The Road Ahead
pt.5
MAB

"Sammy!" a voice cried out in the crowded area.

Sam Seaborn smiled as he saw his older brother Kyle, dragging two
*very* filled bags and approached him. "Hey, Kyle," Sam replied as
he hugged Kyle.

"I'm so sorry, Sam," Kyle said as he hugged Sam back.

"It's not your fault. It's no one's fault."

The two let go. "I know, but I can still be sorry, right?"

"If you want to be, though it's not all that productive."

Kyle shook his head. "My brother, the politician."

Sam made a face. "Don't! That's the second time that I've been
called that today!" He picked up one of the bags that his brother
put down. "What the...? What do you have in here? My old law
books?"

Kyle Seaborn laughed. "Hah! You, little brother, are carrying
precious cargo, so do not lose that."

"I'll treat it like one of my speeches."

"Ohh, I'm honoured."

The playful banter continued back and forth during the walk to the
baggage carousel and finally to the car.

"So, does anyone know that I'm coming?"

"Just the President and the First Lady, no one else."

Kyle turned to look at his brother. "Does anyone else know besides
them?" he asked, knowing that Sam would understand what he was
talking about.

Sam swallowed. "No."

Kyle sighed. "Not even Josh?"

"Listen, Kyle, Josh has had a lot to deal with lately."

I know, Sammy, you've told me. But what about everyone else?"

Sam stopped at a stoplight. "Kyle, I just found out today. I need
some time to process it before blabbing it out to the rest of the
world."

Kyle nodded in understanding. "So, what's on the menu, tonight? Or
do you have to work?"

"No," Sam responded, as he turned right. "The President kicked me
out for the rest of the evening--especially when he found out that
you were coming--but I haven't had time to do grocery shopping."

"Okay, pizza's on me, then."

"You want to go out now?" Sam asked incredulously.

"Of course not!" Kyle denied. "Do you know how much those books are
worth? No, we'll get them to deliver. I assume that you know a
place that delivers good, Greek pizza?"

Sam smiled. "You assume correctly."

Silence. For a long time, there was an uncomfortable silence.

"Do you still want to marry someday?" Kyle asked out of the blue.

Sam was struck by this. "What? Yes, I want to marry someday. At
least, I hope to."

"Yeah, but to combat the Hodgkin's, you'll have to have
chemotherapy, right?"

"Yes, I will," Sam confirmed, beginning to have an inkling of what
his brother was thinking.

"What about kids?"

"What about them?" Sam asked, his thoughts now confirmed.

"You want some right?"

Sam nodded. "Yes."

"Are you going to, you know," Kyle hedged, a tad embarrassed.

"Have some sperm frozen?"

"Well, yeah," Kyle answered.

"Yes, I suppose so."

"So, you'd have to go to.. you know."

"No, where?" Sam was enjoying his brother's discomfort. People in
Washington thought that Sam Seaborn was probably one of the most
liberal people working in government circles. If they thought that *he* was
liberal... Oh, they had no idea...

"You know," Kyle persisted, "That...sperm place."

Sam now had to laugh. "You can't even say it! My older
brother--who is more liberal and outspoken than me--can't even say
'sperm bank!'" At Kyle's look, Sam smiled. "I don't know if I'll
be going there. I may see if I'll be able to do it at the
hospital. If so, then all I would have to do is to find a place to store
them."

"You should phone to make sure," Kyle suggested.

"I'm too busy, right now, and I'm not going to get Kathy to do
it for me, either!" Sam protested.

"Fine, then *I'll* do it!"

"You don't have to, Kyle," Sam said.

"Listen, maybe I don't want you to go through being childless like
us, okay?" Kyle retorted.

"Okay," Sam replied softly. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Kyle accepted. "Then again, it's not like there's no
such thing as adoption."

"That's always an option, yes," Sam agreed. "But what if my wife
doesn't want to adopt?"

"Then you married the wrong person," was the reply.

"Yeah, I would have."

Silence.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Kyle began, having enough of yet another uncomfortable
silence. "It's just that...it hurts at times."

"Hey, it's okay," Sam replied as they neared his house. "It would
hurt anyone." They finally parked in front. "Ready, roommie?"

"I had to put up with you at Princeton for two years, and now I'm
doing it again."

"Oh, like I was any worse than your previous roommate? Why did you
kick him out, again?" Sam asked as they got out of the car, already
knowing the answer.

"Oh, shut up and give me that bag! You're sick and shouldn't be
carrying it!"

"I'm not that sick, yet," Sam protested.

"Yeah, the operative word being, *yet.*"

"Oh shut up and help me with your luggage. God, you pack like a
woman," Sam commented as he lifted one of the suitcases from the
trunk. "Jaime is definitely the man out the two of you."

"Are you calling me a sissy?" Kyle playfully demanded, as he got the
other suitcase.

"Not at all," Sam denied. "I'm just saying that...never mind. Is
Jaime coming over, or just you?"

"He's going to see if he can get some time off, but he probably
won't get it. You know..."

"Because of that 'partner' thing? Gotcha." While everyone on the
Hill and in Washington knew that Sam Seaborn was straight, many had
wondered why he was so ferocious on gay rights. No one would guess
that it was because that while he was straight, it was his brother
who was gay. Sam didn't like the prejudice that the gay community
faced and that was one of the reasons why he enjoyed going up
against Mary Marsh and the Christian right/fundamentalists, so
much. Sam liked Kyle's partner of eight years. In fact, he had
gone to their Commitment Ceremony, during the campaign and had been one of
the Best Men. Sam also knew that was why Kyle was so adamant about Sam
calling and asking about where to store the sperm. He knew that his brother
and Jaime wanted a child, but didn't know if they would be able to adopt,
and they refused to let him do anything about it. Well, he may have to take
matters into his own hands.

Especially now that he worked for Bartlet.

"But he sends his love," Kyle continued. "If he can't get the time
off, he'll be getting frequent flyer mileage during weekends."

"But that would get to be too expensive."

"Sam, he's rich, you're rich, I'm rich," Kyle reminded the younger
Seaborn. "We can afford it. Even though we don't live or act like
it, we can afford it."

They got to the front door where Sam unlocked and opened it. After
they got inside, Sam put down the suitcase and bag, and turned to
his brother. "Kyle, thanks. It really means a lot, you coming up
here like this."

Kyle hugged Sam. "Sam, I'm your brother. Where else would I be?
Where else *could* I be?" As they let go, he saw that Sam was about
to say something and put a finger up. "And don't say 'teaching' or
anything else like that. I would have gotten someone to take over.
The semester only began and there are two other profs who can teach
my courses."

"But that would be wrong."

Kyle shook his head. "No," he denied. "What would be wrong, would
be not being there for my brother."

Sam gazed onto the wall. "You know, it would be a lot easier if..." he
began absently.

Kyle cocked his head. "If what?"

The younger Seaborn's eyes glazed over for a moment before focusing,
once again. "Huh? Oh, nothing. Just thinking aloud. Let's order
some pizza."

"If what, Sammy?" Kyle persisted.

"Kyle, it's nothing. Trust me on that! It was just more babbling."

"Sam, I know you and it wasn't babbling," Kyle countered.

"Kyle, it's--"

"Samuel Norman Seaborn!" Sam cringed at the use of his full name.
"Please, tell me."

Sam regarded his brother and saw the pain that he was going through.
And he was going through it because of him. Despite what Kyle had
stated, he didn't have to come if he didn't want to. He did it
because they were brothers and loved each other. "You go upstairs
and unpack, while I order the pizza. And I'll order olives--lots of
olives!"

Kyle shook his head. "Sam."

"Just... Please."

Kyle appeared sad at this. "Okay. But you make sure that it's both
black and green olives!"

Sam saw his brother pick up the two suitcases and ascend the stairs.
Kyle was on a landing when Sam called to him. "Kyle!"

The latter turned. "Yeah?"

Sam drew in a breath, then exhaled. "It would be easier if I could
accept this. If I could accept what's happening--and what will
happen--it would make everything easier."

"Sam, denying it--"

"It's not denying it!" Sam replied, "Trust me, I *believe* the
situation! I believe that it's real and that I'm going through it.
But there's a difference between believing it and accepting it."

Kyle pursed his lips. "I understand."

"No, you don't," Sam countered.

"True," Kyle admitted. "But that doesn't mean that I can't try."

Sam nodded. "I'll order the pizza," and left for the living room.
He had just punched in the number when he heard a shout; "Um, Sam,
which room do I sleep in?"

TBC

The Road Ahead - 6

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