Title : Boy, was I wrong. Part 1
Rating : PG-13
Category : Josh/Donna
Spoiler : End of Season 1 and beginning of Season 2
Disclamer : None of these characters belong to me....They are from THE WEST WING...duh....
Author's note : I know, this story starts from a long ago and you guys might even have forgotten the shooting, but hey, I've only just got the inspiration and the time. By the way, this is my first fan fiction ever and I'd love to get feedback. The POV of this story alternates between Josh and Donna
Short summary : Josh and Donna realize their feelings for each other when Donna takes care of Josh after the shooting.
Author's name : Peridot
It is the first day Josh was back home since the shooting. His mom had just left early
this morning. He was rather quiet on the drive back home. He didn't look that tired
but he had a blank look on his face. I kept him company the whole day, and he was only
slightly responsive. I unpacked his bag, made him lunch and cleaned his apartment. I had
come quite often to his apartment to clean it when he was in the hospital. So the
apartment was already pretty clean and organized before Josh came in.
"The place is clean. I expected piles of dust in the corner and cob webs." Josh said showing a bit of life in him.
I was quite for a few seconds, hoping Josh is slowly getting back to normal, becoming the old Josh again. Then I realize I should say something.
"Yeah, I cleaned up a few times when I came to pick up some clothes for you." I said while Josh opened the fridge. "Wow, there's food in here. I hope it hasn't been here since the......" Josh didn't continue the sentence as I quickly said , "Yeah, I bought some groceries this morning."
Just then, I felt Josh staring at me while I was making us sandwiches. I knew he was looking at me but I didn't look back up. I don't know why. I think I would be lost in his eyes if I were to look at him right now and I wouldn't be able to turn away. Why is that? I have no idea. Why am I suddenly so nervous? Well, probably because I didn't expect to be making sandwiches in my boss's apartment who happens to be the Deputy Chief of Staff.
What would I do without Donna? I'm looking at her making sandwiches and I feel like I'm looking at the most gorgeous person in the world. Did I say gorgeous? I meant efficient.
"Thank you Donna. For everything." I said slowly which finally made her look up at me.
She looked like she had tears in her eyes. Her eyes were glowing. She then gave me a half smile.
"Yeah, hope you finally know how valuable I am now. I'm expecting a big raise when you come back to work you know," Donna said smiling more cheekily this time.
"You are not 'that' valuable Donatella," I said whispering in her ear. God, she smells good. I mean, she smells clean and fresh like most women.
What is he doing to me? Maybe it's just ticklish when he whispered in my ear. Or maybe it's the summersault my stomach does when he calls me Donnatella. Why is that?
It was almost 8pm when I told Josh I should be leaving. "Do you need anything else? I'll go to your office and get everything settled there tomorrow morning. I'll come back here after that."
"Don't leave Donna. Would you stay here with me? You could stay in the guest room."
His eyes looked as though he was pleading. How could I say no to that puppy dog eyes?
"Sure Josh. I'll just go home and get some clothes and stuff I may need." I said. The reward I got for that was priceless. Josh gave me a complete smile with dimples and all. This was the first time he gave me this smile since the shooting. Heck, this the first time he gave this smile to anyone.
I stayed with Josh the next few weeks while he recovered. I cooked, cleaned and helped him move around when he was still in physical pain. I also settled things in the office and brought back the work Josh needed to do at home. I also did the usual Deputy Deputy Chief Of Staff work in Josh's apartment.
One night, I heard Josh screaming from his bedroom. "God, no no!!" I quickly ran into his room and saw him shaking violently on his bed and sreaming.
"Josh, wake up. It's just a dream. Wake up!!" I shooked him. Finally his eyes opened and they were soaked. When he saw me he lugged onto me and I help him as tight as I could, I was half sitting, half laying on his bed, which is quite an uncomfortable position. But Josh in my arms felt so good.
"It's okay Josh, I'm here. Ssshhhh." He was hugging my waist and placing he head on my chest and sobbed quietly. While I hugged his back and stroked his hair gentle. I kissed his head. I wanted to do much more. I wanted to kiss him, and not in a platonic way. Why am I feeling this while Josh is miserable and scared?
I stayed with Josh holding him until he fell asleep. I went back to the guestroom as I couldn't stay there any longer. I longed to be with him. It ache thinking of him being under the same roof, yet being so far from him.
I realize that I have strong feelings for Josh but never in the romantic kinda way. However, when I was in the hospital, I felt as though my life was falling apart. I questioned my true feelings for Josh. Was I in love with him? I decided I couldn't think of that while Josh was lying there on the hospital bed. So, I just kept my feelings aside.
But now, my feelings for Josh just seem to grow. It's possible it's just a temporary feeling because I thought I was going to loose him, or maybe because I'm spending much time with him outside the office. Oh well, I guess I just have to get over this feeling.
I got up this morning this morning hoping I would see Donna next to me. Why did I want that? Of course she had to leave after I fell asleep, it would be silly of her to have slept on my bed with me, not to mention inappropriate. But still I wished she did. I went to the kitchen, and saw her making breakfast.
"Hey, sleepy head. Want some eggs?" Donna said chirpily. How the hell does this woman be chirpy first thing in the morning?
"Sure. Donna, sorry about last night. I hope I didn't ruin your sleep." I said scratching the back of my neck.
"It's not a problem Joshua. Did you sleep well after that?"
Oh dear. My stomach did a summersault when she called me Joshua. Of course I slept well being in Donna Moss's arms.
"Yup." That's all I manage to say being.
I watched her the whole day. I love the way she kept chattering about the crisis in Mexico, the President's speech in Manchester that day, rocky road ice-cream and the annoying ink on newspaper prints. Yes, this woman has the amazing ability to talk about complete different topics at the same time. She never ceases to amaze me. That's why I love her. In a completely platonic way of course.
That night I was watching 'Politically Incorrect' when I almost died from a heart attack. Don't worry, I wasn't shot again or anything. Donna Moss came out from her room, wearing just a large T-shirt. She came casually sitting next to me on the couch as if nothing was abnormal. I tried not to look her way, as I felt I might be loss of words, which would be a big bruise on my ego which was just getting back to its normal size.
"Josh, do you have to watch this? I mean your whole life is politics. Why not do something different when you are relaxing at home?" Donna said, grabbing the remote out of my hands forcing me to look at her.
"Fine, whatever," was all I managed to mumble looking at her. I notice that the T-shirt was actually a nightshirt as it had a picture of bunnies or rabbits. So, Donna Moss wasn't trying to seduce me by being half naked. Not that I thought she was. Not that I would mind if she did. Oh god, I'm fantasizing about assistant. This can't be good. Stop it Joshua. Come back to the real world. I tortured myself the whole night trying not to look at Donna and concentrate on what's on the television.
We had many nights like this. We also had many nights where she had to come to my room to comfort me during my nightmares. She would hold me for hours until I fell asleep. I don't think anyone else in the world besides my mom would do that for me. I don't think anyone else in the whole world would make me feel the way Donna does.
Josh was becoming more distant by the day. I started getting so worried. He was recovering physically better that expected and the nightmares have stopped. However, he barely looks at me now. He talks and we have resumed our bantering like before but he sometimes doesn't look at me at all. He never maintains eye contact and sometimes brushes me off for no good reason. So, I figured he could use some fun.
I called CJ, Sam and Toby to come by to Josh's place to basically hang out. It was a Saturday night. They were all more that willing as they would not miss any opportunity to drink and annoy each other.
I was sitting at home waiting for Donna to come home from the office. I have started thinking of my apartment as Donna's home as well. I should stop doing that. She's not going to be here forever. She's not even going to be here for another week. God, how am I going to deal with that. Maybe it'll be better when she's gone. Maybe I'll stop feeling how I feel about her now if she's not, u know, practically living with me. I heard a Donna come in. I also heard a few familiar voices as well.
"Hey, Josh. You didn't think you could hide from us just because you aren't at the office, did you? How's it going, man?" Sam said giving me a 'manly' pat on my back.
"Hey, you guys. Whatcha doing here? Couldn't I get some peace and quite for a few more days? I'm still recovering from an open heart surgery u know." I said jokingly.
"Oh, we all missed you too!" CJ said giving me a quick hug.
"We brought beer and we wanna watch the game" Toby said heading towards the couch and flicking the TV remote control.
Donna then came near me and said, "Though you could use some fun." I smiled at her and watched her walk away to the kitchen.
The guys filled me in on what was going on while I was away. We drank and watched the game and annoyed each other like old times.
"Josh, don't drink too much. You know, with you system and all." Donna said giving a cheeky grin.
"Donna, I can drink as much I want. My system is just fine." I said whining.
"It's really not." Sam said giving me a full smile.
"Look, I can handle my alcohol!" I said defending my system.
"Whatever you say, Josh." Donna said without looking at me. She then picked some glasses from the table and went to the kitchen. CJ followed her. Donna and CJ were engaged in a conversation. I'm only guessing it's some girl talk they we having. I watched Donna wash the glasses and bring prepare some nachos and dip. I don't think anyone looks as gorgeous as her conducting domestic chores. Just as the two women were walking into the living room, I turned away quickly, before Donna noticed I was watching her. As I turned, I caught Sam looking at me. He then gave me a look. Sort of raising his eye brows and giving a 'we need to talk' look.
"Hey, I'm gonna get more drinks from the fridge. Josh, buddy, wanna help me?" Sam said.
Great. I was right about his look. I followed him to the kitchen. "What's going on?" Sam asked me.
"What's going on...what?" I asked innocently.
"You know what I'm talking about. What's going on with you and Donna? I saw you watching her the whole night" Sam said opening the fridge door.
"What are you talking about? There's nothing going on. And I wasn't watching her the whole night." I said looking directly at him.
"Josh, it's only natural to develop these kind of feelings when she's practically living with you and talking care of you. Did something happen between you two?" Sam asked.
"No, Sam. Nothing happened between us. Besides being extremely grateful and thankful, I have not recently developed any other 'feelings' towards Donna. And I do not appreciate these accusations you are implying on me." I said as innocently as possible. I think I was also trying to convince myself.
"You're right. You haven't recently developed feelings towards Donna." Sam said picking a six-pack from the fridge.
"Thank you." I said congratulating myself on convincing Sam. And so I thought.
"You've always had feelings for her. I'm glad you finally realize it man. I was almost going to give up on you and declare the Deputy Chief of Staff as the most obliviousest man in America." Sam said opening a can of beer.
"Obliviousest, Sam? Really, do we actually pay you for writing speeches for the President? And what the hell are you talking about?" I said, my voice going a little to high pitched at the end there.
"Hello boys. Are you ever going to bring us the beer? I mean, it's just a simple task. And you are the same people running the country." CJ said coming in the kitchen and grabbing a few cans.
I followed her as she walked to the couch without turning back towards Sam. I hoped Sam wouldn't bring up this Donna issue anytime soon. I wonder what he meant by I've always had feelings for her and I finally realize it. I've never had feelings for Donna before. Well, at least I think I didn't. I'm sure what I have towards her now is merely a crush and it'll definitely go away. So, there's no point admitting to Sam what I feel for her now. Or admitting to myself for that matter.
I spent the rest of the night avoiding Sam and he knew it I'm sure. I also controlled myself from looking at Donna. CJ and the guys left after a few hours and I wasn't even drunk. Well, at least not completely. I vaguely remember Donna helping me into bed.
I decided to leave Josh's apartment a few days before he got back to work. He didn't seem to object or anything. In fact he was encouraging me to leave. I must have annoyed him while I was there. He must be glad to get rid me. Well, as least now I can concentrate on getting rid of this silly crush I have on Josh. I'm sure it'll be gone in a few days at most. Although I will miss being with him outside of the office. I will miss holding him and taking care of him. I'll miss running my hands through his hair, looking at him when he first gets out of bed in the morning, kissing him goodnight on the forehead when he finally falls asleep and.....Damn, I can't wait to get over him.
Donna left today. I miss her already even though I know I'll be seeing her at work tomorrow. But I'll miss having her here, taking care of me. I'm going to miss watching her in her cute little night shirts, seeing her first thing in the morning, her smell, her hair....Oh well, at least everything is going to be alright from now. I can get rid of this silly crush I have on her. I can get my sanity back. I went to the guestroom and I could still smell Donna there. I'm definitely going to miss her holding me at night, and kissing me goodnight when she thought I was asleep. I wish I can me be mine forever. No, I didn't say that. Damn, I can't wait to get over her.
TO BE CONTINUED........