"Sam?" Donna´s concerned voice made him turn his sad eyes to her and smile softly.
"I´m okay." He assured and covered her hand on his arm with his own. "Promise."
She eyed him carefully, not really sure if he was telling the truth. Finally she squeezed his arm and gave him a soft smile.
He watched her to walk away, and closed his eyes, the unfamiliar and unexpected feel of sorrow and pain mixed together filling his heart. He turned his eyes away, returning to stare at his empty beer bottle. Not many more beers would be needed before he would be drunk, and that was his goal tonight.
Two pairs of worried eyes watched as Donna Moss walked back to the booth and sat down. "Well?"
"Josh." She said quietly.
"Give him some time."
He stared at her confused, and then turned his head back to the bar where his best friend leaned against the counter, giving an order to the bartender.
"Josh." Her hand found his under the table and she curled her fingers around his. He didn´t look at her, but she felt him relaxing. "He will come to you when he´s ready."
Josh shared a worried look with Toby, but said nothing. They all watched as Sam returned back to the table and served them their new drinks.
An hour later Sam placed his empty glass on the table and raised his hands to rub his tired face.
"We should go." Donna said softly.
"Yeah." Josh nodded after a moment of silence.
He helped her with her coat before with a gentle hand on her back he led her out to the chilly night. She wrapped her arms around her, trying to keep the cold away.
Josh walked to Sam, his hands deep in his pockets. "You okay?" He asked quietly.
Sam turned to him and nodded his head. "I will be."
They stood in silence, both having so much to say but not knowing how to put it in words. Sam looked back to where Toby talked quietly with Donna.
"I´ll see you tomorrow." He said, seeing the worry in Toby´s eyes.
"You can call me if you want to talk." The older man said. "Anytime."
"Thanks." Sam nodded, giving him a reassuring smile. He then turned back to Josh. "I´ll talk to you later." He promised.
"I´ll call you." Josh replied, lifting his hand on Sam´s shoulder.
"Okay." He nodded and walked away.
Josh returned back to Donna´s side and wrapped his arm around her shoulders to keep her warm. "Let´s go home." He whispered.
Toby said nothing, only pushed his hands in his pockets and walked by their side. Josh glanced over his shoulder, his eyes full of worry.
"He´ll be fine." Toby said without lifting his eyes from the sidewalk. "He´s a fighter."
"I´ll call him in the morning. Things usually look better by then."
Sam walked without destination in the cold night. In a few days his life had changed, and he didn´t know how to handle it. The anger and hatred he felt for his father scared him. He was disappointed and sad, thinking his father had not only betrayed his mother, but him too.
The streets were quiet, most of the people sleeping in their warm houses. He stopped in front of the dark building, looking up to the windows. There was no light, and he closed his eyes disappointed.
But then, without thinking he walked the steps up and lifted his hand to knock at the door. He didn´t want to wake her, but he needed to see her.
He stood still patiently, trying to listen any voices coming inside. After a few moments, the door opened, and he stared the sleepy woman in front of him.
"Sam?" Ainsley Hayes pushed the door close again to unlock the chain. She pulled the door open and looked as him worriedly. "What´s wrong?"
"I´m... I´m sorry I woke you." He said and took a few hesitant steps away. "I shouldn´t have come."
"Sam." She reached for his hand and pulled him inside. "You´re freezing." Closing the door after him, she led him into the dark living room and reached to take a blanket from the couch and wrapped it around his shoulders.
"I´m sorry I came like this." He said finally.
"It´s okay." Her voice was a soft whisper.
"I... I had no other place to go." A few escaped tears fell down on his cheeks and he turned his head away, shamed of his emotions in front of her.
"Oh Sam." She stepped close to him and wrapped her arms around him, burying her head on his chest.
For a long moment he stood still, but finally his arms went around her, wrapping the blanket around her as well, and he cried against her shoulder.
When he pulled away, she lifted her head to look at his face. Many feelings from pain and confusion to sorrow and hope were mixed in his blue eyes. Not knowing what to say, what to do to help him, she leaned forward to touch his lips with hers.
The kiss that started with an innocent comfort, soon turned to needing and passionate. His arms wrapped around her slim waist, pulling her as close as possible. He pulled away first, wanting to look at her, afraid if he had hurt her.
"Ainsley." He whispered hoarsely.
She met his eyes, and nodded, telling him silently that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. He took her hand, and pulled her after him into the bedroom.
The continuous ringing of his cell phone made him groan and sat up sleepily. Looking around in confusion in the strange bedroom, he finally realized the source of the noise. He pushed the covers aside and the chill air made him shiver. Reaching to take his coat from the floor he pulled the cell phone out of his pocket.
It didn´t take long to convince Toby he was okay, and promise he would call him later. He hung up and closed his eyes. The images from the previous night filled his mind, and he turned to look at the woman who slept peacefully on the other side of the bed.
He glanced at the clock on the nightstand. He still had time before he would be due back in the White House. Deciding against the leaving quietly, he lay back on the bed and rolled on his side to look at Ainsley.
With a gentle hand he pushed a strand of blond hair away from her face. She stirred in her sleep, and then slowly opened her eyes. The look on her eyes was almost shy, and she unconsciously pulled the sheet around her tighter.
A soft smile crept on his lips as he saw that, but he said nothing. He touched her face again, and she leaned against his touch.
"Morning." She whispered.
"Morning." His voice was soft and gentle.
She lowered her eyes, her fingers touching his bare chest.
"Ainsley." He started, but she placed her fingers on his lips, interrupting his words.
"Sam, no. If you´re saying you´re sorry, please don´t."
He took her hand and kissed her palm softly. "I´m not sorry, Ainsley. I´m a little scared, and confused, but I am not sorry for what happened."
"Me neither." She whispered softly, smoothing his coarse cheek.
It had been two weeks since the night Sam had spent with Ainsley. He sat in his office late that night, going over the speech the President was about to read tomorrow. After reading the same line for three times, he gave up and leaned back in his chair. He had hardly talked with her lately. The life in the White House had been hectic and busy, and he had spent lots of time on the Hill, or meetings and conferences.
When he had left her apartment that morning, he had kissed her softly and told her he would call her later that day. He never had a chance, and later he had reached the answering machine but not knowing what to say, he had hung up without saying a word.
"Sam?" A soft knock from the doorway pulled him out of his dreams and he looked up.
"Hey." He said softly and straightened up. "I thought you left for home."
"I´m waiting for Donna." Josh glanced over his shoulder, nodding toward the bullpen. "She has something she wants to finish..." He walked in and took a seat on a nearest chair.
"So, you and Donna..." Sam took off his glasses and placed them on the table.
"Yes. No." Josh shook his head. "There´s no me and Donna."
Sam nodded and smiled understanding. "Of course."
Josh glared him for a while before relaxed. "I talked with CJ."
"About the thing?"
"It´s not that bad."
"Sam." Josh leaned forward, leaning his head against his hands.
"If we get Spencer and Hoffman, we´re fine."
"If we lose Kent, we´ll lose Hoffman."
"We won´t lose Kent." Sam said tiredly.
"Okay." Josh said after a moment of silent. "Okay."
"Josh?" Donna stood in the doorway holding his coat. "Hey Sam."
"Hey Donna." Sam looked away from Josh´s worried face and smiled at her.
Josh stood up and walked to her. He took his coat and pulled it on. "Don´t stay too late." He said, his eyes reflecting the worry he felt in his heart for his friend.
"I won´t." Sam said softly. "Good night."
"Night Sam." Donna smiled softly. Josh looked at him for a moment before followed her into the dark bullpen.
He stared after them, seeing how Josh´s hand found its familiar place on the small of her back. It was a gentle gesture. The touch of a lover. Sam leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes.
After a long silent minute, he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. He shut down his computer and pulled his coat on. Leaving the office he walked through the empty halls and bullpens, nodding politely to the security guards as he past them on his way to the door.
"Sam." The call of his name made him turn around.
"Ainsley." He walked to her, letting the opened door close behind him. "What are you doing here?"
"I need to talk to you." She said quietly.
She eyed the guards over his shoulder and shook her head. "Not here."
Nodding he led her back into his office and turned on the lights again. She walked to the window, twisting her hands nervously.
"Ainsley?" He walked to her, raising his hands to touch her shoulders, but decided against it and let them fall back on his side.
"Sam." She started.
He said nothing.
For a long moment she was in silent too, thinking how to say what she wanted to tell him. Finally she turned to face him, her long, blond hair falling on her shoulders. She lifted her eyes to meet his, and she placed her hand on her stomach.
"I´m pregnant, Sam."
He sat in his dark living room alone, staring into nothingness. The light of the street lamp across the street created lonely shadows on the walls. The apartment was silent, only a continuous ticking of the clock on the wall was him to hear.
He thought about his future, how he had been afraid to grow old alone. But now, a thought about a baby terrified him. And yet he felt such a joy and pride he could not understand.
Soft footsteps behind him made him tore his eyes from the window he had been watching seeing nothing.
"Hey." Sam said softly and stood up.
Ainsley looked at him shyly, pulling his tee-shirt lower to cover her bare thighs. He walked to her, and took her hand in his own, leading her back into his bedroom.
"You should rest." He helped her back into the bed, like she was a precious cargo that would break anytime.
For a moment she though he would join her, but he leaned to brush a lock of hair off her face and then turned to leave.
"Stay." She whispered, her soft voice almost pleading. "Talk to me."
He turned back from the door, and looked at her for a long minute. "Ains." His whisper was soft as silk, and her lips curved into a small smile as she heard the name only he had used before.
"Let´s talk." She said again, moving aside and tapping the empty side.
He returned back to her side and sat down on the mattress. She sat up and placed her hand gently on his back, feeling the soft material of his shirt.
He turned to face her, lifting his hand on her face, smoothing his palm across her cheek. "I am sorry."
She pulled back from his touch. "For what? For making me pregnant? For coming to me that night? For what, Sam?"
"No." He shook his head sadly. "For not doing what I wanted to do."
"And what is that, Sam? What is that you wanted to do?" She asked quietly.
"I wanted to call you. I..." He started, his voice breaking off. "I wanted to be with you." He finally finished.
"Sam. It´s okay."
He shook his head again. "No."
"You´re here with me now." She reminded him, and took his hand to place it on her still flat belly.
"I love you, Ainsley." He whispered.
"You don´t have to say that." She smiled softly, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
"I know. But I do."
"Okay." She nodded, allowing him to wrap his arms around her and pull her closer.
"I have for a long time."
She pulled back a little, to touch his face. "I am as scared as you are, Sam. But we´ll be fine."
"Yes, we will." He buried his head on her shoulder, and inhaled deeply her comforting scent.
A few minutes later he lowered her against the pillows, lying next to her.
When he had brought her home after she had told him her news, he had let her take the bed and then disappeared into the living room, trying to get some sleep in the couch. And after an hour he had given up. It was still a few hours before the sunrise, but the sleep didn´t come. He listened her steady breathing, feeling her heartbeats against his chest.
Only once he had slept with her, and that had been enough to create the miracle that was now growing inside of her. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and closed his eyes.