Well, I'm back with my short story thingy. Hope you all like.
Disclaimer: I don't own em.
* * *
I've been doing some thinking. Not that that's a good or bad thing. I've just had some time on my hands and I decided that I needed to think about something. Now, at first, I began to think about my relationship with my husband, but that got me nowhere. Then, I began on my relationship with my son and that hit a road block.
And then I thought about the relationship I have with myself and I'm *still* thinking.
It's hard, when you get down to the core of it, that some of us really don't know ourselves. I always thought of myself as an independent woman who had a wonderful family and was caring towards others.
Sometimes it hurts to see what's really inside of you. I found I have no social life. I'm an at home mother, though I do have a degree in the Arts. But, during the race, they decided that that image wouldn't 'sell', so they made me an at home mother which took awhile to get used to. I'm so used to being behind the curtain, grinning as they put on my production.
And to say the only time I've ever felt stage fright was when I went in front of all the people I know.
Hmmpf, that's what happens to me. I can go in front of total strangers and be calm, but put me with old friends or just people that I know, and I clam up. Odd.
A man, a small, beautiful man, once told me that I was wonderful. He also told me to reach for my dreams and never let go of the moon when I finally had it in the palm of my hand.
Guess what? I let go. Damn it all to hell, I did. Stupid of me, wasn't it?
John told me that the man, my mentor, was crazy and that he didn't know what he was talking about. How wrong of my husband to say such a thing! That's the difference between us. He leads with his left brain, I lead with my right.
My life, not crumbling anymore, but going in an upwards motion, is starting to make me dizzy. I try, I really do, to be the person that I'm supposed to be. But I want to be that person behind the curtain again, directing people what to do, help them with their lines. It's in my blood, the little man told me.
My father once told me I had a traveling soul. 'You can't stay in one place. Always moving, ain't ya Tabi?' He'd then grin and tell me to keep going.
I've been in the same place too long. I've been standing behind a white curtain, and it's time for me to go behind that black curtain again.
* * *
Well, what did y'all think? Was it good or no? Oh, do tell, please!