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Cat's in the Cradle Jane Harper Rating: PG-13 Synopsis: Life goes full circle, or does it? Archive: Go for it. Disclaimer: All these folks belong to the Evil Genius and his minions. Not one of 'em is mine. See, folks? I can write something besides the Dreaded Mary Sue. Oh and BTW, hat's off to the late Harry Chapin for the title. NB: portions of this story are events that we see in 'Five Votes Down'. Please recall that the way he remembers them may not be the way the camera recorded them.
**Oh baby, you take my breath away.** "Daddy!" Mallory O'Brien came rushing out of the bride's room at the church and threw her arms around her father. "You're here!" "I couldn't miss this, baby. I would have made them bring me home in a Lear. I told your godfather I'd strangle him if I was late, Secret Service or no Secret Service." She was beaming. "Now you understand," he went on, "he and Abbey are staying away, not because they don't love you, but because they want this to be *your* day. They'll be at the reception with bells on." "I know. I was mad at first but now..." She looked into her father's hazel-green eyes. "Mom's here." "I know, I saw her on the way in. She fixed my thing." He pulled at the cravat under his waistcoat. "You never were able to manage a tux by yourself, Daddy." * * * * * He'd never seen her look so beautiful. That afternoon *he* was the one standing by the priest, his knees quietly knocking, waiting for Jenny's father to join their hands. Only he wasn't in a morning coat, he was in his dress whites, and it wasn't a cathedral, it was the chapel of the Naval Air Station at Alameda where he was waiting for his carrier. "Jennifer O'Brien, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband..." He watched through her veil as her eyes filled with tears and she blinked them away. "I do." "...for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others so long as you both shall live?" He had to swallow hard to keep his voice from shaking. "I do." And then it was over and they were on their way to Carmel for the weekend. His heart was so full he thought it would break. * * * * * "Jenny?" he shouted into the phone. "Baby? I'm on my way home!" "When?" she yelled back. "Tomorrow! I'll be in Tuesday!" He could hear her start to sob. "Don't cry now, baby, it's all over!" "Thank you God, he's safe, he's healthy-" "More or less. The docs say I might have a little limp. But I'm coming home!" * * * * * He'd read so many words in the past two days his eyes were beginning to cross. "Come on, Leo, take a few minutes, you're going to read yourself blind." Jenny stood behind him rubbing his shoulders. "I can't, the bar is in two days and I've got to be ready." "You are ready. You've been ready for weeks. Cut yourself some slack." "I can't. I can't get in there and clutch. It all has to be right here." He wiggled his fingers in front of him. "This is the bar exam, honey. It's not life and death." "Good thing too, you know what happened last time somebody relied on me that way." Jenny put her arms around his neck. "Are you ever going to stop beating yourself up for that?" "No. If I'd stayed in the air, Jack would still be alive. I was his wing man. It was my job to cover him." "Leo--" "You don't understand, Jenny. You never will." She held him tighter and kissed the top of his head. * * * * * "Breathe, baby. Come on, like we practiced." He had to get right in front of Jenny's face to get her attention; she was in another world, going through something he would never comprehend. Her body was out of control, raging toward a waterfall billions of women had survived and each one doubted she would. It was driving toward life, tearing a new being from inside an older one, splitting one into two and leaving a wound inside. The obstetrician nodded to him. "OK sweetheart, now push hard, this is the last one. Come on, baby. You can do it." Jenny's sweet face twisted into a mask of fierce determination as she wrenched their daughter from the safe darkness of the last nine months. And the baby's cry split the chaos and made the light and the noise and the rest of the outside world disappear.... * * * * * **We lost. How could we have lost? Our polling numbers...** He sat in McGreevy's looking down into his glass of scotch. He'd never wanted anything as much as this, not his wings, not his daughter... Well, OK, maybe that. But it hurt. **How could we have been so wrong? How could *I* have been so wrong?** It was his third drink, and the world was starting to melt away around him and the familiar sweet numbness descend.... * * * * * "Dammit Jenny, do we have to do this now?" "Yes, Leo, we have to do this now. I'm tired of dragging your sorry ass out of bars at two in the morning. I'm tired of having to explain to your daughter why you can't come to Parents' Day. I'm tired of having to make excuses to your mother, and my mother, and your secretary. I'm taking Mallory and we're going." The tears were streaming down her face as she threw things into a suitcase. "Can't you at least wait until I get back? I don't want you flying anywhere while the controllers are on strike, and while we're trying to settle this thing--" "I'm not flying, Leo. I'm not stupid. I'm taking the car. We'll be at Mom and Dad's for awhile, and then I don't know." She slammed the suitcase shut and carried it out into the foyer. "Mallie, honey, come on, it's time to go. Grandma and Grampa will be so happy to see you!" * * * * * They didn't know he could hear them. "How do you stand working for him?" the stocky brunette asked his secretary. "I would have told him to shove it years ago." "When he's sober, he's amazing. He's brilliant, he's witty, he's energetic--" "Sally, are you sleeping with him?" She didn't answer. "Come on, nobody's *that* good in bed. Not to make you put up with--" "You've heard the others talk about him, Bess; he's one of the best mediators the Service has ever had. He could get the Hatfields and the McCoys to stop shooting long enough to talk. That's worth the occasional rough spot." "Occasional? Sally, he's late every fourth or fifth day now." "Just since Jenny left, he'll be back up to speed when she comes home." "If she knows what's good for her," Bess said, "she won't *come* back." * * * * * "Six months today, baby," he said into the phone. "I haven't had a drink in six months." "That's wonderful." "And that means you're coming home, right? That was our deal." "Yes, Leo. That was our deal. Mallory's school is out in a week, we'll be back a few days after that." "I can't wait to show you what I've done to the house, you'll love it. There are new swings in the back yard for Mallie and--" He stopped for a minute. "Jenny, I love you so much, I've missed you...." "I've missed you too. I've missed the guy I married. Is he back?" "Cross my heart, Jenny. I'll never disappoint you again." * * * * * They were all sitting in the living room staring at him: Jed, Abbey, Jenny, Mallory, Sally... **God what I wouldn't give for a drink.** Abbey was looking earnestly at him. "Leo, we're here because we love you, and because we're not going to sit idly by and watch while you destroy yourself and your family...." **Meddling bitch. Why can't you leave well enough alone?** Mallory was crying. "Dad, do you have any idea how pissed off I am at you?" "Mallory! Watch your mouth." He'd never heard her swear before. "That's polite compared to what she says where you can't hear," Jed said quietly. "You're breaking all our hearts, Leo. We love you but we can't help you unless you're willing to help yourself." "I'm not covering for you anymore," Sally said. "I--" She looked over at Jenny, who nodded. "I love you, and I won't let you keep doing this to yourself. You'll have my notice in the morning." **Oh my God, Jenny knows.** "This is it, Leo. You're going to rehab, or Mallory and I are leaving, and this time we're not coming back." * * * * * "I'll be home late honey!" Jenny came out of the kitchen drying her hands on a dishtowel. "What is it tonight?" "Going to a meeting, then Tom and I--" "I thought when you got sober you'd be home more, not less." "I can't keep it unless I give it away, Jenny. You know that." "I know, but we're new in town, and haven't met very many people here yet, and I miss you!" He went over and put his arms around her and kissed her forehead. "I know, baby. And with Mallie away at school it's twice as quiet here. I'll try to get in early, I promise." "What's early?" "I dunno, maybe ten?" "OK." She kissed him, lingering a moment longer than usual. "See you, sweetheart." * * * * * "Margaret?" **Where is that ditzy woman anyway?** "Sir?" "Margaret, don't do that. My name is Leo. Where are those contracts--?" "They're on the bookshelf behind your chair, there wasn't any more room on the desk--" He rolled his eyes around. **Where the hell did personnel find this one?** * * * * * He dug the little brown plastic bottle out of his pants pocket, popped it open and swallowed one of the little blue pills, dry. **What a day.** Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Margaret watch him and sigh. "What are you lookin' at?" "Nothing, Leo. I was just wondering if you wanted me to call Jenny and tell her you'd be late." "Yeah, you probably should." He leaned back in his desk chair and waited for the warm fuzzy feeling to hit. * * * * * "Mr. Secretary, the President wants to see you." He had a mouth full of cotton and a brain packed in ice. "Now?" "Yes sir." "OK, tell him I'll be right there." He put the phone down. "Margaret!" His assistant appeared at the door. "I already called the car. Here's your coffee, and here are the notes from the last four meetings. I think he wants to talk about the minimum wage-" Leo shook his head. "What would I do without you?" He reached out and took the papers from her, and let his hand linger just a moment over hers. She rolled her eyes around and laughed. "Will you get outa here?" * * * * * "Tom! What are you doing here?" He put his valise down on the hall table and came over to hug his old sponsor. "Jenny invited me over for dinner, I guess she expected you earlier." "Yeah, I got held up, but I wish I'd known you were gonna be here--" He looked around, walked into the dining room, and took his jacket and tie off. "Where is Jenny?" "She's upstairs. I finally sent her off to bed after she had a good cry." "Tom, this is none--" "Oh yes it is, Leo. It's very much my business. Empty your pockets." "Excuse me?" "I said empty your damn pockets." He towered over McGarry by six inches and looked down at him. "Now. There." He pointed at the occasional table. **Oh God. I am so busted.** Keys, change, wallet, metro tokens, White House ID... and the little brown plastic bottle. Leo looked up at his friend's eyes and saw them mist over. "Dammit to hell, Leo, what are you doing?" He shrugged. "I need 'em." "Like a hole in the head you need 'em. How long you been using?" "About six months--" "Ever since the confirmation hearings." Leo nodded. Tom put his arms around his friend. "It'll be ok, buddy. I know some people in Tucson. Nobody will have to know." * * * * * "Leo are you out of your mind? You can't win. There's no way you'll even get nominated--" He laughed. "Look who's the politico now!" He reached out and took her hand. "Jenny, I can't go on settling. This is probably the last chance I'll ever have to do something really great, something that could make a difference to the whole world, not just one country or one city or one family. I've got to try." "You think you can sell it to him?" "I'm gonna take a run at it. I think so. It may take time, but I think so. Abbey's gonna help." "She needs a shrink." "Probably. But I won't do this unless you say it's ok. This is big, baby. Bigger than anything. As big as it gets. It means 36 hours a day for a year and half, and that's if we lose. You'll never see me. You'll hardly ever hear from me. You might forget what I look like!" He grinned. "Fat chance," she answered with a smile of her own. "I could never forget that ugly Irish mug." "Hey!" he responded. "I'll have you know there are one or two women who think I'm very hot." Jenny laughed. "And they're a hundred and three years old and live in Sun City." He pulled her down on his lap. "I was hoping one of them lived here." "Yeah," she said, "could be. On the other hand, how will I remember?" "Better make some memories before I have to hit the road," he murmured, and took her in his arms one more time. * * * * * "You look incredible," he said to her when he saw her Inaugural gown for the first time. "I'm gonna have to be careful, somebody'll come and steal you away." "No chance," she said. "You're stuck with me." They danced the night away at a dozen parties and when dawn came they were still partying. And Monday morning she sent him off to his first work day in the West Wing. "I'm so proud of you," she said as she walked him to the door. "You remember that when I haven't been home in three days because the wheels have come off some bill or other." "I will." * * * * * "I can't believe it, Leo. We're actually alone, together, in the evening; no meetings, no emergencies, no--" His cell phone rang. She rolled her eyes. "I had hoped you'd leave that at the office--" "I can't, Jenny. I have to be available." "Twenty-four by seven, Leo? NOBODY has to be that available." "The President is." "And he's the President, and you're not." Her shoulders sagged as she walked into the kitchen to bring out the dinner she'd cooked. When she came back out he was off the phone. "This is beautiful, baby. And it smells so good. I haven't had your saffron chicken since... I can't remember when." "As soon as you called to say you'd be home for dinner, I sent Ruth to the grocery then sent her home. I wanted to cook for you. Leo, it's been so long--" "I know. Too long." His cell phone rang again. She slammed the spoon down into the vegetable bowl and stormed off up the stairs. He found her lying on their bed. "Baby?" "What?" "I'm sorry--" "How much longer, Leo? How much longer do I have to come second? First it was booze, then it was pills, now it's the damn President. How much longer?" "Jenny, I--" "I don't want to hear it. I want to see you turn off that damn phone, just once, just one evening--" "I can't! Everything that goes to the President goes by or through me first. Everything." "Is it worth it, Leo?" He looked down and sighed, then looked back up at her. "Yes." Her face grew cold. "Get out." He turned to leave. * * * * * "Where have you been?" She sounds exasperated. "What do you mean?" "The thing was over at 10:30. I thought you were gonna come straight home." "I'm really sorry, Jenny." "What happened." "We're five votes short on 802." "What can you possibly do about that at 2 AM that you couldn't do during normal business hours?" "I can do things. I wake people up. I meet with staff--" "Come to bed." "What's this?" He picks up the box on the occasional table. "A watch." "For me?" "Yes." "From you?" "Yes." "For what?" "Our anniversary." * * * * * She sighed as if she carried the weight of the world. "I can't do this anymore. I don't want to live like this. I just can't." "This is the most important thing I'll ever do, Jenny. And it's not like I made this decision by myself, we talked about it--" "It can't be as important as your marriage." "Yes, right now while I'm doing it, this is as important as my marriage. It's my legacy, Jenny." "Well may you have joy of it, Leo. I'll be at the Watergate if you should find a use for me." * * * * * "Leo? There's a Gerald McDonald on the phone?" Margaret sounded puzzled. "I'll take it, Margaret. You can always put him through." **He's my lawyer.** He sighed. This couldn't be good news. "Yeah Jerry, what's up?" "She filed, Leo. What do you want me to do?" "Give her whatever she wants." "You're kidding." "No, give her whatever she wants. It's my fault." "It's never just one person's fault." "I'm tired of fighting. Give her the store." He sighed. "OK. We'll talk when I see what she wants." The line went dead. * * * * * He knew there was trouble when he got out of the budget meeting and came back to his office. He could read it in Margaret's face. "OK," he said, "spill it. What's going on." She didn't say anything, just handed him the manila envelope. He opened it. In Re: McGarry v. McGarry, it said. He let out a long sigh, took the pen out of his inside jacket pocket and signed all three copies. "You know what to do with them," he said to Margaret. "I know what I'd like to do with them," he heard her mutter. He couldn't keep from smiling a little. * * * * * "Daddy?" Mallory's voice seemed to come from far away. "You OK?" "I'm fine baby. Is it time?" She nodded, smiling from ear to ear. He offered his daughter his arm and they walked to the back of the nave. He swallowed hard when the music started. And slowly, he walked his daughter down to put her hand in that of her eager, blue-eyed fiancé, with an unspoken prayer. **God, her mother and I blew it, please let them get it right.**
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