RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, except for KD Brody and David Beckwith. The
song "If you're gone" does not belong to me, it belongs to Matchbox Twenty.
Can anyone tell that I'm a Matchbox Twenty fan? :)
NOTES: Thanks for the lack of death threats. This story takes place about
three months after "Separate Lives" which took place in late May, so this is
late August. Once again, I'm never sure about the politics of this world so
I'm making it up. Enjoy.

I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone.
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - But I think you're wrong

The West Wing felt silent. One less person around to brighten people's
days had a tendency to create that feeling. KD Brody had often been around to
make fun of people, make them smile, or make them laugh. She wasn't in the
office today. She hadn't been in the office for nearly three months. David
Beckwith sat at his desk, working hard on the fax she'd sent him the night
before. True, she wasn't physically there, but she'd talked to Leo and the
President, and she faxed, emailed and mailed regularly. But what was that to
the purpose? David wanted her there, poking fun at him again.

I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure

Down the hall, Josh Lyman scribbled on the report regarding the release
of the medical research bill the following week, but all he could think about
was the emptiness of the West Wing. He stood and looked out into the hallway.
People were walking fast as usual. People shouted and tossed papers back and
forth. Down the hall, Josh knew Sam was arguing with the Don't Ask Don't Tell
goons, and he also knew that somewhere Leo was trying to convince a senator
that the medical research bill was something worth passing. Josh sighed and
sat down on his couch, trying not to think. But he'd lost a big sister
before, and it seemed almost as if he'd lost a little one now.

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

But Josh wasn't the only one suffering. In another office in the West
Wing, Toby Ziegler stared at the wall. He convinced himself that he was
trying to think about the trip to Dallas that he, Josh and CJ were leaving on
later that evening, but his thoughts had been trouble for the past three
months. He was lonely, and he was grumpy. He turned to his desk and tried to
write. Writing seemed to make him feel better, even if he didn't write well.
He thought of KD a lot, but the thoughts were getting weaker. He tried to
believe that it was out of sight, out of mind and that he'd be fine again
soon.

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

Leo hung up the phone and glanced at his desk. He didn't know what to do
next. He knew the plane was taking off in about five hours, so he had to make
sure that he had something for the staff meeting at four, only he couldn't
find anything they hadn't already gone over dozens of times. Right now he
just felt like sitting still for a few moments. Three months seemed to come
and go so fast, but life had hardly returned to normal. It hadn't even
returned to the normal that was before KD had ever come along. Toby was
grumpier than usual, Josh was quieter than usual, Jed was less energetic, CJ
was more professional, Sam was... Well, Sam was Sam. If anything, Sam was
always was Sam. Leo didn't know what he himself was. He was sad, probably all
of the above. A mixture of the rest of the staff. He talked to KD on the
phone sometimes. He couldn't tell how it was that she felt. He didn't know
for sure that she missed the life she left behind, but he knew it anyway. He
knew her.

I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind

'President of the United States, and I can't even control my own life,'
Jed thought softly. He had a staff full of people who were moping because he
made the decision to let KD disappear into the sunset. Did he make the right
decision? KD still did her job, emailing and phoning in at least once a week.
She'd had some good conversations with a lot of people across the country in
the past few months, making some good observations about what the people
wanted and what the people truly thought of Bartlet's White House. He could
remember just three months ago, they were all laughing and partying and
enjoying each other's company. Toby and KD were making promises to be
together forever, and everything was right with the world. Then something
happened, something nobody understood, and KD was requesting to leave. At
first, Jed couldn't understand it, but now all he knew was that he had
granted her request, based on the promise that she would return. It had been
three months, and no one had seen her face. What could happen now?

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem
I'm feeling

CJ stared at her report and tried to understand what she had to say. She
was leaving for Dallas in five hours and she didn't know what to say to
anyone. She had to get up in front of the Press tomorrow and tell them about
the Medical Research Bill, along with Toby and Josh, but the one thought that
was on everyone's mind was that KD was supposed to be there. The Medical
research was KD's project, and who was CJ to come and take it over? Who were
Josh and Toby to take it over? KD spent her time making the bill perfect,
probably because of what happened with her father so many years ago. Josh had
lost a father, so he believed he could handle the bill in KD's absence.
Still, all CJ could think of was how she wanted KD to be around to help them
out.

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

Danny Concannon was used to many different things. He was used to KD
running away. He was used to CJ shutting him out. He was used to having to
dig for answers. Soon enough, he would be following the three staff members
to Dallas where he would cover the press conference that he knew belonged to
KD. He knew CJ was nervous about the conference, mainly because it belonged
to KD, but the bill was going to the floor next week and they had to get it
done. Right now the principal goal was to get the Texas Senate to recognize
the merits of the bill. The Texan senator said that he would decide his vote
based on the results of his state senate's approval of a similar bill. So CJ,
Josh and Toby were heading out there to Dallas to do their jobs, even though
they all knew that the only reason they were being sent was because KD wasn't
around, and between the three of them, they knew almost everything KD knew.
What one didn't know, one of the other two did, thanks to KD's teachings.
But Danny had a feeling about this trip. As he crossed the hallways
towards CJ's office, he couldn't help but wonder what was going to happen on
this trip. He knew something was, but he didn't know what. It had been three
months and he'd told CJ that KD would be coming home. Now doubt was starting
to fill into everyone's head and people had to deal with the fact that she
might not be coming home. No one wanted to deal with the fact that KD might
not be coming home. Danny didn't want to. He had to before, and he didn't
want to now.

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much
I know it's wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

KD looked at her watch and then slid the key into the ignition. The
engine roared to life, allowing her to back out of the hotel parking lot. She
had covered so much ground in the past three months, she didn't even remember
where she was the week before. She knew where she was heading now, and where
she was heading after that, but the whole thing had just erupted into one big
mess. She was tired of feeling the way she did at the end of every day. By
now she'd gotten to feeling numb instead of anything else. She didn't know
how to feel about anything so she just felt numb.

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

TBC.....
Feedback? Comments? It begins again...

~D.C.
Batman

 

If You're Gone - 2

 

 

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