Author: Lisa Verson
Pairing: CJ/Toby, friendship
Spoilers: Posse Comitatus
Summary: He can tell that she's not her normal self.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters in any way, shape, or form.
Note: I was bored and I haven't written any CJ/Toby stories for a while, so I'm a little rusty. So if this stinks, now you know why.
Feedback: Would be lovely!
"CJ, I'm so sorry," Toby said as the play let out. He put out his hand to put over her shoulder, but she refuted it.
She looked up at him with red eyes that still had tears coming from them. "Just...Just leave me alone, all right?" She cried as she walked past him and into the waiting car.
He wasn't surprised. He knew that she was going to have this kind of reaction to Simon's death. He decided to let it go; or at least for now that is.
~Three Weeks Later~
He wallked over to her office. "Toby, I wouldn't--"
"Carol, it'll be fine, trust me," he said as he opened the door to CJ's office. "Hey, can I come in?"
CJ didn't look up from her desk. She just sat there as if she was catatonic.
He looked at her face. It just didn't look quite right. Was she still mourning the death of Simon? She said she was fine, but she sure didn't look like it. "CJ?"
"Hmm?" She looked up at him. "Oh, hi," she said quietly.
"You all right," he asked as he sat down in one of the chairs in front of her desk.
"Yeah, I'm fine." She tried to fake a smile, but was unsuccessful in doing so. "I just need to be alone right now, okay?"
He sighed. "CJ, you've been acting like this for the past three weeks. Now, I know that you're sad about what happened, but--"
"Sad?!" She looked pointedly at him. "How can I be sad, Toby? It's all my fault that he's dead! If I hadn't said it was fine with me if he went to go file the paperwork during intermission, none of this would have happened!"
He got up and walked around to the other side of her desk and put his hands on her shoulders. "Look at me, CJ. None of this is your fault. It was bound to happen anyway. If it wasn't that, it would have been something else. CJ, you have got to listen to me."
"My fault, it's my fault," she kept saying over and over to herself.
"CJ, no, it's not your fault. Listen to me. This is Toby, your friend talking to you here. Have I ever lied to you?"
She looked at him. "No..."
"Exactly. And I'm not lying to you when I tell you that this is not your fault." He looked at her and put his hand under her chin, thus lifting up her head.
"This is different, Toby. This isn't some guy that dumped me. It's not like I can get back into this relationship." She turned so that his hands were no longer on her shoulders. "Never mind, you wouldn't understand."
"You're right, I don't. You know why?"
"Because you won't let me in your life anymore!" He practically yelled. "Look. When you decide you want to talk, I'll be in my office." He got up and left before she could say anything.
A couple of hours later, there was a knock on his door. "Can I come in," CJ asked as she opened the door just a little.
"Yeah." He put the work he was doing aside and waited for her to sit down.
She came in and sat down. "Listen, about before, I'm sorry...I just...I--"
"CJ, I understand. You're still shocked."
"More like guilt ridden," she said very quietly.
He walked over to her. "Come here." He put his arms out for her.
She wrapped her arms around him and started to cry. "Why does this crap always have to happen to me? I don't get it. It's just not fair."
"I know," he said softly. "I know." He held her for a good twenty minutes. Slowly, she stopped crying.
"Thanks," she said as she backed up a little.
"Anytime. You want to stay here for a while? I know you don't have a briefing until 4:00."
"Yeah, I'd like that." She smiled softly and sat on his sofa.
He sat down beside her. "It's going to be okay. I know you've heard this several times before, but everything will turn out all right."
He smiled softly and put his arms around her and the two just sat there for a while, neither one saying anything. They simply enjoyed one another's company.