Disclaimer: These characters belong to Aaron Sorkin and the other people at NBC. And the song is not mine either.

Show me the meaning of being lonely

By Mer

Part 7

I went into this room and my dad, my sister, and my cousin Amy were all sitting on a couch. They invited me to sit in a chair across from them. Joanie looked just as pretty as I remembered her to be. And my dad was all smiles. It was so good to see them.

"Joanie, I'm so sorry." I began.

"Josh don't worry about it. I am happy here." Joanie said with a smile, and I swear I could hear Ave Maria playing in the background.

"Welcome home Josh." My dad said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Oh Josh you're so funny." Joanie laughed.

"Give him time, it takes awhile to adjust." Amy said.

"Wait, I have Donna and the baby. I can't be dead." I protested.

My father looked at my sister and then he looked back at me. I didn't know what to do. I had to get back to Donna. I promised that I would help her raise the baby. I promised that I would always be there for her. A Lyman never breaks a promise.

"Are you sure that she is worth giving us up for?" Joanie asked.

"Especially after that fight that she had with you. Kinda funny that you actually got hit by a car." Amy stated.

"I have to go back to her. I promised." I pleaded.

"Like she really wants you back." Joanie taunted.

"What? Who's side are you on?" I asked.

"Does she mean the world to you? I mean if you went back and she told you that she hated you, would you regret going back?" My father asked.
"Of course not. I love her. I promised her that I would always love her. I promised her, Dad." I pleaded again.

"Then go, son." My father said as he pointed to a stairwell that only lead down.

"I love you, but I can't stay." I replied.

"Hurry or you won't be able to go back." Joanie interrupted.

I got up and ran towards the stairwell. They yelled that they loved me and good-bye. I yelled the same back. I had a promise to keep. The stairwell began to disappear but I got on a step before it could. I raced down the stairs. I had to get back; I had to get back to her.

Suddenly darkness enveloped me. I became aware of immense pain. Pain meant that I was alive so I welcomed it. I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't. I became afraid that I didn't make it back in time, until I heard voices.

"Why is it taking so long for him to wake up?" Sam asked in a mildly whiny voice.

"He needs time to heal." C.J. said absently, though Sam was unconvinced.

"Last time he needed to heal but he had woken up by now. It's been three days C.J. maybe he's not going to wake up." Sam replied with almost a crack in his voice.

"Last time he had..." C.J. began but stopped herself.

My friends were there with me. I felt comforted by that, but even I knew what C.J. didn't say. Last time Donna was there by my side until I was out of the woods. But Donna wasn't at my side; she must feel horrible about what she said. Didn't she know that I didn't care about our stupid fight?

It took a lot of effort but I forced my eyes open. The room was really bright. I couldn't really see anything clearly. Everything had white halos around them. My throbbing head was probably the cause of that. I blinked my eyes a few times and C.J. saw me.

"Josh, you're awake." She stated.

"Hi Josh, I'm here too." Sam said like an idiot.

"Hi." I said very weakly.

"The President's gonna be mad. He was with you for a few hours this afternoon. I guess he thought boring you would wake you up." C.J. said which caused me to laugh.

Pain shot through me, but I tried not to grimace. I didn't want any pain meds yet. I wanted to talk to my friends. I wanted to feel alive. I wanted to know about Donna.

"Where's Donna?" I asked softly.

"What Josh, you gotta try and speak up a little louder." Sam urged.

"Where's Donna?" I tried again.

"She's..." Sam began but he knew I knew he was a horrible liar, so he stopped.

"She's not here." C.J. said quietly.

"I still love her." I stated softly.

"We know." C.J. replied.

"We've all tried to get her to come." Sam said.

"She's just not ready yet, Josh." C.J. stated in a voice that meant, we aren't sure if she'll ever be ready.

"Tell her I'm sorry." I said gently.

"Josh, what do you..." Sam began but C.J. cut him off.

"We will." C.J. assured me, and I swore she called Sam an idiot under her breath.

A little while later they left to go get some coffee. It made me realize that I had probably just lost everything that I wanted the most in my life. The last time I woke up, I had a wife and a baby on the way. And this time all I had left was my friends and my job. For the first time in my life I was truly alone. I had found that once in a lifetime love, and now it was probably gone.

Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missing in my heart

I thought about what my dad had told me up in heaven. I didn't regret coming back, because I still loved Donna. I still loved her and I had a promise to keep. I would find a way to get her back. I couldn't lose her.

The End



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