TITLE: Our Two Consciences II: Perhaps, Perhaps,
Perhaps (1/1)

AUTHOR: Laurel A. (lalden99@yahoo.com -- I ardently
love and admire feedback!)

SPOILERS/RATING: Everything up to, and including, The
Two Bartlets/PG

DISCLAIMER: All of it belongs to others (i.e. Aaron
Sorkin, NBC, WB, etc.).

ARCHIVE: Anyplace, just let me know.

SUMMARY: Post–Ep for The Two Bartlets. Donna mulls
over jury duty, dating a local lawyer, and Josh's
lovemaking.

STUFF: Dedicated to Dr. Harper, my super cool
Geography advisor from college whom I just found out
passed away last year. This is part of the J/D
post-ep series "Our Two Consciences" by Michelle H.
and myself. You don't need to read the other pieces
to jump on in now! To see the rest of the series (and
some groovy stand-alones), check out our website
http://home.att.net/~worstwing/

The ironic thing is, I would make a really good juror.
I love the details of the law and the way attorneys
weave their arguments into these tidy packages
designed to sway you. It's kind of like politics.
But as part of a jury you get to have an equal say in
the outcome of the trial, and I like that idea.

You can only get a deferral so many times before you
have to serve on a jury, or they fine you, toss you in
jail, and then you can never serve.

But the timing is just bad. I work in the White House
for goodness sakes; I think that alone should qualify
me for some sort of permanent waiver. We are trying
to run a country here, you know.

And, for the first time in eons I have what I believe
to be a functional and healthy social life. I don't
want to spend my days in a courtroom and my nights in
the office catching up on work. It's hard enough to
spend an ordinary workweek here and find the time to
date, much less work on functional and healthy.

Things are happening here that I don't want to miss.
Well, things are always happening here. But given the
events of the past several months, there is more going
on. Sure, we were pumped and celebrating after the
State of the Union, but we aren't quite back to our
old selves.

The President is cranky. Toby and CJ can't agree on
the campaign message. Sam is on the verge of
believing in conspiracy theories involving aliens.
And don't think it got past me that Josh gave no
reaction to my declaration of having a boyfriend.

Not to mention that my attempts at banter were
completely unrequited. If our rhythm was off track
after Cliff Calley, we've really de-railed now.

Something is happening with Josh. It's not just that
he has this budding romance with Amy Gardner, it's
more than that, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
It's like he's putting some thought into this
relationship, as opposed to the usual flippant
treatment he gives the women he dates. I think that's
what makes me nervous.

When Margaret first told me about Leo's 5:30 am phone
call to Josh I could feel the jealous bitter taste in
the back of my mouth and a knot in my stomach.

But, after re-telling the story a few times myself,
referring to it as 1-900-Josh's-Sex-Line, it got kind
of funny, in a sad, bitter way. Besides, humor at the
expense of others is always the best way to deal with
things that make you uncomfortable, right?

I thought perhaps I loved Josh. Maybe I do. I
thought perhaps he had feelings for me too. Maybe he
does, but maybe now he's starting to love Amy. Maybe
I could love my lawyer too.

But part of me is wondering if Josh and I have
deferred one too many times whatever feelings there
are between us because of where we work and who we
work for. The timing is just bad, and there are only
so many times you can defer before you have to move
on.

END