***

"This," CJ says, "is a spectacularly bad idea."

Josh and I have positioned ourselves on opposite ends
of the bed, a dozen tiny bottles from the mini-bar
between us. Josh keeps looking at my legs, which
makes it hard to carry on a conversation.

"No," Toby replies in a very quiet voice, "let them
get drunk."

"They're already drunk," CJ says. "If they drink any
more, they'll...oh."

"Exactly."

Josh leans toward me and whispers conspiratorially,
"They think we're lightweights. They think we're
gonna pass out."

"We're not lightweights," I whisper back.

"CJ's worried I'll hurt you. You're very vulnerable
right now."

"Am not."

"'S'what I said."

"I'm not vulnerable, CJ," I yell.

"Oh, god," she mutters. "Joshua Lyman, I will kill
you."

"Don't call him Joshua, CJ," I tell her. "He has
enemies."

"What?" CJ asks.

"I'll translate later," Toby replies.

"I have enemies?" Josh asks. "Cool."

I nod. "Lots of enemies. I'm gonna hurt 'em. Nobody
attacks my Hot Boy."

"Your what?"

"You're my Hot Boy. You were my Hot Boy Joshua, but
Toby says I shouldn't call you that."

"Toby's wrong."

"Oh, good. Cause he had me worried."

"Don't worry. I know exactly what I'm doing." He's
got one of the bottles in his hand, and he's doing
that twirling thing again. I find it strangely
mesmerizing.

"Yeah," I say. I sound breathless. "I'll bet you
do." I find it necessary to take my first drink at
this point. I empty the bottle rather quickly, as it
turns out.

Josh is staring at me again. This time he seems to
have moved from my legs to my mouth. "Oh, god," he
mutters.

"Your turn," I tell him.

I swear he polishes off the next bottle in one gulp.
And without ever taking his eyes off me. I can't take
any more of this; I have to touch him. I sit up on my
knees, lean over and undo the first two buttons of his
shirt. "I've been wanting to do that all night," I
explain.

He glances over toward CJ and Toby, who seem to be
having an intense conversation of their own. "We
*have* to get away from them," he tells me.

"Really. They're no fun. They won't let us play
Strip Scrabble."

"Strip Scrabble's a fun game."

"I could beat your ass at Strip Scrabble," I say.

"Could not."

"Wanna bet?"

"Okay. Winner brings the loser coffee."

"It's always coffee with you."

"You want something else instead?"

"I want many things, Joshua."

"I can provide them all, Donnatella."

"I'm sure you can." This calls for another round of
drinks.

We look at each other and grin.

"So," Josh says.

"So," I answer.

"We need to, you know, find a quiet place to--" For
some reason, he seems at a loss for words.

"Work. If CJ and Toby ask, we need to work."

"On the thing. For the governor."

"Right." I am smiling. He's so damn smart. He's a
political genius, this man. "The thing for the
governor."

Josh takes my hand, as we head for the door. "CJ," he
says. "Donna and I are going back to my room because
we have to work."

"On the thing," I add, "for the governor."

That's when Sam comes back in.

"Quick," CJ calls out to Sam, "block the exits! Don't
let them leave."

I'm thinking maybe Josh's plan isn't as subtle as I
originally thought it was.

***

I can't believe my plan didn't work. I'm a master
politician, dammit. I watch CJ, mouth agape, as she
barks orders to Sam like a drill sergeant.

Sam, startled, stands stock still in the doorway and
stares at us.

I take advantage of the momentary lapse in, you know,
all the shrieking, and grab Donna's hand. "Plan B," I
whisper to her.

"Good idea." Donna tugs me back towards the bed.
"What's Plan B?"

"Wait till CJ falls asleep and meet me in my room.
For..." I can't seem to find the proper phrase, but
judging from the look on Donna's face right now, she
understands.

"I understand," she says. "But when is CJ going to
fall asleep?"

I frown. "I don't know. Soon, I hope."

Donna brightens, "We should go to bed now!"

"Donna," I whine, "you're taunting me."

"No, I'm saying *we*," she explains with a sweeping
gesture that, I assume, includes Toby, CJ, and Sam.

"Good idea," I admit.

She nods glumly. "It's still going to take her a
while to fall asleep."

I pout. "I liked Plan A."

"Me too. It was more instantas--instaton--It was
faster."

I try to do the smirking thing. "You like it fast?"

Donna leans closer. "Fast can be very, very good."

I'm breathing hard at this point, which is probably
why I don't hear CJ marching toward us. "Joshua
Lyman, you are going to be hobbling out of this room
if you don't let go of Donna right this second."

"CJ," Toby says, "I'm pretty sure assault and battery
charges would play worse than--"

"Don't even say it," she interrupts. "Don't even
*think* it."

From the doorway, Sam offers, "I think they're already
thinking it."

"Sam!"

Donna grins. "We're working. On the thing."

I nod emphatically. "For the governor."

CJ rolls her eyes. "Neither of you can lie worth a
damn. You, my friend," she says, poking me in the
arm, "are never allowed near the reporters. Are we
clear?"

I ignore her words. "Hey," I say with a subtle glance
at Donna, "I have an even better idea than Strip
Strabble."

"Scrabble," Toby sighs.

"That's what I just said," I point out haughtily. I'm
still holding Donna's hand, and her fingers are
tickling the back of my hand. I'm having trouble
concentrating on stringing words together into
sentences. "Strip scrabble," I repeat carefully.

Donna shifts beside me, offering me a tantalizing
glimpse of the creamy curves under her halter top, and
I lose my train of thought entirely.

"Josh?" Sam prompts. "You said you had a better
idea?"

"Huh?"

Donna grins at me. "Your plan--I mean, your better
idea. Than Strip Scrabble. At which I could easily
beat your ass."

"You can easily--"

"Joshua!" CJ yells.

I give her an exaggerated sigh. "I have a better idea
than Strip Scrabble."

Toby's pained voice floats over from the corner. "I
don't think you could have a worse idea than Strip
Scrabble."

"My plan--my *idea*," I say, "is that we go to bed."

Donna clamps a hand over her mouth to stifle the
giggles.

Toby groans, Sam looks befuddled, and CJ takes another
menacing step toward me.

"No," I tell CJ. "Not *we*." I wave a hand around in
the space between Donna and me. Turns out, though,
there's not much space there, and my hand brushes
against her navel. I'm not sure which one of us
whimpered. "Just--" I stop and swallow hard. "Just
all of us go to bed."

"Together?" Sam asks, brow furrowed.

"Sam, you're not helping," Toby remarks. "Please
leave."

"You're kicking me out?" Sam asks. "I'm just standing
here all nice and you're kicking *me* out?"

"Yes," Toby answers. "I already have my hands full
with these two idiots."

"*You* have your hands full?" CJ scoffs. "You haven't
lifted a finger."

"Well," Toby answers with a mean little grin, "since
the revolution is coming and all, I thought I'd let
the womenfolk handle it."

"Yes," Donna chirps, "I'll be happy to handle it.
Josh and I will just--"

"No!" CJ and Toby yell in unison.

Sam raises a tentative hand. "I have an idea."

CJ glowers at him. "What?"

"I could take Josh to bed," Sam suggests.

"Hold on," I say, lifting a defensive hand in front of
me. "There will be no *taking* Josh to bed."

Sam blushes. "No, I meant--"

"Sam," Toby interrupts. "Go away."

"You're a very rude person, you know that, Toby?"

"I could take Josh to bed," Donna offers.

"I," Toby says impatiently, "will take Josh to his
room and, if he cooperates, I may even shove him in
the general direction of his bed. However, if he so
much as glances back over his shoulder at a certain
woman, I will drop kick him out the sixteenth story
window so he can be trampled by the Longhorns which
are most assuredly roaming the streets of San Antonio
in packs. Comprennez?"

I blink. "What?"

Donna squeezes my hand. "You go with Toby," she
explains. "I'll see you, you know, later. To do that
thing."

"There will be no doing *that thing*," CJ interjects,
dropping one arm around Donna's shoulder as Toby
beckons from the doorway.

"Oh!" I bring Donna's hand up to my mouth and gently
kiss her wrist. "G'night, Donna. *Sleep* well." And
then I grin at her.

Plan B rocks. Now we just have to wait for CJ to fall
asleep.

***

CJ thinks I'm asleep.

I'm not, of course. I'm waiting for CJ to fall
asleep. Then I'll sneak out without her knowing, and
I can go help Josh with the thing for the governor.

I may be giggling. I should stop that. If I don't
stop that, CJ will know I'm not asleep and I'll never
hear the end of it.

I wish CJ would fall asleep. She drank almost as much
as I did; I don't know how she can keep her eyes open.
I'd be asleep myself if I weren't so, you know,
anxious. Yeah, that's the right word. I'm anxious.
I'm anxious to go help my Hot Boy Joshua with the
thing.

I could give him lots and lots of help. The first
thing I'm going to help him with is his clothes.

Josh wears way too many clothes.

I can so beat his ass at Strip Scrabble.

I'm giggling again. Can't help it. Josh makes me
laugh. He can bring the banter, that boy. That Hot
Boy.

If I close my eyes, I can picture him. He's still
wearing that white shirt. Just that white shirt,
nothing else.

I may be whimpering.

Why doesn't CJ fall asleep? She's being very
uncooperative tonight.

Josh is wearing his white shirt, and he's untying the
straps of my halter top. If I close my eyes a little
tighter, I can picture it more clearly.

Josh is kissing me. I'll just rest my head on the
pillow so I can picture it all more clearly.

Josh is kissing me...

***

I'm very dizzy.

It's disturbing to me that I'm laying down and I'm
still dizzy. The room is just doing these unnerving
loops while I try my best to stay stationary. And,
you know, awake.

Because Donna's coming. Donnatella Moss, in her hot
little shorts, is coming to my room to...

Wow.

Just... Wow.

I'm going to be allowed to take those shorts *off* of
her.

I'm laying here drunk, turned on, and alone. Also
moaning at the ceiling. If Donna doesn't get here
soon, this is going to be rather a pathetic scene.

God, I'm drowsy. I wish the room would just stay
still for a second so I could close my eyes.

I struggle my way out of my tuxedo shirt, then
unbutton my pants. It's far too much effort to remove
them entirely, so I just leave them and concentrate on
kicking my shoes off.

Then I roll over to face the door. Cause Donna's
coming to me. Donna, Donna, Donna. Donnatella in her
hot shorts.

I'm just going to lay here and rest until she gets
here. Save my strength.

I'll just, you know, wait for her right here on the
bed.

I'll close my eyes and imagine what it'll be like to
touch her finally. To kiss her.

Wow.

Donna.

I'll just lay here and wait for the knock at the
door...

***

God, I have a headache.

Too many trips to the mini-bar yesterday, I suppose.
I keep thinking that I forgot to do something last
night. I don't know what it could be though. I
didn't have to work. Josh went to that thing with the
governor and...Josh. In the tux. Looking hot.

And then he came back, and we--we were going to--but I
fell asleep, so we didn't.

Oh, hell.

Damn.

What was I thinking?

The very idea of--it's a ridiculous idea. You know,
I'm pretty sure that I misunderstood him. He can't
have wanted to--He wouldn't have--It's too absurd.

Although maybe it's not completely without merit. I
mean, he was hot and--Oh, god! I said that, didn't I?
"Hot Boy Joshua." I said that to his face, didn't I?
He is never going to let me live that down.

I'll show him. Let him once mention that I called him
Hot Boy, and I will remind him about his brilliant new
game. Strip Scrabble? He actually expected me to
play Strip Scrabble?

I could so beat his ass at Strip Scrabble. If it
existed.

And it's just as well there's no such game.

I can't believe I fell asleep. I could have spent the
night--I am not going there. I am absolutely not
going there.

And anyway Toby said something. What did Toby say?
Oh, right. Toby said that Josh and I shouldn't even
think about this because Josh has enemies and they'd
use it against him. Sadly, now that I'm relatively
sober, I can see his point.

I could never let Josh be hurt because of me.

CJ stumbles out of the bathroom--as I remember, she
made quite a few trips to the minibar herself--just as
I start crying. She hands me a glass of water and two
aspirin. After I take the aspirin, she sits down on
the bed beside me and holds me while I cry.

***

I am hating life right about now.

I blame Sam, of course, because he let me drink... I
don't know, maybe three Shiner Bocks at the stupid
thing. The thing for raising money. Fundraiser.

My brain is moving at quite a leisurely pace today. I
think it's still asleep. At any rate, all I know is I
woke up in my undershirt and tuxedo pants with one
hell of a hangover. There was some vomiting, which is
always fun, and then some general malaise and moaning.

Now it's almost ten and Leo threatened me with death
if I didn't show up in his room immediately. I'm
thinking death would probably be preferable, at this
point, to living with this headache. It's also
possible that I did something incredibly stupid last
night while soused and am about to have my head handed
to me.

I have this problem when I drink more than a couple of
beers--I don't remember much the next day. Last
night, for instance, I clearly remember that Donna had
some very short shorts on, CJ threatened my kneecaps
for a reason I can't quite recall, and we may or may
not have played a game. I think it was Scrabble.

Anyway, I stand under the shower's steaming spray for
about ten minutes, then pull on my oldest, most
comfortable pair of jeans and a henley.

Leo's waiting for me, along with CJ, Sam, Toby, and
Donna. They all look a little worse for the
wear--except Leo, of course. Donna's eyes are really
red, so when I pour myself a glass of water from the
room service tray, I bring her one and settle in next
to her. "Drink this," I tell her.

She gives me this look I can't quite understand and
says, "Thank you."

CJ groans, and Toby elbows her.

I give them a puzzled look. "You feeling okay, CJ?"

She opens her mouth to answer, but Toby jumps in,
"She's upset about the revolution."

I blink. "The revolution?"

"Feministas Unite," CJ mutters. "And the hat joke."

"Wait, the Feministas are uniting over the hat joke?"

"The Feministas *aren't* uniting," Sam explains. "And
the hat joke is a whole other thing."

"It's a thing?" I sigh. "It's really a thing?"

CJ glares at me. "Yes, it's a thing. The State
Majority Leader released a statement about it.
Apparently, the governor's joke was insensitive and
thoughtless."

"Hold on--the *Republicans* are whining about a joke
not being politically correct?" I ask, incredulous.
"In what crazy-ass alternate universe did I wake up
today?"

Leo shrugs. "Welcome to Texas, Josh."

I sigh. "I hate Texas."

Beside me, Donna says, "I kind of like it, actually."

I'm about to ask her something--her tone of voice is
unfamiliar to me; sad or something--but CJ gestures to
the door and says, "I need you, Josh."

I nod and push myself to my feet. Something's nagging
at me, but I can't quite grasp it. I have that
feeling like I'm forgetting something important. And
as I glance back at Donna, I think it's got something
to do with her. "Donna," I begin, pausing in the
doorway. "Did I--?"

"Josh," Toby interrupts softly. "Go with CJ."

I ignore him. "Donna?"

She meets my gaze sadly. "It's fine, Josh. CJ needs
your help."

Something's definitely wrong with her. "Donna, I
didn't do anything last night that--"

"No," she interrupts with a quick glance at Leo. "You
didn't do anything last night. You were drunk."

I nod carefully. "I remember that much."

She licks her lips nervously. "You don't remember
anything else?" she asks lightly, but I can tell her
cheer is forced. "We played Scrabble."

There's something... I can almost... "Scrabble?"

"Yeah, all of us." She gestures towards Toby and Sam.

Sam, of course, feels the need to clarify. "Actually,
you guys wouldn't let me play--"

"Sam," Toby sighs, "shut up."

"See, you're being rude again," Sam answers.

I'm not paying much attention to them, though, because
Donna's still looking at me with this... look. I have
the sudden urge to hug her. "Donna?" I ask again.
Surely she'll tell me if there's something I need to
know.

"Go," Donna answers with a small smile. "You've got
work to do, and so do I."

I watch her for a moment. "Okay," I nod, and then I
follow CJ into the hallway.

THE END

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