Comfort through Trials - Revelations

Archive: If you want it, take it. Just let me know where it's going.

Rating: PG

Spoilers: A bit from HSFTTT, nothing else that I know of.

Author's Notes: Sequel to "Comfort through Trials - Green eyed".
This is part of a series I am working on.

Disclaimer: They're not mine, I just borrow them to play with.

There's this weight on my chest, and I have to open my eyes to see what
it is. I'm greeted by a tangle of dark brown hair, and I can't help but
smile, at least until I realize the alarm clock will start beeping at me
in less than two minutes. Damn, I don't want to move. Not only will I
wake Lisa up, but I'm still a little tired from last night. I forgot what
it was like to have a personal life. My job sort of interferes with that.

She must feel me shifting, because she turns her head and gives me a soft
drowsy smile. "How do you feel?" She's debating her answer, I can see it
in her eyes. "My ribs hurt a bit, but I'm okay. I'll be okay." She
fibbing. I can tell. I shouldn't have been quite so.... enthusiastic last
night, but I just.... I had to remind myself that she was still alive,
and still with me. Granted I could have thought of something better than
shower acrobatics, but I'll know better next time.

Lisa shifts her head from my chest to my pillow as the alarm begins to
buzz, and I ache at the loss of contact. Why can't I just miss the staff
meeting and go in later? She props her head up on her elbow and kisses me
as I try to untangle the covers. You know, I'm not real clear on falling
asleep last night, but I usually sleep in clothes of some sort, even if
it's just a pair of boxers. Last night wasn't all that typical, 'cause
all I have on is the sheet. If that's all I'm wearing then.... No, I am
not going to finish that thought, 'cause if I do, I'm never going to get
out of bed. Speaking of getting out of bed, I have to be in the office in
20 minutes, so I had better start moving.

*

"Sam?" Okay, CJ. It's too early in the morning for this to be good. "Do
you have a minute?" Sure CJ, I've got all day, 'cause I just write the
speeches for the most powerful man in the world and squeeze congressional
meetings in on the side. Woah, glad I didn't say that out loud. "I've
been getting some questions about a prescription bottle Lisa had on her
during the accident. Something about lithium.... Does Lisa take lithium?"
Okay, she didn't ask if I take it, so someone isn't asking the right
questions. "No, she doesn't. If she did, why would it matter?"

CJ gives me this look like I just fell off of the turnip truck. "Well,
let's see. We're already taking flak for Leo's running the Department of
Labor while high. Do you want to tell everyone his deputy was busy being
manic-depressive?" Okay, the way she says that, it sounds bad, but I
didn't work for Leo. Maybe I can do this without the fallout. Wait, CJ's
not done yet. "Let's not forget that she wrote half of the democratic
platform and most of our convention speeches.... People would have a fit.
But that's not an issue, right?" I take a deep breath. I'm not lying, so
it should be fine, but I feel bad. I'm not lying though, I'm misleading.
"CJ, I can assure you, not only has Lisa never taken lithium, she is most
assuredly not manic-depressive."

She's giving me this look now, and I sort of feel guilty, but not much.
No, not much at all. I'm protecting myself, and it's feels good. I can't
expect Josh and Lisa to defend me forever. Well, actually, I can, but I'm
doing this for me. CJ can't quite decide what to do next, I can see it on
her face. She gets up to leave. Yes! I'm off the hook. "Sam?" Uh-oh. "So
Lisa didn't have lithium on her when she was hit?" I can't lie to CJ. Not
only do I not want to lie to CJ, because she's a friend, but I can't lie
to CJ. She always knows as soon as I do. She's worse than my mother like
that. "Sam?"

"She did have a bottle of lithium, Lithane actually, on her, except it
wasn't hers. It's mine." She gets real quiet then. She's like Josh, when
she gets quiet, it's scary. I'm sufficiently scared. "Yours?" I'm
nodding, and she just keeps staring at me. "Does Leo know?" Shake my head
a bit, and she puts her head in her hands. "Oh Sam. Why didn't you ever
tell us? You know, we can figure a way out of this." Didn't she just say
if it was Lisa it would be a disaster? How can it be okay now if it's me?
Maybe I'm not the crazy one in this room.

No, now CJ's giving me that look. My mother gave me that look. Lisa gave
me that look when I told her. CJ should not, under any circumstances, be
giving me that look. "So what should I tell them?" Hell CJ, if I knew
that, I wouldn't have kept it a secret for so long, but I couldn't even
tell Lisa. I asked her to marry me and wouldn't let her answer until she
talked to Stanley. How am I supposed to talk to the press? I could just
quit and save everyone a lot of trouble, and I tell her that. She looks
shocked for a second, and says no. "Sam, after the shooting, when I said
I didn't feel like I owed you anything.... I lied. I'll hold off the
press even if I have to pretend it was my prescription."

See, it's moments like that when I think CJ doesn't regard me as
someone's lost puppy dog. Granted, she'll be back to yelling by tomorrow,
but I'm fine with that. Josh is already acting weird enough for everyone
around here. I don't think I could take it if CJ started weirding out on
me too.

I make her swear not to tell Leo unless someone prints something, and she
doesn't say anything. I hope that means yes. I couldn't take it if Leo
started looking at me like that, like I might break at any minute, like I
might flip out. Plus, I'm pretty sure the Secret Service has something
against nuts working for the President. I'm still surprised that it
didn't come out in their background checks. I'm pretty sure Ron
Butterfield knows my shoe size now, so why doesn't he know what drugs I
was taking?

As if my morning hasn't been enough of a shock, CJ walks around my desk
before she leaves and gives me a hug. CJ's thinks I need a hug? Heaven
help me.

*

I almost make it to lunch without breaking a sweat. Then Cathy knocks
softly and peeks her head in the door. "Sam, can I bring you something
for lunch?" I tell her to pick me up something from the mess, or wherever
she's going, and fully expect her to ask for money as thid meek phase
passes. She doesn't. Instead, she insists that I tell her what I really
want for lunch. Okay, I'm scared of Cathy for a reason. It's comforting
actually. What did CJ say to her? I know she wouldn't tell my assistant
something like that behind my back, so what did she say?

I don't have too long to ponder this, because as soon as Cathy leaves and
I pick up the phone to call Lisa and check on her, Josh is at the door.
He's got these big sad eyes. Now, I know he and CJ have talked. Not only
is he wearing that look, but he comes right out and says he talked to CJ.
With that tone of voice it can only mean one thing. I don't get a chance
to pump him for information before a confused looking Donna knocks on the
door. The President wants to see me. Well, aren't I a popular guy today.

Mrs. Landringham offers me two cookies on my way to the Oval Office.
Okay, I know CJ did not tell Mrs. Landringham, so maybe this is just my
paranoia kicking in, but I think I'm about to have a heart to heart with
the President. Oh, this cannot be good. She sends me right in, and tells
me he's waiting for me. The President's waiting for me? No, this cannot
be good.

He's sitting behind his desk, with his glasses perched on his nose. Just
like every other time I've been in the Oval, I can feel myself stand at
attention. "Mr. President, you asked to see me?" He stands up, and
gestures toward the couch. We sit down, and I feel like he's waiting for
me to say something. What exactly am I supposed to say? Didn't CJ say
she'd keep this quiet? She cannot have told the President. "Sam, I talked
to CJ this morning." Kill me now.

"I just wanted to let you know, I won't let you get fired for this." My
mouth is open, but there's no sound coming out. Okay, I thought I
understood him defending me during the Laurie thing. I mean, not really,
but sort of. This, this is above and beyond the line of duty. "No, sir.
It's alright. I don't want to do anything to hurt this administration." I
have to stop and swallow the lump in my throat. Maybe Lisa and I can both
move to New York, or maybe I can convince her to come back to California
with me. Yeah, right. "Sam, I know you're ready to fall on your sword
here, but I don't think it's necessary." Alright, now he's off on some
trivia tangent. Something about warriors coming home with their shields
or on them. I don't really understand it, and experience tells me I don't
really want to.

Wait. I'm zoning out on the President. That cannot be good. "..... and
what I think I'm trying to say is that you remind me of me." Excuse me?
No, I am nothing like Jed Bartlett. For one, I'm not that smart, and for
two, I won't ever be President. I pretty much knew that when they put me
on drugs. "There are only a couple people who know this Sam, and since CJ
told me about your problem, I'm going to let you in on it." I'm nodding
dumbly. I will kill CJ when I leave here, it's just.... woah! Why is he
reminding me that not even Josh knows this? How bad can it..... The
President has MS? MS meaning multiple sclerosis? That's... that's....
okay, I really didn't need to know that. Besides, that's different, I
mean, it's a physical thing. He's not.... well, I mean... You can't be a
politician if they think you're crazy.

Still, the President has..... I think I'm going to go to Josh's office
and lie down on his couch.

 

 

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