TITLE: Our Two Consciences II: How Donna Got Her
Groove Back (1/1)
AUTHOR: Laurel A. (lalden99@yahoo.com)
SPOILERS/RATING: Everything up to, and including, The
Indians in the Lobby/PG
DISCLAIMER: Nothing you see here is mine; it all
belongs to others (i.e. Aaron Sorkin, NBC, WB, etc.).
ARCHIVE: Anyplace, just let me know.
SUMMARY: Post–Ep for The Indians in the Lobby. In the
spirit of Thanksgiving, Donna is feeling thankful.
STUFF: Things I am thankful for: Marty, Peek-A-Boo,
my family, and my friends. This is part of the Our
Two Consciences series by Michelle H. and myself. To
see our fic from last season (and some groovy
stand-alones), check out our website
http://home.att.net/~worstwing/

Well, it seems that there are several things to be
thankful for this year.

I am thankful that my parents haven't moved away from
my hometown and gone to Florida. I am thankful for
direct flights from DC to Madison. I am thankful that
I booked one of those flights months ago.

I am also thankful that my farm-girl ass won't be
wearing an orange prison jumpsuit anytime soon. And I
am very thankful for my job, and for the people I work
with.

Mostly right now though, I am thankful for Josh.

But, you'd think he could call his own mother. That's
where I draw the line. No coffee and no calling his
mother.

I know I've been walking around with a huge stupid
grin on my face today. So let me clarify this whole
"thankful for Josh" thing.

I am usually quite thankful for Josh; letting me talk
my way into this job, allowing me assert myself in a
way that most assistants don't get to, surviving the
shooting, recovering from post traumatic stress
disorder, and showing incredible loyalty in helping me
out of the Cliff Calley thing.

But today, I am particularly thankful that we have our
banter back.

It's been kind of lonely with out it, sort of quiet
and cold. However, things have started to warm up.

See, everybody knows that when you are in elementary
school, the boys only make fun of the girls they like.
Damn, there's that grin again.

But, here's the thing. Through that whole
conversation, I was the one who was mocking him. And
he knew it. Besides, he loves it when I scold him.

While I missed our usual banter, I think I appreciate
it all the more now. Sometimes it's good to be forced
to take a step back. It lets you to reflect on what's
gone on, how you've changed, and where you want to go.

Things have been pulled into sharper focus for me.
The things I am thankful for and the goals that I
have.

Yes, I am a woman with goals and plans. Plans and
goals.

Okay, so I don't have anything actually mapped out.
But I have been thinking seriously again about what I
want in life.

Since we've been dealing with the revelation of
President's MS, and Josh and I dealt with my
disastrous deposition, life has been mostly about
putting out fires. There's been no time to think much
past the next week or so.

My personal goals were shelved for a while. But I
think it's time to take 'em down. And with the added
perspective of my deposition and the Cliff Calley
Catastrophe, I am thinking again about those things
with renewed energy.

I am thinking again about how I want to have more
input on things around here. More than just giving
the "raspberry" to Josh and CJ because all they can
come up with on why someone would want to run for the
presidency is medical research and the internet.

I like that I have the latitude to give the raspberry
and I like that when I explain my logic, I am listened
to. But I have actual ideas too, and I'd like to be
in a better position to voice them.

There are also things I want on a more personal level.

People assume that every woman wants a mature man, a
mature relationship. And of course I want someone who
is going to respect me as an equal and not play games.
But I also want someone I can play with.

Cliff was way too severe, and kind of stiff. He was
cute and funny in his own way; and he was safe. My
parents would have loved him.

But I want someone with more intensity, more passion.
I also want someone I am comfortable with, someone who
will love me, quirks and all. Someone I can feel at
home with.

I want someone who is comfortable and exciting at the
same time.

So this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for Cliff. I am
thankful that that he's reminded of what I want in a
relationship, and where I can find it.

I love the relationship I have with Josh, mature and
immature all at the same time.

Our relationship is this complicated, comforting,
nerve wracking thing. It's pretty complex and kind of
fragile. We maintain a delicate balance.

Our equilibrium was thrown off for a while there, but
I think we've found a way back to our state of
balance. And for that, I am thankful.

END

 

 

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