Disclaimer: These characters belong to Aaron Sorkin and the other people at NBC. And the song is not mine either.

I'll be

By Mer

Part 4

I know I already told you that my bad day was bound to get worse by the minute. Well, it did. Not only was I ambushed by Aaron, Donna might be moving away with her boyfriend, I had an unproductive meeting with a Senator, a couple of planes crashed, Donna begged me not to drink, oh yeah and my cousin died. Sounds like a pretty bad day to me. I never should've promised Donna that I wouldn't drink. I deserved to get drunk last night.

I went home around nine last night and I received a call from my aunt. We didn't really get along but she was calling to tell me that Amy had been on the second plane. Amy was my cousin, but she had also been Joanie's best friend. Now my sister, and the person who acted like my sister, were both dead.

I really couldn't get to sleep last night but I tried. I knew that Donna would be worried about bags under my eyes. She would assume that I had been out drinking. I couldn't let her think that so willed myself to sleep. I willed myself into a type of restless sleep that forced me awake every couple of hours or so.

I got up and headed into work. Donna would be proud of me, I was actually going to be early. I couldn't wait to see her. I needed to talk to her about Amy's death. I needed her this morning.

But she wasn't at her desk. I sighed and I headed into my office. I was about to flip the light on when I heard sobbing. I turned to see Donna lying on my couch, curled into a fetal position. What did that bastard do to her? Wait, must comfort first, kill bastard later.

"Donna, what happened?" I asked.

"Robbie was..." Her voice turned into loud sobs.

Suddenly, it dawned on me. Robbie must've been in the plane crash too. Oh man, Donna looks really shattered. I doubt now is the best time to tell her about Amy. So I gathered Donna up in my arms and I rocked her as she cried on my shoulder.

I'll be your shoulder
When you need someone to lean on
Be your shelter
When you need someone to see you though
I'll be there to carry you
I'll be there

"It's okay." I soothed.

"No it's not." She said pulling away from me.

"What?" I asked a little worried about her outburst.

"Because I think I'm carrying Robbie's child." She shouted.

Her words chilled me. She was carrying Robbie's child. That bastard was going to have a legacy? Wait, can't let Donna know I'm thinking about that. Have to be strong for her right now. Have to make her see that I care about her. Have to tell her that I love her.

"Donna, I love you." I said softly.

"Josh." She said in a warning tone.

"I'm serious. Donnatella Moss, I am in love with you. I've been racking my brain all week trying to figure out how to tell you." I assured her.

"This isn't funny Josh. I have a baby on the way and a dead father, I really don't need your jokes right now." Donna replied.

"Marry me Donna. I love you, so marry me. Marry me and let me help you raise the baby." I stated.

Did those words just come out of my mouth? From the shocked look on Donna's face I guess that means they did. Oh please say yes please say yes. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please say yes.

"You would do that for me?" Donna asked quietly.

"I love you, Donna. I would do anything for you." I replied softly.

"You understand what that means right? You are offering to marry me and help me raise a child that isn't your own. Could you really love a child that you didn't sire?" Donna asked.

"I understand what I'm saying. Donna, I will love any child that comes from you. I want to be the baby's father. A father isn't just the person who sires a child; a father is someone who is a part of that child's life. A person who cares enough to put the child's welfare before their own." I replied.

"Josh, what about Leo? What is he going to say about this?" Donna asked.

"I don't care what Leo thinks. Donna, he told me that I would have a job here as long as he did. If he backs out on that promise then I will just quit." I replied looking deep into her eyes as I said that.

"Yes. I will marry you, Josh." Donna said as tears began to streak down her cheeks.

"No need to cry now." I said as I gently caressed her tears away.

"These are happy tears." Donna explained with a half-smile.

We continued to sit there on the couch. I had my arms around her and it felt so right. I loved her and I truly did want to make her happy. I wanted to hold her for the rest of my life. We sat there for the longest time just holding each other, until Donna broke the silence.

"Where do you want to get married?" Donna asked.

"I was kind of thinking Hawaii." I said, knowing that she had always wanted to go there.

"Seriously?" Donna asked.

"Seriously, I thought we could sneak away this weekend." I replied with a grin.

"I can't believe we are really going to do this." Donna stated.

"Actually it is not official yet." I said as I jumped off the couch.

"Why what's wrong?" Donna asked terrified.

I ignored her and I went and pulled an old box from one of my shelves. I sheltered the box so that she could not see what I was doing. I lifted the lid and I found an old pearl ring that was surrounded by a couple of diamonds. It had belonged to my grandmother. I took the ring over to Donna and I slipped it on her finger.

"Now we are officially engaged." I said as I bent down to kiss her.

"Josh this is beautiful. Where did you get this? You haven't been planning this have you?" Donna asked astonished by the ring's beauty.

"This ring belonged to my grandmother." I said quietly.

"Your grandmother? Oh Josh I can't accept this then." Donna replied.

"Please. My grandfather gave it to me and he told me to give it to the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I love you Donna and you would do me a great honor by wearing my grandma's wedding ring." I answered.

"But how? I mean wasn't she at a concentration camp?" Donna asked softly.

"She was, but they both managed to keep it hidden. She didn't want to lose the ring because if she lost him..." My voice trailed off at the thought.

"Then she would always have the ring to symbolize their love." Donna finished.

"Exactly. After the war my grandfather had it engraved. I know you won't be able to read it, but it says our love is too strong to kill. It was a direct shot at the Nazi's." I replied.

"Oh Josh." Donna said as she wrapped her arms around me.

"That's how much I love you." I replied softly.

I'll be the rock that will be strong for you
The one that will hold on to you
When you feel that rain falling down
When there's no one else around
I'll be

The rest of the day went by in a blur. The walkout was ended because of the planes colliding. The pilots and stewardess's decided that it was better to work then have more people killed because of a replacement pilot error. So everyone was on their way back from Chicago. Donna and I would actually get to leave sooner than I had thought. We could be in Hawaii on Thursday.

I made all of the reservations. I had to be a little covert and use a different last name because if someone caught wind of it, our secret would be out before we even left Washington. I knew that Donna would be unhappy about the secret names, but at least we would be married under our real ones. Oscar and Oprah Kodak were just our assumed ones.

Now getting away would be the hardest part. I had to come up with an escape plan. If they wouldn't let me go to Chicago, I knew that there was no way that they would let me go to Hawaii. I would have to lie about going to Hawaii. The planes crashed around New York and I knew that it was close enough to Washington. I could use the fact that Donna knew somebody who died. We would actually have to go to New York for a while though; Donna would kill me if I used Robbie as an excuse.

"Leo!" I said when I saw him.

"Hey Josh. Everything okay with you?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. But Leo, Donna lost a friend on that plane crash and..." I trailed off not really wanting to mention Amy.

"I know she died Josh." Leo said interrupting me.

"What?" I asked.

"Amy Hogan was your cousin right?" Leo asked softly.

"Yeah." I said without looking at him.

"I think that you both should go to the Memorial Services and see what you can find out." Leo urged.

"Thank you. And Leo could you keep my cousin out of this?" I asked quietly.

"I know how close she was to Joanie." Leo stated.

"Leo, I really can't do this right now." I begged.

"I know, but talk to someone about it please." Leo pleaded with me.

"Don't worry this isn't going to manifest itself. I swear." I assured him.

"Okay. Oh and talk to C.J. before you go." Leo requested.

Damn, he wanted me to talk to C.J. she could smell a secret a mile away. Okay I know yesterday's conference was flawless, as well as the one I did about the plane's crashing. Maybe the one today was bad, I guess I was too excited to even pay attention. How could I have messed it up? I honestly couldn't even remember it.

"Joshua, there you are my boy." C.J. said as I stepped into her office.

"Evening C.J." I said with a grin.

"I'm glad you didn't make the front page." C.J. said as she waved a paper in front of me.

"I can be a good boy." I joked.

"Josh, I want to say that I'm grateful you were here and not there." C.J. stated suddenly.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because then I would never be able to give you this." C.J. said as she handed me a box.

"Gee, C.J. you really shouldn't have." I said.

"Just open it." C.J. urged.

I opened the box and inside of it was a little statue of the Sears Tower. I had complained that by not being able to go with them that I was going to miss seeing the greatest landmark in all of Chicago. C.J. assumed that I had been talking about the Sears Tower.

"This is great C.J., but I meant Wrigley Field." I said with a laugh.

"What? That is the greatest landmark in the city? A baseball stadium!" C.J. exclaimed.

"Uh huh. Oh by the way Donna and I are going to New York for a few days to attend the memorial services and to see what we can find out." I said as she was still puzzled about what I had said.

"You guys and your sports." C.J. murmured.

"See ya later." I said as I walked out of her office.

Now it was time to gather Donna, make an appearance in New York and sneak away to get married. I couldn't wait to have her be Mrs. Josh Lyman. Actually, I would probably be Mr. Donna Moss.

I'll Be - 5



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