"Will You Remember Me?" - part 5

Disclaimers: see part 1



Toby opened the door to his apartment with his daughters sleeping soundly in their car seats that he carried in his left hand.  It was a long day at the office filled with people that he couldn’t stand and meetings that he wished he never had to go to again.  All he wanted to do now was to spend a quiet evening with his daughters, telling them stories about their mother.  He had been doing that more and more.  He would get out photographs of CJ, and tell Jacqueline and Catherine stories about their mother.  The twins might still be too small to understand what he was telling them, but he hoped by showing them pictures of CJ they would recognize her when she came back to them one day.

"Toby, didn’t you promise me that you’ll fix the light in the kitchen."

"Sorry, I forgot.  I will do it…" Toby stopped dead in mid sentence.  He stared at CJ, who was sitting comfortably on the sofa with her long legs resting on the coffee table.

‘Great.  Now I am having hallucinations.  I probably should have a long talk with my psychologist tomorrow.’

"I thought you would be excited to see me."

"CJ?"  Toby still couldn’t believe what he was seeing.  He couldn’t take his eyes off her.

‘Am I dreaming?  If I am, please let me dream forever.  I don’t want to wake up.’

"Toby!  I am still waiting for my hug, or you can say ‘Welcome home, CJ’ for starters."  She started to laugh.  It was a rare occasion to see Toby Ziegler speechless.

Toby walked slowly toward the sofa.  Putting the car seats that he was holding on the coffee table, he carefully reached out his right hand to touch CJ’s face.

"Am I dreaming?" 

CJ could hear the crack and the shakiness in his voice.

"No, you’re not, Toby.  I am really here.  I remember, Toby.  I remember everything."  She was touched by the deep emotion that she saw on his face and tears started to fall down her face.


For the longest time they sat together on the sofa with their babies in their arms.  They drank in the peacefulness surrounding them, and neither one of them want to talk, afraid that the slightest sound would break the magic moment.  Looking down at CJ and their baby angels, Toby knew that he had all he wanted right here in his arms, and his world was now complete.

"How did it happen?  I mean, all a sudden you got your memory back?"  Toby finally broke the silence.

"Well, Alex took me to Sequoia at Georgetown for dinner tonight, and it must be fate that he and I were seated at the same table that we were seated when you took me there on our first date.  I was sitting there, looking around the restaurant while pretending to be interested in what Alex was saying about his military fighter, and all of a sudden I started to see images of us.  At first they were in pieces… us dancing at the dance floor, us sharing that ice-cream dessert, us sharing our first kiss.  Then everything that I forgot came flooding back to my mind.  I ran out of there without giving Alex any explanation, and I jumped into the first taxi I found in front of the restaurant, telling the driver to speed all way here."

"How did you get in here?"

"I met Mrs. Smith at the door while she was coming home from work; she remembered that you left a set of keys with her husband for emergencies.  Speaking of Alex, I think I should call him and let him know that I am fine.  He is probably worrying to death.  You know, you should thank him."

"What!  That guy tried to steal my wife from me, and you want me to thank him?"  Toby cried in disbelief.

"Hey, think about it.  If he did not take me to Sequoia, then I would probably still be in the clouds now.  Come on, Toby.  Be a gentleman."

"You’ve known me for how long?  Did I ever do or say anything that gave you the slightest idea that I want to be a gentleman?"

"Okay, you won."

"Don’t I always."  Toby flashed her a triumph smile.  "Oh, there is something that I have to return to you."

"What is it?"

"These."  Toby handed CJ’s engagement and wedding rings that he wore in a chain around his neck back to her.  "The nurses took them off your finger when they prepped you for C-Section."

CJ stretched out her hand and Toby slid the rings back to her ring finger.  "Now, they are back to where they belong."

"Why did you wear them around your neck?"  CJ asked, hugging him tightly.

"So they were closest to my heart."

"Oh, Toby!"

She looked up from Toby’s chest that her head was resting on, and looked directly into his eyes.  In Toby’s eyes, she could see his love and longing for her, and she knew that was where she belonged.  She never wanted to be separated from him again.

"Welcome home, CJ.  And you had better be prepared to stay because I am not going to let you go again."  Toby smiled at her.

"I am not going anywhere."  She gave him a kiss.

Looking down at the babies in their arms, she thought about the days of her daughters’ lives she missed.  "Hey, sweeties.  I am your mommy.  I am sorry that I have not been around.  I am really sorry, but I promise that I will make it up to you.  I will not leave you again.  I love you."  She planted kisses on their faces and hugged them tighter.

"I am sorry, Toby.  I am really sorry.  I have been the worst wife and worst mother in the world.  I gave birth to them, but I never took care of them, not even for one day.  I never fed them one bottle, I never changed one diaper for them, I never kissed them goodnight, and I was never there to hold them when they have nightmares.  How am I different from those mothers who abundant their children?"  Tears continued to run free from her eyes and this time she didn’t even bother to wipe them.

"Shhh, don’t cry.  We all understand.  It was not your fault that you couldn’t remember us.  We know you love us, and we love you back, too." 

"I don’t want to be separated from you again.  I love you, Toby.  You know, even when my brain didn’t remember loving you, my heart still felt it."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember that you brought the twins to work one day.  My heart ached so badly, and I was so jealous when I realized that you were married, I locked myself in my office and cried for hours that morning."

"So that was why your eyes were red when I saw you at the staff meeting.  You told me you had something in your eyes."  Toby couldn’t resist teasing her, and CJ simply stuck her tongue out and grimaced at him.

"I love you, Claudia Jean Ziegler.  Don’t you dare trying to forget me again," he whispered in her ear.   Pulling her into another passionate kiss, he knew his nightmare had ended, and everything was going to be all right from now on.


The End. 




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