her sometimes. Actually they scared her most of the time.
By the time he had gotten back to his apartment, Toby had calmed down. It had not been the first time that he and CJ had fought. They both had very fiery personalities, and it was inevitable that they would fight some. But this was the worst fight they have had so far. He was a little frightened of their relationship becoming public. Everything was going well for them, and he was worried things would change if it went public. He didn't want to lose her.
The next day, the tension between CJ and Toby could be cut with a knife. No one was able to figure out what was going on with them. Everything had been fine when they had left the office the day before, and now they were at each other's throats.
"So what do you think is going on with them?" Josh asked Sam after the morning staff meeting.
"Who?" Sam asked.
"Toby and CJ."
"Lover's quarrel I guess." Sam replied.
"What?! They're not lovers, Sam." Josh cried.
"Yeah they are. They just don't want any of us to know."
"I think you're wrong."
"I'm not." Sam said.
"Okay, what are you basing this brilliant deduction on?" Josh asked.
"You haven't noticed the looks that pass between them?"
"Okay, Toby has also taken off his wedding ring."
"That doesn't mean he is sleeping with CJ." Josh said.
"Well I think they are together." Sam said.
"There's no proof of that."
"It's just a feeling I have." Sam said.
"Okay." Josh said looking at Sam like he was an idiot.
Toby stopped outside of CJ's office for a moment. He looked in and saw that she was in there. He thought of going in and speaking to her, but he knew it would not be a good idea to do so at work. As he was starting to walk away, CJ noticed that he was there, and motioned for him to come in.
"Are you certain this is wise?" Toby asked from the doorway.
"Probably not." CJ said. "But come in anyway."
"We can't go on like this." CJ said softly.
"I know that." Toby said as he sat down on the side of her desk. "I missed you last night." He said softly.
"I missed you too. I really hate fighting with you."
" I hate fighting with you too. Then why do you do it?"
"Because you infuriate me. Which is the same reason you fight with me."
"Yeah. We need to talk about this." Toby said.
"I don't think it is wise to talk about our personal relationship here." Toby said.
"Probably not." CJ agreed.
"Damn." Toby said looking around and noticing that the door was open.
"What?" CJ asked.
"I wish that door where closed."
"Because I really want to kiss you right now." Toby said.
"If you come by my apartment tonight, you could probably kiss me then." CJ teased.
"Hi." CJ said as she opened the door to her apartment and let Toby in. "Why didn't you use your key?"
"I decided it would be better to knock."
"I believe you promised me something earlier today." Toby said.
"Yeah I did." CJ said kissing him lightly on the lips.
"I know that wasn't the kind of kiss you wanted, but that can come later. We need to talk."
"What are you afraid of if we go public?" CJ asked.
"CJ, I don't know."
"Yes you do. What is it?"
Toby looked at her for a moment, battling within his mind as to whether or not he should answer her. Finally he said. "I'm afraid it will change things between us."
"That things won't be as good between us."
"Toby, nothing is going to change with us. We've made it nine months. I happen to think we are very solid. I'm not planning on going anywhere. I have what I want, and I have no plans of losing you."
"I have no plans of losing you either." Toby said.
"Then we have nothing to worry about." CJ said.
"Okay." CJ said. "You know you could kiss me now, if you want to."
"I could?" Toby asked drawing her into his arms.
"Yes." CJ said just before Toby kissed her. "You are planning on staying with me tonight?"
"I slept alone last night. I don't want to tonight." CJ said and then kissed him
"Neither do I." Toby said as he laid her against the cushions on the couch.
The ringing of the phone woke CJ up around three o'clock that morning.
"I'm going to kill whomever is on the other end of that line." CJ said.
"Just answer it. I would but I don't think we want anyone to know that I'm here at three o'clock."
"Yeah." CJ said as she picked up the phone. "Hello. Wait hold on a second." CJ said and got up. She started to walk into the living room. "You're kidding me right. Please tell me you are kidding me. Okay, you're not. Is he going to run it? Yeah. I know. Okay. Listen thanks I know you didn't have to do this. I am. Thank you. Bye."
By the time she hung up the phone CJ was sitting on the couch, with legs drawn up so her head was resting on her knees. "This is not happening. I'm going to wake it, and it will have been a dream."
"What is it, sweetheart?" Toby asked as he sat down on the couch beside her.
"There's a story that is going to come out tomorrow."
"Toby, it's about us."
"Apparently, Dennis Jamieson of the Boston Globe is running a piece in tomorrow's paper that states that two senior White House staffers are involved in a personal relationship."
"It doesn't name us by name?"
"No, but it's not too hard to figure out. It could only be you and me. I have to call Leo."
"It's three and it won't run in today's paper. Just tell him when we go into work tomorrow." Toby said.
"Yeah, I guess I could wait." CJ said as Toby put his arms around her.
"Come back to bed. Okay."
"Yeah." CJ said.
"Who called and told you?"
"Danny, he heard Dennis talking in a bar tonight."
"Okay, it was nice of him to call you."
"Yeah it was." CJ said. She turned and put her arms around him. "I love you."
"I love you too." Toby said and kissed her.
"Margaret does Leo have a minute?" CJ asked the next morning.
"Yeah, go on in."
Leo looked up when CJ knocked on the door. "Yeah?"
"We've got a small situation."
"There is going to be an article in the Boston Globe tomorrow, that states two members of the Senior Staff are having a personal relationship."
"Okay, do we know who they are talking about?"
"The article does not name any names."
"Who are the insinuating?" Leo asked.
"They don't come out and say. But I can tell you who it is."
"Who is it?"
"Toby and I." CJ answered softly.
"How long has this been going on?" Leo asked.
"Since just after the assassination attempt."
"Are the two of you happy?"
"Then that's all that matters. The White House does not comment on the personal lives of the staff."
CJ went to Toby's office after leaving Leo's office.
"Leo is fine with it. He said, and I quote, The White House does not comment on the personal lives of the staff."
"He's happy for us."
"Yeah, so how are we going to tell everyone else?"
"I don't know." As Toby was speaking Sam walked in.
"Hey, what's going on?" Sam asked.
CJ looked at Toby before answering. "Toby and I were just discussing how there is going to be an article tomorrow about our personal relationship is going to be all over the papers tomorrow."
"You have a personal relationship?" Sam asked.
"Yes." Toby said.
"How long?" Sam asked.
"Since just after the assassination attempt." CJ answered.
"I'll have to tell Josh I was right. I told him yesterday that you were dating." Sam said and left.
"That wasn't too hard." Toby said.
"No." CJ agreed. "I should get back to work."
"Wait." Toby said getting up.
"What?" CJ asked as he slipped his arms around her.
"I love you." Toby said and kissed her.
"Love you too. We're going to be fine."
"Yeah." Toby said as he watched her walk away.