FF: Our Two Consciences: Reality Called (1/1)

TITLE: Our Two Consciences: Reality Called (1/1)
AUTHOR: Laurel A. (lalden99@yahoo.com) -- Love that
SPOILERS: Everything up to, and including, Bad Moon
DISCLAIMER: Not mine; Aaron Sorkin's.
ARCHIVE: Archive anyplace, just let me know.
SUMMARY: Donna mulls over the progress of her
"relationship" with Josh after the events of Bad Moon
AUTHORS NOTE: Thanks to Michelle who supported me
through Bad Broadway Fic, and who offered to love BW
twice as much while I have been almost completely
distracted by Colin Firth.

This is the next installment in the Josh/Donna Post-Ep
POV series, "Our Two Consciences" by Michelle Hoffmann
and myself (although you don't have to have read any
of the others to jump on in now):

Roles by Laurel A.
Masks by Michelle H.
Donna Moss Talks About Sex and Joey Lucas by Laurel A.
Josh Lyman Talks About Strategy by Michelle H.
Late At Night In The Soft Warm Glow by Laurel A.
Perfect Clarity by Michelle H.
I Confess by Laurel A.
Static Electricity by Michelle H.
Change, Gratitude, and the Heartbreak Turtles by
Laurel A.
Transformation by Michelle H.
Filibusters, Falls, and Feline Avengers by Michelle H.
Bast, a Bowler, and Bucking for a Promotion by Laurel
Take, Take Me Home by Laurel A.
The Very First Lie by Michelle H.

I got a phone message when I got home tonight. Well,
not really, but since Josh and I were playing the "you
got a phone message" game tonight with the Mexico
bail-out, I am on a roll here, so just go with it...

The phone message was Reality calling. Reality said
that my relationship with Josh has changed
considerably in the last few months. Reality said
something about things changing around the time that
Joey Lucas was here.

Ah yes, I have to agree with Reality. Joey Lucas was
here just when I was starting to face my feelings for
Josh, and just when I was beginning to formulate my
plan. The plan was to tell myself that I was okay
with how I felt about Josh, no matter how he felt
about me.

Reality begs to differ. Reality says that Josh is
catching up to me; that his feelings for me are
growing. And, Reality says that it has outwardly
changed the way Josh acts toward me. Reality is my
new best friend.

Josh and I do seem to have a bit of a different groove
going than we used to. Take tonight, for example. We
were doing our same old I Am A Taxpayer song and
dance, where I gripe to him about what I, as a
taxpayer, think of government spending, and we banter
about it. We walk the halls of the West Wing and
banter. We know the steps to this little dance quite
well; I chase him around the halls while he dashes to
and from meetings, we taunt and tease each other about
the topic at hand, and we get testy and short with
each other until I allow the subject to be dropped.

Tonight though, while we were doing the taxpayer's
tango, there was a different feel to it, a kindler
gentler feel (if you will pardon the reference). It's
almost the opposite of the AA thing I quoted today;
Josh and I do the same thing over and over and expect
the _same_ results. Only now, we have started to get
_different_ results; we are progressing. Our
relationship is progressing. And as scared as I was a
few months ago at the thought of telling Josh how much
he means to me, this progress feels really natural

When you start to sense that the person you are
attracted to might actually feel the same way, you
would expect that there would be fireworks or thunder
and lightning, or something symbolically significant.
But this feels more like a soft drizzle than thunder
and lightning, like when it's sprinkling out side and
you are happy to be feeling all warm and snug right
where you are. Well, that warm and snug feeling is
coming right from the person that you, yourself, are
feeling warm and snug about.

I got that warm and snug feeling today when he dug up
the 8th grade social studies textbook. I was
beginning to feel foolish, with Josh using Hitler as a
metaphor for helping out Mexico, but as soon as he
handed me that textbook, the mood softened. Instead
of getting testy about the whole thing, he was
changing the tenor of our dance. He was dancing
non-regulation steps! (Sorry for the Strictly
Ballroom reference there!) He was using the book to
get us to move from our tense tango into a slower
waltz. Reality also says that I tend to over use
ridiculous metaphors.

Anywho, when Josh smiled at me as I handed back the
textbook, I left the room wondering if I was imagining
that things were changing between us. It was the
smile that tipped me off. It wasn't the giant Look At
My Dimples grin he uses to show-off. This one was
more intimate and personal, it was a smile he wouldn't
give to anyone else; it was just for me.

Oops, I just got a call waiting beep from Reality
asking me if I was going to call her back or if I was
going to spend the rest of the evening here on the
phone with Hopeless Romantic. Reality also wanted to
remind me that while snug and warm are indeed a very
present reality with Josh, working in the White House
is also a reality, and that just because Josh might
"like me, like me" doesn't mean that there is an
immediate and happy ending in this for us.




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