TITLE: Fear

AUTHOR: Kasey

SERIES: Elements #9

RATING: PG-13, ESF, EMF, EJF, S/M, JoshPoV

SUMMARY: Sometimes new challenges confront us...Sometimes we confront them.

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own these characters, still.

NOTES/THANKS/ETC.: This one's short, unbetaed, and sort of a rambling vignette. Josh rambling – imagine my shock J I'd like to thank all of you who've sent such positive feedback – it's always nice to know that, not only are people reading and enjoying your fic, but that they're actually waiting for more.

After Sam was in the hospital, I spent a lot of time thinking about Dad. Actually, I'd been doing a lot of thinking ever since Sam had been diagnosed.

I was there for hardly any of Dad's last year. I went home at Thanksgiving and I stopped in during a campaign stop in Hartford. I wasn't there when he died, and I only stayed 2 days for the funeral. Mom wanted me to sit shivah with her but...California...the campaign...Everything I'd been working for...I couldn't stay in Connecticut for a week. And Mom was being taken care of...Everyone was around so she'd be okay...

She understood. She didn't stay angry with me.

I dunno. I've always felt guilty about that. Sorta goes back to cutting and running, never being around as people are dying. Joanie, Dad...

Maybe that was part of the reason I was around so much with Sam, 'cause on some...strange level, I figured he'd die and I should be there?

I started wondering what had happened to make me think that way. Why was I acting as though his death was imminent? Why was I thinking like that? He was doing relatively well, considering the bout with pneumonia and the fact that he was getting weaker on chemo and all that.

Then I remembered – Oh yeah. That's why. Experience with the Curse of Lyman.

Fortunately for Sam, he's a Seaborn, not a Lyman, and while he may not have had the best luck with the ladies (Lisa and Laurie come to mind), he didn't' seem to be cursed.

Or maybe every family has a curse of some sort. Like the McGarrys and alcohol. Or the Seaborns and women – Sam's dad and mistress woman, Sam and the hooker...

Though then there was Sam and Mallory...She was being so good for him. S he actually managed to keep him home and resting once in a great while – a very impressive feat – and you can tell just by watching them together the sort of...thing they had together. An intangible...connection. Especially after Sam was out of the hospital a couple days. Something happened but neither one would tell me about it. I dunno, I think if Sam's ever gonna get married, it'd probably be to Mal – maybe the whole idea of 'if a relationship can survive this, it can survive anything.'

I dunno, I don't...picture Sam really proposing or anything until awhile after he's in remission, it'd be too...Toby would call it 'tempting fate.' Plus he wouldn't wanna take the chance on-...Wait.

I was gonna say he wouldn't wanna take the chance on making Mal a widow, but it's not like we don't-...Everyone-...Nothing is certain. I mean, I could walk outside tomorrow and get hit by a bus or a...her of buffalo, I guess – wife or no wife.

Way to think positively.

TBC

 

 

Home        What's New        Author Listings        Title Listings