Disclaimer: They aren't mine, and unfortunately no money's flowing my way

Summary: Josh finishes his e-mail to his Mom

Spoilers: SGTE, SGTJ & TSF

Archive: Anywhere

Death from a Banana

By Mer

Part 1/1

Anyway, Mom did I mention that a couple of weeks ago I almost got killed again? I don't think I did. You see it was Big Block of Cheese Day. I know Dad would want me to explain but all I'm going to say about the history behind the day is that it is a day when we hear the concerns of groups that the White House doesn't normally pay attention to.

I was really bored at my meeting so I snuck over to C.J.'s meeting. Mom, did you know that there are people that think the traditional map of the world is wrong? They say...well, actually, I don't remember what they said exactly; I just know that no country has been sized right or even placed in the right position. They showed us a map of the world and how it was supposed to look and everything was totally screwed up.

After, I had my fun at that meeting, cause believe me those people were nuts I went to visit Toby. He was talking to a group of a hundred or so protesters of the WTO. I just went to show him some moral support. Toby's speech was kicking...Toby's speech was excellent. But then when we were walking out that's when it happened.

Mom, I never would've gone if I knew that they were going to be throwing fruit. As we were leaving they hit me right in the face with a banana. Can you believe that? Man, I get no respect; I mean I wasn't even the one giving the speech...

Okay, anyway back to tonight, Donna figured out that the reason the Senator was objecting to my bill was that his grandson was autistic. I would've thought more about adding his plan to the bill if he had just mentioned it. But I guess the Senator is a proud man and he didn't want to have to use his grandson as a reason.

I'm glad that Donna figured it out though, because I get to go to see the Mets in Spring Training tomorrow. Donna was mocking me, and come to think of it so was C.J. There's nothing wrong with wanting to watch America's Favorite Past Time is there?

Oh, you wanted to know how Sam was. Well, he's still a little angry at his father, but I think he's starting to work things out with him. After the banana incident we all went and got him drunk. Leo had told me that morning that Sam had been sleeping in Toby's office, so we all got him drunk and I took him home. It's just something that we all do here.

Donna went with us and you know she only me have one beer. She kept mocking me by saying that I have a sensitive system. I have no idea what she is talking about, do you? So, I had my one beer and then I took a very drunken Sam home. When he woke up the next morning he had a severe hangover, but I had spent the night on his couch just to make sure that he was okay.

When I'm drunk usually it's Donna who watches over me. She says its because I'm an adorable drunk. But I think it's because C.J. doesn't want to have a P.R. nightmare or something. But I could be wrong because none of the other assistants watch over their bosses the way that Donna watches over me.

Hey Mom, when you came to visit me while I was recovering what did you think of Donna? Lately, I've been thinking more and more about her. I guess it's just something that someone said that has been bothering me. Is it wrong to think of my assistant...okay I'm going to just end that sentence there.

I think I had better wrap this up anyway; Donna has been coming in and out of my office. Can you believe that she's actually so pleased with herself that she is using one of my phrases? Oh the phrase she stole from me is, "I drink from the keg of glory." But explaining that is another story. I think I had better go and steal her beer from her. Talk to you later Mom.





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