Disclaimer: I don't own most of these characters but I wish I could.

How do I live

By Mer

Part 5

A nurse came in and she said I could go see Donna now. C.J. promised to wait in the waiting room for me. I just nodded and I hobbled after the nurse. I was still really upset at myself for not being able to see the signs. I should've seen that something was wrong. How could I have been so stupid?

I reached Donna's room and I felt a lump rise up in my throat. I slowly made my way in to her room. She looked so pale lying there. Her blond her was kind of spread out on the pillow so it made her look like an angel.

 

And tell me now

How do I live without you

How do I breathe without you

"Donna, sweetheart if you didn't really want me to go to Buffalo you could have just told me." I joked a little as I sat down in the chair beside her.

She was hooked up to machines and it scared me a little. But I knew that the machines were telling me that she was alive. And from my experience I even knew what the machines were for. I noticed one that was measuring the babies' heart rates. It seemed to be a little fast for me, but I wasn't an expert on those types of things.

"Donna, I'm here for you now. I want you to know that I need you. I need you to stay here with the triplets and me. Come on we haven't even named them yet." I said gently.

But there was no response. I hadn't really figured there would be. I took one of her hands. The skin felt so cold. I rubbed my hand over it to try and warm it up a little.

"C.J. talked to me today. Yea, I know you are going to get mad but I forced a confession out of her. She told me what you had wanted to say to me this morning. I hope you don't get too mad at me. Triplets, wow that's a wonderful thing. There's going to be three little versions of you around." I said with a smile.

Still I got no response. I wanted to just jump in the bed and hold her in my arms. But somehow I knew that I could get in a ton of trouble for that. So I just let things be.

"Donna, you have to promise not to leave me okay? Please I need you. I need you here with me. You know how much I need you." I said as tears began to fall down my cheeks.

 

If you ever go

How do I ever

Ever survive

I sat with her for a while but then they came in and said that they needed to run some more tests on her. The nurse suggested that I go down get some coffee. She promised to send someone down if anything changed.

"Want to grab some crappy coffee?" I asked as I went back to the waiting room.

"I guess I'm up for it." C.J. smiled.

"So does everybody know?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah. If anything major happens we are supposed to call Toby and Sam back. Mrs. Bartlet is at a function, when she gets back I think she's going to come with the president." C.J. replied as we stepped into the elevator.

"What about the press?" I asked slowly, pressing the button for the cafeteria.

"Well, it's kind of hard not to miss an ambulance rushing away from The White House, but for right now we haven't told them anything yet. I was waiting until we heard some more news." C.J. replied.

"That's understandable." I replied slowly.

"Josh, Leo told me to tell you to stay here for as long as you need too. He's not going to pull you away unless he absolutely has too." C.J. assured.

"How nice of him." I commented dryly.

"Josh, you are the..." C.J. began as the doors slid open.

"Claudia Jean, I'm well aware of what my position in this administration is. And I know that I have been out twice this past year due to job related injuries." I said before she could finish.

"No one wants you to leave Donna's side unless..." C.J. said began and stopped herself.

C.J. stopped herself because she knew that she could go in one or two directions. One of the ways she could've gone was to say that I wouldn't leave Donna's side until she was better. But the other way was that wouldn't leave her side unless she was dead. And I'm pretty sure she was about to blurt out the second way.

"I get the point, C.J." I snapped as I grabbed a cup of coffee.

"Josh, don't get mad at me." C.J. pleaded, grabbing a cup herself.

"I'm not mad at you C.J. I'm just worried about Donna." I replied.

"I know you are, but she's going to be fine." C.J. said as we paid the cashier.

"I hope your right." I said as I sat down at a secluded table.

"So what really happened today?" C.J. asked changing the subject.

"What do you mean what really happened today?" I asked raising my eyebrows.

"With your knee." She said as she pointed to it.

Man, she will not let me live this down. If it had been Sam she would've just have thrown it up to him being a klutz and she would've let it drop. But no she had to ask me like I was fragile boy, and that every little scratch was going to kill me. I resented that.

"C.J. can we just drop the stupid knee thing?" I asked, knowing she wouldn't.

"Not until you tell me what happened. When I talked to Toby earlier..." She began but I cut her off.

"What did Toby say?" I asked icily.

"He said that you both got into an argument." C.J. said slowly.

"Damn right we got into an argument. I don't know what the hell his problem was, but he's lucky I fell." I snapped.

"So you two were fighting?" C.J. asked, her eyes opening wide.

"More like he was fighting and I was defending." I retorted angrily.

"And what was Sam doing?" C.J. asked trying to keep calm.

"At first he was trying to defend me, and then I think he was trying to break it up." I sighed.

"Were any punches thrown?" C.J. asked in her press secretary voice.

"None that made any contact." I snapped, wishing yet again my punch had been connected.

"Okay, sorry I asked. So have you and Donna thought up any names?" C.J. asked swiftly changing the subject.

"No, but Sam and I did." I smiled.

"Oh brother, what names did you come up with?" C.J. asked as she rolled her eyes.

"Samuel Toby and Leo Josiah for boys, this was before I knew there were three of them. And Margaret Claudia and Cathy Jean for girls." I replied.

"Oh man and the president let's Sam write speeches for him?" C.J. mocked.

"Okay do you have any better ideas?" I asked.

"Well, I found this on your desk. I think it was the names that Donna really liked." C.J. said as she fished out a piece of paper.

"Noah James, Nathaniel Jared, and Nicholas Jeremy for boys, Julia Nicole, Jessica Natalie, and Joanie..." I stopped as my voice caught on the last girl name.

"What's wrong?" C.J. asked.

"How did she know?" I asked quietly.

"How did she know what?" C.J. asked in a confused voice.

"That my sister's name was Joanie Nora Lyman?" I said slowly.

"The one who died when you were little?" C.J. asked.

"Uh huh." I replied as I continued to stare down at the name.

"Maybe she just asked Leo or something. Did you ever tell her that you had a sister who died?" C.J. asked.

"I might have mentioned it once or twice. But I didn't realize she remembered." I replied.

"So are you going to go with the names?" C.J. asked softly.

"If I need too. But I really want to talk to her about it first. I don't want to have to do this alone." I replied quietly.

"You won't have too. Donna's going to wake up before the babies' are born. But even if she doesn't you still have me and the rest of your co-workers." C.J. assured.

"I hope that you are right." I sighed.

Before she could open her mouth to reassure me a nurse came running over to us.

"Josh Lyman?" She asked in a hurried voice.

"Yes, I'm Josh." I replied quickly.

"Come with me please. The babies' heart rates have all fallen to a dangerously low rate. He thinks that they might need to be delivered." She said.

And for the second time that day I longed to have my wheelchair back. It really hurt to walk on my knee. C.J. noticed this and she found an abandoned wheelchair and shoved me in it.

"Ouch." I muttered as she began pushing the chair.

"You will get that looked at later." She muttered.

"Where did you learn how to drive?" I asked as C.J. nearly ran me into a huge plant.

"Shut up Gimpy." C.J. snapped.

So I shut up and we went back to the elevator. Once we got back up to Donna's floor we saw that she was being wheeled out. People were screaming out numbers to each other. Numbers that meant nothing to me, but I knew they were bad.

"Josh we have to deliver the triplets now or they'll die." Dr. Carmine said as he saw us.

"How's Donna?" I asked.

"She appears to be okay at the moment. It's the babies' that I'm worried about. I'm sorry." Dr. Carmine said as he ran after the gurney carrying my whole world.

 

How do I

How do I

Oh how do I live

 How Do I Live - 6

 

 

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