See Part 1..blah blah blah
Okay it's been 55 minutes since the hand holding fiasco and not a word has been spoken about it. As a matter of fact I've barely seen Josh tonight never mind actually spoken to him. How dare he ignore me after we had a moment. And it was a moment. It was one of those times when the world stands still. I know it was just holding hands. But with the music and the people....I don't know....maybe I don't get out much. Maybe I'm so desperate and starved for affection that I make a big deal out of nothing. Or maybe it all felt so right and so perfect because it was a big deal. For us.
"Donna." I guess I was sort of staring into space there for a second.
"Oh Hey CJ."
"Have you seen Josh?" I was going to ask her the same question.
"Not in awhile. Why?"
"No big deal I just wanted to warn him that the President is planning on speaking in about ten minutes. I heard there is going to be a 15 minute lecture on the origins of the Christmas Tree. So you might want to hide."
Where the hell is he anyway.
Well this has been one hell of a couple of days hasn't it? With the stapler/hole punch mission and Sam's voice that could shatter glass. Add to that the sudden realization that my assisstant Donnatella Moss is the most amazing creature to ever walk the face of the earth and you can see why I'm hiding out in my office while everyone else is at the party.
Life has been one big ball of surprises lately. I certainly never expected to take a bullet and spend 3 months recovering. It definately has had an affect on my life whether I admit it or not. I'm more defensive, something I never thought possible. I'm always on edge. I've seen the harsh realities of life. I've also seen how quick things can change and the importance of making life count.
"There you are." I literally jump ten feet out of my chair.
"You remember my name?" She's joking but there is an edge to her voice.
"Well I only scream it 876 times a day."
"give or take."
"Josh...." She gets quiet now. A quiet Donna is something I don't know how to deal with.
"So how's the party?" I'm trying desperately to stear this conversation away from any dangerous territory.
"Josh...what's going on?" Damn she's good. She's not letting me get off easy.
"With?" Her eyes are narrowing. If this was Star Trek little lazers would be shooting out of them burning into my flesh.
"Earlier. The moment." Ah. The moment. She's been obsessing about it too. This makes me happy.
"Josh don't play cute.
"Donna I don't have to play at it." She hits me. This Donna I can deal with.
"But seriously Josh." Damn. I thought I had it there for a minute. Well I'm caught. There is no way for me to avoid this conversation.
I walk around my desk and face her. She's looking right at me. Her eyes are wide, and very blue. It's disconcerting to have her looking at me like that.
"Donna I'm sorry."
"For what." For what? Does she want a list?
"I'm sorry for throwing you at a potential crime scene with a hole puncher." This makes her smile. I can die a happy man looking at her smile.
"That was pretty wimpy of you Josh. I mean be a man for godsake." I roll my eyes.
"I'm sorry for being awful to you lately. I've just been really confused about a lot of things and I had no right to take it out on you."
"You have been pretty awful to me lately. To everyone. But you know what Josh. It's okay. I forgive you. I thought I was going to lose you there for a second and that terrified me and that fact that your here, no matter how miserable you are,makes me happy in a way I don't quite understand." There are tears in her eyes and her voice is cracking. I love this woman.
I don't have a response. I can't come up with anything to say. My Ivy league education did not prepare me for anything that has to do with the matters of the heart. So I do the only thing I can. I put my arms around her. She rests her head on my shoulder. I think we are having another moment. It occurs to me that I would like to have moments like this for the rest of my life.
"Well, Josh, if we hurry we can catch the President's debate about why a star is better for the top of the tree then an Angel." She says this as she pulls away. I'm not ready to go back to the party. I'd rather just stay here with her. But maybe she doesn't want to stay here with me. Maybe she isn't feeling quite the same thing as I am.
"Maybe if we're lucky Sam will do an encore." She's looking at my shirt. Why is she looking at my shirt?
"Oh Josh, I got some of my lipstick on your shoulder!" She's trying to rub it off. She's just making it worse. I can't help but laugh.
"Josh it's not funny!" She hits me for about the 8th time today. I look down at her. I've decided that I'm going to make this moment count.
"You know what Donna. I'm sorry for one more thing?" Now she looks puzzled.
"This." And I bend my head down to kiss her. It's soft and gentle at first but then she wraps her arms around my neck and it's gets passionate. I can feel my knees actually get weak. Who would have thought this would ever happen. I will definately have a new attitude towards the holiday season after this.
She pulls away first. But she doesn't go far. Thank God. I'm not sure I can handle a seperation after that.
"Do you want to go hear the President?" I'm am praying she says no but I figured I better at least ask.
"Who?" She looks up and smiles.
"Merry Christmas Donna."