RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: I don't own "The West Wing" or related characters. They
belong to
Aaron Sorkin and whoever pays him for his genius."Don't Run Away"
belongs to
Zarry Teeger. If you know who Zarry Teeger is, I congratulate you.
NOTES: Another Alternate Universe story exploring the What ifs. Yes, this was
also written in less than an hour, unless you count the ten hour break I took
to sleep.
SHOUT OUT: Dallas again helped me with this. She also didn't know that I was
writing this one, but I think she may be getting used to it. :) Dallas is a
great writer and she needs to write more!! Thanks Dee!
SUMMARY: After years of running away, what if KD couldn't stop?
KD stared at the stars. She was standing on the gravel rooftop of her
apartment building, just wondering where everything was going and where
everything had been. She felt out of place. She didn't belong in one place
for more than six months at a time. Today, she'd stood in Toby Ziegler's
office and felt his lips pressed against hers. She'd slipped her arms around
him and held him close as they explored each other's mouths. What the hell
did that mean?
Below the building, Toby paced in front of the steps leading up to the
glass doors. He wanted to call her, ring the bell, do something. He wanted to
make sure that he hadn't crossed the line. He looked at the bell and then up
at the stars for guidance. Instead he saw KD's face looking down at him.
Their eyes connected for a moment, and Toby suddenly saw fear in her.
"Can I come up?" He called. She hesitated and then disappeared. A
moment
later she reappeared at the edge and dropped something down to him. Toby
looked at the keys that had clattered to the sidewalk. He walked over, picked
them up and then headed back for the door. He went inside and took the
elevator straight to the stop, finding the stairs that led to the rooftop. He
pushed open the door to find her staring at the stars.
"They're beautiful." She whispered, not looking at him. He sensed the
hesitation in her voice. What was she thinking?
"Yeah, they are." He said softly as he moved towards her. She looked
at
him, and again he saw fear in her eyes. He moved forward and slipped his
hands around her cheeks. She bit her lip as a tear came to her eye. "What's
wrong?" He asked softly. "Do you regret what we did?"
"No." She whispered, shaking her head weakly. "No, not
regret."
"But?" He asked.
"I don't know what it could mean." She admitted softly. "I'm not
the
right person for you, Toby. I've got all this baggage, this past that won't
leave me alone. You deserve so much better."
"That's my decision to make, and in my eyes, there is nothing better."
He
replied softly as he watched her carefully.
Don't run away from me
Please, don't you leave
We finally found each other
And I can't stand to lose you now
You don't have to run away
You don't have to face the past
You're with me now, that's all that matters
The future's all we need
"I want to believe you, ya know?" She said softly as she started
move
away from him. "It's been ten years since I've felt this way, and even
then,
I felt nothing like this." She admitted quietly. Toby stood where he was,
hurt that she'd moved away. He was pouring his heart out to her and she
wasn't seeing it.
"Katy, believe me. I want to be there for you. Why is this so hard?"
He
asked. She looked at him with tears in her eyes.
"For ten years, I've been running away, Toby. I've never stayed in the
same place for too long. I've not been kissed by a man in ten years, until
you came along, and I got swept away in the moment." She explained weakly.
"I
don't know how to sit still, and I don't know how to keep you happy. I don't
know that I can do it. I'm such a mixed-up person, Toby, and you deserve
someone who's halfway sane." She added before biting her lip.
"Why? I'm not even a fraction of that sane." He whispered as he
started
walking towards her again. She closed her eyes and then looked at her feet.
He paused and then took her face in his hands again. "And if you think I'm
going to let you get away that easy, you're gravely mistaken." He
whispered.
She smiled at him and shook her head.
"You are insane, aren't you?" She asked softly. He nodded and kissed
her
deeply. She reciprocated, holding him close and allowing herself to feel the
things that she needed to feel.
I know that fear is powerful
I know you want to run
I know that's what you're used to
But I'm telling you this is right
No more running, no more retreat
You have to trust me now
This is what we need
"Toby." She whispered as he began to kiss her neck. "I need
you to teach
me, you know that?" He looked into her eyes and nodded.
"I will." He whispered. "You don't have to run anymore,
Katy."
"I never had to." She whispered. "But my feet did."
"Then I'll nail them to the ground." He replied in all seriousness.
She
laughed and buried her face in his shoulder. He held her tight against his
chest and breathed in her presence. He felt her shake in his grasp and he
held her all the tighter. "I'm here, Katy. I'm not leaving, and I'm not
letting you leave."
"Toby..." She whispered, holding him tight. "I believe
you." He closed
his eyes and rested his chin on her head.
"Good." He whispered and then looked into her eyes. The tears were
still
there, but the fear had lessened.
"Why do I deserve you?" She asked him softly as she looked back into
his
eyes. He smiled weakly and stroked her cheek with his thumb before kissing
her gently on the lips and resting his forehead against hers.
"You? The most amazing woman I've ever met? The one with a wonderful
right hook?" He teased. She blushed and started to look away, but he
wouldn't
let her. He kept her eyes on his. "You make me feel complete, Katy. You're
the most amazing, wonderful person I've ever met, and I love you. I want to
be there to love you, and I want you to let me." He said softly. She stared
into his eyes and then nodded, holding him closer.
"I love you too." She whispered. Toby's heart swelled a little.
"It's
almost scary, but I do. And what's even scarier is that these days, I don't
feel safe or right without you nearby." Toby's heart swelled even more as
he
held her close and pressed his lips to her own.
Don't run away
Don't give up now
You and I are here
Together at last
Just look to the future
Just forego the past
I think I know I love you
So don't run away from me
"I'm here for you, Katy." Toby whispered as he held her close. She
rested
her head on his shoulder and then looked into his eyes.
"I'm glad. Thank you." She whispered back before kissing him again.
The
kiss began to grow as he held her tightly. The passion grew, as did the heat,
as they held each other close. Finally they parted for air, but not for long
as Toby felt her lips pressed against his neck.
"Katy..." He whispered. She looked into his eyes.
"Stay here tonight?" She asked softly. He stared into her eyes, trying
to
understand.
"Maybe we should take this slow." He whispered, praying for a voice of
reason.
"I wasn't asking for that." She corrected him. "I just don't want
to be
alone tonight. Please just, come in, and hold me. Please?" She pleaded. He
smiled and nodded, drawing her close.
"I'd love to." He whispered as he buried his face in her hair. She
hugged
him tight, kissed his neck tenderly and then just rested her face in his
chest. Together they just stood under the stars, holding each other tightly.
You can't run away now
You won't give up now
You'll stay here, I'll show you how
You're not retreating, you're staying
I feel you near as you are saying
You're not running away
You're not running away
KD led Toby down the stairs to her apartment, her hand clenched in his.
He followed her into the small place and moved with her as she never let him
go. A few moments later, they crawled into the bed and rested in each other's
arms. Toby held her close as they rested against the sheets, his fingers
stroking her hair and watching her sleep.
As he slowly fell asleep, the thought occurred to him that she would be
able to stop running. He also knew that if she tried to run away, he'd find
her again and just hold her tightly.
As KD slept in his arms, she dreamt of a world she'd never dreamt of
before. She dreamt of a world where she was happy, safe and warm. She dreamt
she was in Toby's arms forever, snuggling into his side when she needed him.
And she needed him. This she knew. She also knew that there was a time to
stop running, and now was the time.
THE END... .
~ D.C.
Batman
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