Title: Born in Darkness
E-Mail Address: firstname.lastname@example.org
Classification: Josh/Donna, some Toby/CJ
Spoilers: Minor from In the Shadows of Two Gunmen
Summary: Late night, and two lonely people.
Disclaimers: Not mine. I think itīs pretty obvious I donīt own them, I am not the rich bitch here. All the characters belong to Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Production and Warner Bros. No infringement is intended, and no money is being made.
Authorīs Note: Jill asked a Josh and Donna story, and Josh and Donna story she shall have. This is for you, Jilly. Thank you, as always, to Pat for beta and all the help. Youīre the best! Feedback most wanted, and appreciated. Enjoy.
The West Wing was quiet for the night, most of the staff left for home already. Only a few assistants were still there, finishing their work before going home to start the weekend. The hallways were dark, most of the offices empty, doors closed and locked.
A dim light came from the office, creating sad and lonely shadows on the walls. She walked back to her desk and placed a stack of files down. A soft sigh escaped from her lips as she walked in his office, ready to tell him it was time to go home.
The night was darker that it had been before, the falling snow darkening the sky. She stood silently in his empty office, staring out from the window, watching the blizzard outside. She wrapped her arms around her, keeping the cold away, the cold that crept in her bones, the cold that made her shiver.
First she had been surprised to find his office empty, surprised and then worried. For many weeks now, he had been staying at the office, working late, even spending his nights there, not wanting to go home where he would have to be alone. She often found him in Samīs office, both men almost as afraid to be alone. Much had changed after the incident almost two years back. No more did they speak of it, but they knew it was the reason they were afraid.
She made her way into the communications bullpen, only to found the offices empty. Walking back she saw a light coming from the office end of the hall, and with a quiet steps she walked to the door. For a long time she stood there, watching him as he rested on the couch, leaning back against the soft cushions and his eyes closed.
"I thought you left for home." He said softly.
"I thought you were with Sam."
He opened his eyes and looked at her smiling tiredly. "Why are you still here? Itīs..." He lifted his hand to look at his wristwatch. "Itīs past midnight."
"Are you okay?" She asked softly, ignoring his question.
"Iīm fine." He replied and sat up straight. "Go home, Donna."
"Why you are sitting in CJīs office?"
"Why you are ignoring my questions?"
"Josh." A soft smile crept on her lips.
"Go home, Donna." He repeated, rubbing his tired face.
"Are you going?"
"In a while." He said looking up to her.
"Josh." Her voice was only a soft whisper.
She walked to him, and without a word he wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his head against her stomach, inhaling her familiar and comfortable scent. She leaned down, pressing her cheek on his hair, her hands caressing his shoulders and neck.
"You should rest." She whispered. "Amyīs keeping you awake?"
He pulled back from her. "Donna."
"Iīm sorry." She whispered. "Itīs none of my business."
"No, itīs not." His voice was soft.
"I... I should go."
"Stay." The simple word escaping from his lips made her turn from the door.
"Please stay." He said again, looking up to her eyes.
"Because I need you. Because I donīt want to be alone."
"What about Amy?"
"What about Amy?" He repeated her question.
"You never liked her, did you?"
"Itīs not... well, itīs not that I donīt like her... I just... donīt like her." She said quietly, turning her eyes away.
"Donna." He stood up and walked to her. "Please stay."
"Weīre in CJīs office." She whispered.
"I canīt go home. Not alone."
He pulled her gently back on the couch and sat down next to her. "You look tired." She said softly.
"I feel tired." He admitted leaning back on the couch.
She reached to touch his face, running her fingers across his cheeks and lips. He captured her hand with his own and brought it on his lips, kissing her fingers softly.
"I donīt deserve you."
"No, you donīt."
He turned to look at her smiling, but didnīt release her hand. "Iīm trying to open up here, would you mind not interrupt me?"
"Sorry." She whispered.
For a long moment he was quiet. Weeks ago he had realized that he was hurting her, and he had hated himself for that. The walls she had built around herself were because of him, denying his access into her heart, into her soul. She had given her heart to him, and he had pushed her aside, choosing someone else in his life. And only now she had started to collect the piece of her broken heart, swearing she would not allow him to hurt her anymore.
"I think I have fallen in love with you." He said staring at their linked hands resting in his lap.
He turned to look at her. "I shouldnīt have said that now, should I?"
"Itīs not..." She took a deep breath. "And what about Amy?"
"You keep asking that a lot."
"Donīt worry about her."
"Iīm not worried about her, I donīt care about her, I donīt even..."
"Like her." He finished for her. "Donna, youīre rambling."
"Josh, you canīt just go around the White House saying things like that." She pulled back.
"Around the White House..? What are you talking about?"
"Mandy. Joey. Amy. Donīt you see?"
"See what?" He sighed frustrated. "I love you, Donna. Nothing else matters to me right now. I... I love you."
"Donīt say that."
He leaned to her, gently capturing her face between his hands and kissing her softly. She wanted to pull away, she wanted to run and never return, but the touch of his lips made her close her eyes and respond to the kiss. Her lips parted and allowed him deepen the kiss. A soft moan escaped from her when he pulled away.
"Youīre not gonna hit me?" He asked softly, his hands still caressing her face.
"Good." He placed a small kiss on her lips before pulled away.
"Josh." She looked up, her eyes bright with unshed tears, her cheeks flushed with his kiss.
"I couldnīt stop loving you even if youīd ask me." He said with a soft voice.
"I donīt have strength to allow my heart break again."
"And I canīt promise it wonīt break again, but I can promise it wonīt break because of me. And that I will help you to gather the pieces if that happens."
She looked at him sadly. "I donīt know."
He touched her arms gently. "If youīre worried about"
"No." She shook her head. "Itīs not that."
"Then what is it? Tell me, let me help." His voice was so gentle and loving that she couldnīt held her tears back.
"Donīt cry sweetheart."
"These are happy tears, Josh." She said softly.
"Yes, they are." Her hand went on his cheek and she pressed a soft kiss on his lips. "I do love you, Josh. Iīm just scared."
"Scared?" He covered her hand with his own and leaned against her touch. "What are you afraid of?"
"I donīt want to lose you."
She met his eyes. "Promise."
He placed his right hand above his heart. "Promise."
She leaned into his arms, letting him to hold her tight against his chest. "We can make this work?"
"Absolutely." He promised. "I love you so very much."
"I love you too."
Early in the next morning CJ Cregg walked through the communications bullpen toward her office. She peaked in the two offices founding Toby already in his.
"Hey." She smiled softly.
"Hey yourself." He looked up.
For a while she just stood there smiling. "I just wanted to thank you for last night." Her voice was quiet.
"It was my pleasure." He stood up and walked to her. "I had a good time." His whisper made her shiver and she raised her hand to cup his face, her fingers brushing softly across his lips.
"So did I."
The intimate moment was interrupted by the closing voices as the first assistants were starting the day. She stepped back, not wanting to raise curious questions about their new relationship.
"Can I take you to lunch?" He asked softly.
"You know where to find me."
"Yes I do."
Laughing softly she walked away. She stopped to take the latest messages from her assistant before opening the door into her office. She lifted her eyes from the paper in her hand and stared the pair sleeping in her couch.
Saying nothing she took off his jacket and pushed the door ajar. Not wanting to disturb them, she placed her briefcase and the paper on her desk quietly. With a soft look to her best friend and the woman in his arms she left the office.
"Carol." She called her assistant. Make sure that no one goes in my office until I come back."
"And if you need me, Iīm in Tobyīs office."