See part 1 for disclaimer

I would like to thank AJ for some of the ideas in this part and in future parts. And also for beta reading this.

"What the hell was what?!" CJ shouted back

"I quote, I think the explanation and intentions of Mr. Zieglerís statements are self explanatory. What was that?"

"That was exactly how I feel."

"Really?"

"And so you felt the need to go in front of the press and say that?"

"Yes, do you have a problem with that?" CJ shouted back at him.

"Why the hell did you do that? What was going on in your mind? If anything at all!"

"What?!"

"It couldnít have been more explanatory? You didnít say how you feel. Youíre on the fence as usual." Toby said very sarcastically.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Youíre always on the fence you never take a stand on issues. Unless itís the stand we tell you to take."

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"So, you think I donít take a stand on issues?" CJ said getting up from the chair she had been sitting in, and standing directly in front of him.

"You donít!"

"Okay." CJ didnít feel that ridiculous accusation deserved a better response.

"And another thing..." Toby started to say.

"What?!" CJ interrupted.

"You could have supported me some in Leoís office earlier. It would have been nice to have the support of my *wife*."

"The support of your *wife*, that just sounds so arcane. If I felt you were *right*, you would have my support."

"You donít feel I was right?"

"What is feeling you are right all the time a condition of being married to you?"

"No!"

"Well, youíre certainly making it sound like it is."

"No, Iím not!"

"You could have fooled me!" CJ cried.

"Really?"

"Yes, you could have." CJ replied.

"This is not going well." Toby said to himself.

"Did you expect it to, when you came in here shouting at me?" CJ asked, shaking her head at the absurdity of what he had just said.

"You shouted too!"

"You started it. Did you expect me not to raise my voice or something?"

"Yes!"

"Oh, so you can raise your voice and I canít?"

"Thatís not what I meant."

"You implied it."

"Itís still not what I meant."

"I donít care you implied it."

ĎíCJ..."

"No, *donít* say anything else. Just go I canít take any more of this." When she saw Toby start to move closer to her, she shouted. "No, just GO!"

Toby took one last look at CJ, opened the door and left. He slamed the door as he left.

After he left, CJ sat down on the couch, and tried to collect her scattered thoughts. Okay weíve now had our first fight, she thought. Itís wasnít that bad. Okay, who am I trying to fool, it was awful. She thought as she reached for a kleenex to wipe the tears from her eyes. Okay, where do we go from here? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Toby walked quickly back to his office. Why did I do that, he thought. We never fight. We were even talking about how we never fight a few days ago. I guess thatís no longer true. Weíve had a fight now. Okay, there has to be some way to get over this. Other people fight, and get over it. Thatís what we have to do. Okay, now how do we do that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Josh came into CJís office a little later, and found her still sitting on the couch. He sat down beside her.

"That bad." He remarked after getting a good look at her tearstained face.

"Yeah, I guess you heard most of it."

"I couldnít help it."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry about that."

"Donít worry about it. You okay?"

"Not really."

"I didnít think so. You want to talk about it?"

"I donít know. You know whatís funny?"

"What?"

"That was the first real fight weíve had."

"Youíre kidding me."

"No, I'm not. Weíve argued before. But most of those have been very playful."

"What started this?"

"The statement I made during the briefing. I was defending him, I was being supportive. He doesnít see it that way though."

"You were a little ambiguous, CJ."

"Josh..."

"Iím not starting anything with you."

"I know that I guess Iím just a little defensive right now. Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah."

"How do you get over a fight?"

"Iím afraid thatís something you and Toby will have to figure out on your own. Donít worry youíll work through it. You love each other too much not too."

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A couple of hours later CJ was ready to go home, and she went to the residence to pick up Meghan.

"You donít look good CJ." Abbey said. "Whatís going on?"

"Toby and I got into a fight over the briefing."

"I see. How bad?"

"It was very bad." CJ said.

"Okay, youíre dreading going home?"

"Yeah, heís still mad."

"And youíre not?"

"I really donít know what I am right now."

"Okay. I really donít know what to say. Except you will work through this. He thinks he doesnít have your support doesnít he?" Abbey asked.

"Yeah, he does. I told him not to let her bait him. And what does he do, he lets her bait him." CJ said.

"CJ, you should have known that would happen."

"I did, I never thought him doing the interview was a good idea. But Leo didnít listen."

"Yeah, well thatís over with."

"I know the problem now the question is how to fix this professionally and personally."

"Youíll do it."

"Yeah, I hope so." CJ sighed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

The apartment was quiet when CJ got home. The living room and the other front rooms were dark. She found the light in Tobyís office on, and she sat Meghan down and let her walk in.

Toby was sitting staring at computer when he felt Meghan pull on his jacket. He looked down and picked her up. "I didnít get to spend that much time with you today, did I?" He smiled as Meghan shook her head no. "Iím sorry about that. Looks like Daddy did something stupid today. Two things actually, and I donít know how to fix either of them. And you donít really understand any of this. Come on," he said getting up, "letís go find Mommy."

CJ was in the kitchen, fixing some coffee when Toby walked in with Meghan.

"CJ" he said softly.

"Yeah, oh do you want me to take her."

"No, sheís fine. Look, I...about today..."

"I donít want to talk about it."

"Okay." He said and sat Meghan in the high chair and started to feed her.

CJ stood there and watched him with Meghan, "why did I do that she thought, we need to talk about this. I guess Iím just afraid it will turn into another fight, and I donít want to fight in front of Meghan. But this tension canít be good for her either." She thought. CJ turned and left the room.

Toby watched her go. "Sheís probably right it wouldnít be good to talk about it right now. Weíd just get into another fight. I donít want Meghan to see us fighting, but she has to sense the tension between us." He thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ was sitting on the couch later when Toby came in. They hadnít spoken since theyíd been in the kitchen hours earlier.

"CJ."

"Yeah."

"Iím going to sleep in the guest room tonight. Good night."

"Whatever."

When she heard Toby walking away she drew her feet onto the couch, rested her head on her knees and cried. She didnít hear Toby walk to the doorway and she didnít know that he stood there for awhile watching her. "I thought it would be easier on her if I did that." Toby thought as he watched her cry, he wanted to go to her but didnít think she would let him comfort her. "If sheís so upset with me , why is she crying? I should leave her alone, thatís probably what she wants." He thought and walked away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CJ was unable to sleep that night, finally she gave up. She looked into the guest bedroom and saw that Toby was sleeping. She stood and watched him for a few minutes. "How is it that he is sleeping and Iím not. Iíve gotten so used to him being there. I canít seem to sleep without him." She wondered. "Thereís nothing I can do about that now. I have to give this time. I donít know how to do that though. I really want nothing more than to lay down beside Toby, but heís so angry I donít think he would want me to. I should go." She thought. She walked over to the bed and sat down. CJ lightly brushed her hand against Tobyís cheek, she then kissed him. As she was walking out of the room CJ stopped and looked back at Toby. "You may not believe it right now, Toby, but I really do love you. With all my heart and soul I love you." She whispered. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby woke up around 3 a.m. He could have sworn that he had felt CJ sitting on the bed beside him, but he knew that could not have been true. She was still so angry that there was no way she would have done that. But it had been a pleasant dream. He got up and looked in on Meghan, who was sleeping peacefully. Then he walked into his office. But that was not really where he wanted to be, so he left after a couple of minutes. He walked back into the bedroom, the one he normally shared with CJ. He stood watching her for a few minutes. She always looked so peaceful when she was asleep. He had noticed that so long ago. But when CJ had been hospitalized the first time while she was pregnant with Meghan, he had really noticed. Even with everything that was going on then, she had looked so peaceful when she was sleeping. She looked the same way now. He walked over to the bed an sat down beside her. He gently brushed the hair back from her forehead, and then kissed her. Getting up he walked back to the door. "Sleep well, Claudia Jean," he thought, "although I know you donít want to hear this right now, I love you."

 

Please Forgive Me - 4

 

 

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