Title: Shore of memories
Author: Heidi Mrsky
email: donnamoss85@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: I dont owe them but I use them as much I like, so screw it.
I have rich daddy and damn good lawyer.
So sue me.
Just kidding=)
Summary: Could you live without your loved ones AU.
Notes: *warning* This is a sad story.
Timeline is after the re-election.
The song is Sarah Brightmans So many things from her Eden album
Feedback is strongly encouraged.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And so many things I'd forgotten,
In a world that we shared,
With so many things for the asking.
Never asked for the madness there.
Strange how I find myself
So often on a distant shore.
There's only one thing that's confusing.
Was it you? Was it me?
With so many questions unanswered
Or was that part of your mystery?
Strange how I find myself
So often on a distant shore.
So many things I'd forgotten.
So many things for the asking.
Strange how I find myself
So often on a distant shore.
How I find myself
So often on a distant shore.

**********

Saddest day of my life was the day when I faced the world without you by my side.

I cry every night, for you.

You all were my family and now youre gone.

Josiah was me like a father, Abbey was like mother, Leo was like an uncle, Toby was like a brother,
CJ was like a sister and Josh was the only man I'd ever truly loved.
And I still love him but Im never going to get a chance to tell him.
Because they're gone.

Those who remain, their lives went off its tracks.
There wasnt a reason to keep fighting.

Sam and Ainsley left for Boston, they are lawyers in some law firm now.
Zoey left to for her parents farm where she lives with her sisters and their family.
Mallory is still teaching, but she moved to Philadelphia, I havent heard fror her in a long time.
Charlie and I are the only ones who stayed in the White house.

Charlie is one of President Hoynes' aides.
He likes his job but it isn't the same Charlie anymore like he used to be.
And Im not the same person anymore.
Im First Lady Katharine Hoynes' secretary or assistant, whatever pleases you.
I miss Josh and the rest of the gang.
The White house isnt the same without them.

Flashback
14,8.2004
Hotel Falcon, ballroom.

It was Ellie's birthday, President Bartlet's daughter, and we were in L.A.
One hour before midnight, the farthest corner of  the ballroom, where most of the staff was at that moment, exploded.
Secret service told us later that it was the only place where someone could hide a bomb and none one notice it.
Terrorists were more cleaver than the secret service.
The place was evacuated, but it was too late.
The President, First Lady, Leo, Toby, Josh and CJ were all dead.
When they found their bodies, Toby was found lying on top of CJ.  He had tried to protect her but failed.
Part of the wall had fallen over them and they died under under its weight.
The President and his wife were the closest of the bomb.
President Bartlet was announcement dead at hospital 20 minutes later.
Cause of death; massive head wound and brain damage.
The First Lady was the first of them to die,
her neck had broke from the force of the explosion.
Leo was found near of first couple,
he was taken too the hospital where he died right after his friend;
cause of death;
Internal bleeding and, massive damage of his spine.
Doctors said that if Leo had made it, he would have been in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.
And Josh..
Josh was walking away from that corner when the explosion happened.
He was looking straight at me when it happened.
I remember his eyes watching me and then he was gone.
The explosion send a small parts of the wall all around the ballroom, and they hit Josh.
One piece of that goddamn wall hit hes back and pierced his lung and broke the spine.
Snap.
I still can hear the sound it made.

God how I miss them all.

Ive been thinking of quitting this job.
Ive been thinking of moving back home.
Ive been thinking of finishing my studies.
Ive been thinking of life without Josh.
Ive been thinking of killing myself.

Because I cant live without Josh, or CJ or none of them.
My life dont have any meaning any more.

Im staring at Josh's headstone.
Its made by granite, and white golden letters read:
To our son Joshua.
You will remain in our hearts and minds.
Forever.
Good night.


Ive been thinking of continuing this life without you, Joshua.
Without your smile, your laugh, your love and friendship, your stupid comments about my miserable taste of men.

Maybe I have terrible taste of men, but I think you would have been the One.
I wish we could have had the time to find out.
This life, without you..
Is like walking on the distant shore, thinking of the world madness and how after this tragedy, you find yourself on a distant shore.
Shore of memories.
Or like you once said:

"I'm gonna go to my meeting now, but go ahead and keep talking, it'll be like I never left"

Maybe I will go ahead and keep talking.
Maybe I will continue this life without you.
We are going to miss you all for rest of our lives..
But we will continue walking that distant shore, shore of memories.
Shore of life.
Life itself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And so many things I'd forgotten,
In a world that we shared,
With so many things for the asking.
Never asked for the madness there.
Strange how I find myself
So often on a distant shore.
There's only one thing that's confusing.
Was it you? Was it me?
With so many questions unanswered
Or was that part of your mystery?
Strange how I find myself
So often on a distant shore.
So many things I'd forgotten.
So many things for the asking.
Strange how I find myself
So often on a distant shore.
How I find myself
So often on a distant shore

~~~~~~~~~~

This story is dedicate to my friend Emma.
Her walk in this distant shore ended a year ago.
I still miss you.
But we will meet again.
And Im waiting for that day.

 

 

 

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