The West Wing and it's characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made from this.

Rating: G

Summary: Toby and CJ's first date

Author's Note: This story was written for the fanfiction challenge on qdaman's site. It is about Toby and CJ's first date. This story is not connected to the other stories I have written. It is also loosely based on the song "What If I Said" by Anita Cochran and Steve Wariner. I should warn you that the first part of the story is written from CJ's POV and the second part from Toby's POV.

************* indicates the beginning and ending of a flashback.

Why is it someone who is completely removed from a situation can see it so much more clearly than those directly involved." CJ Cregg wondered for what must have been the millionth time in the last few months.

"I know it is really none of my business, so why do I feel so compelled to get involved." She wondered aloud.

"Great now Iíve taken to talking to myself." She thought. This is really driving me crazy."

She got up from her couch, were she had been sitting, and decided to go for a drive.


It had all started just after the assassination attempt. In the chaotic weeks following the attempt, Toby and his ex-wife Andrea Wyatt had reconciled. Everyone in the West Wing had been happy that they had gotten back together. The general consensus was that the divorce was what had caused Toby to be so, well moody. It was believed that once he and Andrea were back together that would change. And it had, for about a month. Then his moods had become even blacker than they had been before the shooting. No one knew why. Until the state dinner for the Prime Minister of India. Andrea had accompanied Toby to the dinner.

It had been so shocking to see Toby speechless. In fact no one really thought it could be done. Well, he wasnít exactly speechless, but neither had he been his normal talkative self. Andrea managed to monopolized the conversation. CJ who was seated at the same table as Toby and Andrea, as were the rest of the senior staff, had been shocked. In the two and a half years she had know him, she had never seen Toby so quiet, or so miserable. And she had been around him when he and Andrea were finalizing the divorce. "Why is it so clear to me that she doesnít love him?" She had thought. "I mean it is clear that she could not possibly love him." She wondered if maybe, she should try to talk to him.

CJ went back in forth for days trying to decide if she should approach Toby about what she had observed at the state dinner. Finally, she decided to bite the bullet and talk to him.

"Hey, can I come in?" CJ asked from the doorway to Tobyís office.

"Yeah, whatíd you need?" He said

"I just wanted to talk to you?"

"About what?" He asked quizzically

"I was wondering how you are?"

"How I am?" He said. "Why?"

"Am I not allowed to be concerned about a friend?"


"I see. So you see an ulterior motive everytime someone tries to be nice to you?"

"Yes, and I have work to do so..."


CJ got up and left Tobyís office. As she was walking back to her own office, she said to herself. "Well, that went really well."

The weeks went on, and Toby seemed to get even worse and worse. Finally, CJ and Toby were working late one night on a statement the President was supposed to give the next day. He had been irritable and combative the entire week, and she was sick of it. Toby said one thing too many to her and CJ blew up at him.

"Just because you and Andrea are miserable, does not mean you have to take it out on everyone who is unfortunate enough to work with you! Do you understand what Iím saying?!" When CJ had finished speaking she had been shouting at him.

"What the hell makes you think Andrea and I are miserable! And what gives you the right to stick your nose in my personal business?!" He shouted in reply.

"Because whatever the hell it is youíre feeling, you are taking it out on me at the moment! And I have to tell you that I donít like it one damn bit."

"Iím taking something out on you?"


Toby sat down on the couch, and ran his hand over his eyes. He looked up at CJ, who was standing by his desk. "You really think that Iím taking my problems out on you?"

"Yeah, me, Sam, Josh, Ginger , Bonnie, and pretty much anyone else unfortunate enough to be in your path." CJ said looking him in the eyes as she spoke.

"Youíre probably right?"

"Probably?" She said in an astonished voice.

"Okay, you are right."

"Okay, now weíre getting somewhere."

"We are?"


"And where are we getting to?"

"The truth about whatís going on with you."

"The truth about whatís going on with me?"


"Youíre not going to give up?"

"No." CJ laughed.

Toby sat staring at CJ for a few minutes before speaking. "You were right before."

"About what?"

"Andrea and I are having problems."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Okay, listen if you ever do want to talk about it. Iím here."

"Thanks CJ."

Over the next few weeks Tobyís disposition did improve. CJ didnít know if that was because the situation between him and Andrea was getting better, or if it was because he was making a conscientious effort to be civil to those he was working with. One night when she was working late, CJ found out the answer.

"Got a minute?" Toby said before coming into CJís office.

"Yeah, come in." CJ replied getting up from behind her desk, and sitting beside Toby on the couch.

"Is your offer still open?"

"What offer?"

"If I needed anyone to talk to."

"Yeah, whatís going on?"

"Andrea and I...well we ended it."

"Iím sorry."

"Itís probably for the best. We never should have gotten back together in the first place. You know when things end with someone you seem to remember the good times. I guess that was why things were fine the first month or so. We werenít getting on each others nerves yet."

"And after that you did?"

"I guess we remembered the reason we divorced in the first place. In the end we were making each other miserable again. So we decided to end it before we grew to hate each other."

"I really am sorry. If there is anything I can do?"

"It actually is good to have someone to talk to. If that doesnít bother you too much?"

"Itís no bother. My door is open anytime you need to talk. And you know my phone number."


CJ smiled to herself as she got out of her car after the drive. Toby had come by to talk to her very often. Everyone else thought that the breakup with Andrea had been hard on him. CJ knew different, it had really been a relief to him after all of the fighting they had done. She often found herself wondering if there wasnít something growing between her and Toby. She pushed that thought to the back of her mind. She was happily dating Danny. Still she wondered what would have happened if Toby had shown any interest in her before Danny had.


What If I Said - 2



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