Disclaimer: These characters belong to Aaron Sorkin and the other people at NBC. And the song is not mine either.

This story is set two months after Noel takes place, but the shows in between didn't happen.

I'll be

By Mer

Part 1

Today was not a very good morning for Josh. I mean not many of them are, but today was definitely not his day. Yesterday, President Bartlett and the rest of the main West Wing staff flew to Chicago to try and help out a pilot/stewardess strike that was affecting the whole nations air travel. Every staff member except Josh, that is.

President Bartlett didn't come right out and say it but Josh was left because of his PSTD. I guess they were afraid that he would freak out or something. But Josh had gotten a lot of counseling and he had been better for a while. And he was beginning to wonder if they would ever stop holding it against him.

I had begun to examine my relationship with him. I had been the one to help him physically recover after he was shot. And I had been a little bit helpful when he was dealing with his Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He hadn't asked me for too much help then, because he needed to go back to that horrible place and he didn't want to take me with him. He felt that I had already been through too much.

When darkness falls upon your heart and soul
I'll be the light that shines for you
When you can't find your way
I'll find my way to you

But I cared about him. I mean I had known that for a while now, but I was beginning to wonder if maybe it was more than that. I was beginning to wonder if I could be in love with him. I had a boyfriend and I cared about him, but it seemed like I was thinking about Josh's needs more than Robbie's.

"Donnatella!!!" Josh screamed from his office, and interrupted my thoughts.

I rolled my eyes and headed to his desk. Just because most of the staff was gone it didn't give him permission to scream at the top of his lungs. It was so loud that C.J. was probably chuckling about it in Chicago.

"What?" I asked after he screamed my name two more times.

"When is my meeting with Senator Harris?" Josh asked.

"It's right there on your calendar in front of you." I said pointing at his desk.

"Really, to me that says Setor Hers at tube." Josh replied.

"I have a distinct penmanship." I countered.

"I think it's time we send you back to grammar school." Josh threatened.

"Your meeting is at three." I translated.

"And what writing the number three is out because?" Josh asked.

"Because you can't read that either." I pointed out.

"Oh yeah. Remind me to fire you." Josh replied.

"Will do." I laughed.

I walked out to my desk and the phone rang. Before I could answer it, I heard Josh pick it up. I must really be fired, I laughed to myself.

"Donna, some GUY is here to see you." Josh yelled out with a harsh empathizes on the word guy.

Two minutes later, my boyfriend of a month, Robbie Alistair appeared. He had some flowers for me. I could hear Josh gagging from his office. I ignored him and gave Robbie a kiss. I could kiss Robbie, but I couldn't kiss Josh. Maybe I could love two guys? It is possible to love two guys, right?

"Thank you." I said when I pulled away.

"Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady." Robbie replied.

"What brings you by?" I asked with a smile.

"Oh I thought that I could take you to lunch." Robbie answered and suddenly Josh appeared.

"Robbie Alistair, meet my boss, Josh Lyman." I introduced.

"Mr. Lyman, it is a pleasure to finally meet you." Robbie said as they shook hands.

I watched Josh's face very carefully. His eyebrows shot up. He hated being called Mr. Lyman. I could tell that he hated Robbie already. He started to open his mouth, but I beat him to it.

"Robbie and I were just leaving for lunch." I challenged.

"Oh you were?" Josh replied flabbergasted.

"Yes, I am taking her to Madam Christine's." Robbie said not realizing that Josh was going to tell me no.

"Madam Christine's...that's a pretty fancy joint." Josh said absently.

"I thought so." Robbie replied.

I saw Josh getting madder by the second. But to his credit he was holding his emotions in check. Robbie appeared to be buying that stupid grin that Josh had plastered on his face. But I knew that it meant Josh hated Robbie. Well, I already knew that from a fight we had a couple of weeks earlier, but now I think he felt he was justified in hating Robbie.

"C'mon let's go. Josh I promise to be back by one." I said as I grabbed Robbie's hand.

"It was nice meeting you, Mr. Lyman." Robbie stated.

We began to walk away before Josh could protest too much. But I know he was left standing there with his mouth wide open. I half-expected him to chase after me, but I guess even Josh had a little more tact than that. No he was going to yell at me later, away from witnesses.

Robbie took me to Madam Christine's an upscale type of restaurant. It was the type of place that I imagined Josh took his dates to. It had sort of a romantic mood but it wasn't necessarily that type of place. I had always wanted to go there and I was excited.

As we were finishing our lunch I noticed that Robbie had gotten kinda quiet all of a sudden. He looked like he had something serious on his mind. I thought his silence was a good sign. I mean he did look a little nervous. But I was unprepared for what he was about to say.

"Donna, we have been dating for a month now. And we have had some really good times. My job is transferring me to Germany, and I was wondering if you'd like to go with me?" Robbie asked hopefully.

"Robbie." I said quietly.

"I know that is it is sudden. I don't expect you say yes. I mean we haven't even known each other that long. But it's not like you have a career or anything that you would be leaving behind." Robbie replied.

I about choked on the glass of water I had taken a sip out of. I guess he didn't consider me working for Josh to be a career. I was deeply hurt by that. Robbie continued on though.

"Donna, you are a really great person, and don't get me wrong, I love spending time with you but you have such a crappy job. You are so devoted to Josh and he doesn't care about you at all. You need to take a job where you are appreciated. You need a fresh start." Robbie said.

"I like my crappy job." I defended.

"I think you like working with a sex symbol. But Donna you don't need that, you are a sex symbol." Robbie corrected.

"I don't know what to say." I stuttered.

"Move to Germany with me Donna. Move to Germany and have my babies." Robbie pleaded.

"What?" I asked.

"I want you to be the mother of my children." Robbie repeated.

"Robbie, I don't want to move to Germany with you." I replied slowly.

"I sense there is a but in there." Robbie stated.

"I might already be the mother of your child." I blurted out.

Damn, Damn, I wasn't ready to tell him yet. I didn't know with absolute certainty. I wasn't even sure if I was ready to have a baby. Or if I even wanted to be the mother of Robbie's children. I watched Robbie's face for any positive signs. He got a weird look.

"Donna, I'm not sure if I am ready to be a father." He replied quietly.

"I'm not even sure that I am yet." I stated absently, like it was no big deal.

"Oh Donna, what are we going to do if you are?" Robbie asked.

"I don't know." I replied.

"I can see if I can get transferred somewhere in the U.S. would that be better?" Robbie asked.

"I don't know." I sighed.

Oh what was I going to do? Now, Robbie, a guy that I cared a great deal about was going to have to change his plans. This baby might be a bad idea. But then maybe I wasn't even pregnant. And why was I suddenly worried that Robbie would be the guy of my dreams? Isn't that what I wanted?

"We will figure something out. I promise that I will not bail on my child. He is the most important thing to me." Robbie said.

Suddenly, he went from wanting me to move with him to the baby I might be carrying was the most important thing. I was a little upset about that. Robbie caught the look on my face. He knew that he had messed up.

"I didn't mean for that to sound that way." Robbie replied slowly.

"I'd hope not." I said bitterly.

"Donna, I care about you a lot. Hell, I probably even love you. But I have always dreamed about being a father. Look, I have to leave in a few hours to go to a meeting in Germany. I'll be back by the weekend. Hopefully, I will have more of an idea then." Robbie said.

"Okay." I replied and then glanced at my watch.

Oh no I am so totally late. And Josh had to give a press briefing. He was already in a bad mood about that because C.J. had told him not to make any headlines. Josh was still being harassed by the last press briefing he gave. I wasn't there to make sure that he didn't make any blunders.

When troubles come around
I will come to you

"What's wrong?" Robbie asked after my face paled.

"It's one-fifty one. And I promised Josh that I would be back by one. It'll be two-thirty before I'll get back." I lamented, leaving the press briefing out.

"Lyman can handle things without you for awhile." Robbie replied.

I was getting the feeling that Robbie didn't like Josh, as much as Josh didn't like him. Oh boy. We paid and left the restaurant. On the car ride back, Robbie started to rip into Josh and to my loyalty to him. I defended Josh for a while but then I stopped. Oh God what had I done? I cared about Robbie and I cared about Josh. What was I gonna do?

I'll Be - 2



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