RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: I don't own "The West Wing" or any related characters. They
belong to Aaron Sorkin and his wondrous co-workers. "Best I ever had" is a
song of Vertical Horizon (I'm on a VH binge) and is not mine.
NOTES: Not a KD fic! OMG! Hehehe. Okay, so I'm a hopeless romantic. This
doesn't mean that I want the show to turn into "The Melrose Wing" but it does
mean that writing this type of stuff is fun.
WARNING: This has Danny/CJ in it with tiny tiny traces of CJ/Toby that will
never ever go anywhere cause I really don't see it. I do however respect
other people's opinions and I thought I should warn those who despise the
redhead.
SUMMARY: Two couples ponder the question of "Why can't we?" and come up with
different results.


DATE: June 12, 1996
TIME: 7:22 pm
LOCATION: The Ziegler residence, Bethesda, Maryland

    Toby Ziegler opened the door to his home and moved through the door. It
had been a long day at the office. He worked for Senator Eric Mikelson, a
prominent democrat in the grand scheme of things, but behind the scenes he
was an asshole, and it tired Toby to work for him. Maybe he'd be able to find
another job. The elections were coming up, and maybe Mikelson could lose.
    Toby walked through the front hall and saw the mail waiting for him on
the dining room table. He dropped his briefcase by the door and hung up his
jacket before getting the mail and moving into the living room. He looked up
in surprise as he saw his wife waiting for him.
    "Andy?" He asked softly. He saw tears in her eyes. She got to her feet,
her eyes watching him and then redirecting to her feet. He knew what was
coming. He should have seen it coming. He put the mail down on the coffee
table by the doorway and move towards her. "What's going on?"
    "Toby, I'm leaving." She said softly. He paused.
    "Why?" He asked directly. She paused.
    "Because neither of us is happy. You know it and I know it too." She
replied.
    "No, I don't know it." He replied as he moved towards her. "I know we
have our problems now and then, but I don't know that I'm not happy."
    "Toby, please don't make this hard." She pleaded.
    "It is hard. For God sakes, Andy, it had better be hard." He snapped.
"We've been married for seven years, Andy. Seven years. I thought we had a
chance here. Where is this coming from?"
    "Toby, I can't do this any more." Andy whispered. "I do love you but--"
    "Love's not enough?" He asked pointedly. Somewhere in his chest, he felt
his heart creaking, on the verge of breaking in half. She wanted to leave
him. What did that mean? What could he do? It was what she wanted. Andy
winced and looked at her feet again.
    "I don't know." She whispered. Toby paused.
    "So that's it then?" He asked. Andy watched him move to the window of the
living room. She watched him move away from her. What was she doing. She
knew, or did she?
    "I'm so sorry." She said softly. He looked at her.
    "No, you're not. If you were sorry, you wouldn't be doing this." He
pointed out. She paused and shook her head.
    "I really am. Toby, I--"
    "What's to be sorry about? I mean hey, marriages end all the time, don't
they?" He snapped harshly. Andy winced again. Toby looked at her and then
walked to the liquor cabinet in the room. She watched as he opened the door
and pulled out a bottle of scotch. He grabbed a glass and stared at the
bottle. She slowly moved next to him and pressed the bottle down on to the
counter.
    "Toby, talk to me, please?" She pleaded. She needed to hear what he was
thinking. The past few months had been so chaotic. They'd not been talking,
barely ever seeing each other any more. When they did see each other, it felt
like there was no passion left in their lives. Toby didn't joke around as
much as he used to. He didn't smile as much.
    "What do you want me to say?" He asked sharply as he glared at her. Then
his face softened, and his fingers reached up to brush against her cheek
gently. "I suppose in some way you may be right. As much as we love each
other, we can't live together anymore, can we?" He asked softly as he neared
her, wanting to kiss her and tell her to stay. "Or do you still love me at
all?" Andy looked into his eyes and then moved away from him.
    "Of course I do." She said softly, not looking at him any more. He sighed
and didn't look after her. This was really happening.
    "Do you know where you're going to go, or are you kicking me out?" He
asked softly. Andy sighed.
    "I'm going to stay with my mother until things are final." She replied
softly. Toby nodded and opened the bottle.
    "Well then, what can I say? Sounds like you've thought it through. Hell,
maybe this is for the best or something." He exclaimed before downing a shot
of the scotch and refilling the glass. "We gave it a shot and failed. Okay
then."
    "Toby, don't get self-destructive. Please." Andy said softly. "You know
in your heart that this is the right thing to do. We can't do this."
    "Why can't we???" He snapped looking at her. There was an uneasy pause in
the room. Andy met his eyes and saw the mixture of pain and anger swirling
within them. He put the glass down and moved towards her. She stepped back,
causing him to halt. "Why haven't you left yet?" He asked softly but harshly.
"Staying to rub salt in the wound?" He added before turning back to the
liquor cabinet. He refilled the glass and moved to the living room window. He
turned and saw her still standing there.
    "Go!! You said what you needed to say. I can see your bags are packed.
Get out of here!" He cried angrily. Andy let a tear slip down her cheek
before looking at her feet. Toby turned back to the window.
    "I don't want you to be--" She started. He turned to look at her again.
    "What, hurt? Angry? I'm sorry to disappoint you, Andy." He interrupted,
his voice much softer than before. Tears were streaming down her face as she
nodded.
    "I'm sorry." She whispered before turning away and grabbing her bags.
Toby turned his back on her and then looked out the window again. He heard
the front door open and then close again a few minutes later. That was it.
Seven years down the drain. A life of the future, destroyed by the past.
    Toby bit his lip and leaned his forehead against the glass window, still
staring at the eternal beauty of a sunset. He didn't want her to go. He
finished the glass and then threw it hard against the opposite wall. He
turned back to the view and tried to breathe regularly. He looked down at his
hand and saw the sparkling golden band that rested on his ring finger. He
didn't want it to end.
    But it had.

                        So you sailed away
                        Into a grey sky morning
                        Now I'm here to stay
                        Love can be so boring
                        Nothing's quite the same now
                        I just say your name now
                        But it's not so bad
                        You're only the best I ever had
                        You don't want me back
                        You're just the best I ever had


TBC...

 

Why Can't We? - 2

 

 

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