Title : Boy, was I wrong. Part 2
Rating : PG-13
Short summary : Josh and Donna try to get over each other when something unthinkable happens.....
Other info : Refer Part 1
It was the first day Josh was back to work. Well, back into the office anyway. He's been working at home pretty much since he got back from the hospital. A bullet to his heart can't stop him from being a workaholic. I was excited he was coming back, as we can get back to a normal routine like before. And this time would be much better as we have become so much closer than boss/assistant since I've been taking care of him at his place and living with him even. Boy, was I wrong.
Josh has been so annoying the day he came back. I mean he's always annoying. But this time it annoyed me more because he's come back to our normal routine! I know, I know, that's what I wanted. But I expected a stronger relationship between us. He's acting as if I never took care of him, never rocked him to sleep, never lived with him!!
Josh came into the bullpen and walked right past my desk without even looking at me. He's been greeting everyone on the way to my desk and accepting everyone's well wishes and 'welcome backs'. But he didn't even look my way and he walked into his office.
"Donna, what time is my meeting with Leo?" He bellowed from his office and I was at my desk! I heard but I didn't say anything at first. Well, I was annoyed. I wanted to give him the silent treatment. I realize that I'm not twelve and he's my boss. But what the heck.
"DONNA!!!! DONNA!!!!" he yelled so loud I think the whole bullpen is deaf now.
"Yes Josh. I'm coming and I'll be your slave for all your commands." I muttered while walking into his office.
"Why, hi Donna. How was your day? Fine, and you Josh?" I said in the most annoyingly chirpy voice.
"My meeting with Leo. What time is it?" he asked finally looking at me.
"It's in 15 minutes. Then you have to call Oliver Whineburg about the FDA thing and
at 12pm you have a meeting with Jason Johston at your office" I said. I continued filling him on his meetings what else he has to do today.
"You need anything else?" I asked him.
"No. Thank you" Josh said again looking at his folder and not me.
I then left quietly. I guess getting over him is going to be easier than I thought. The rest of the day was just like any other busy day.
I walked into the bullpen receiving well wishes from practically everyone. It annoyed the hell out of me because all I wanted to do is see my Donna. I mean my assistant Donna. Then, I saw her sitting at her desk typing. I stood there for while awestruck. She was gorgeous wearing a short sleeve black top and a dark red short skirt. I think I won't be able to utter a word if I look at her. I thought I could get over her. But I think it has only gotten worse. I can't look at her. Not now. So I walked right past her desk without even acknowledging her.
Then at my office, I continued to bellow at her asking about my meeting. She didn't answer at first. Was she mad at me? She has every right to. She took care of me and practically lived with me and I didn't even say hi to her today. I then practically yelled her name out so loud, I was surprise my window didn't shatter. I couldn't look at her at first but then I realize I can't be a total asshole so I looked up. Boy, was that a bad idea. She looked so pissed at me. She looked disappointed and pissed. I made Donna upset and mad. I'm a bastard. But, this is all for the best. If she hates me, she won't be nice to me. And so, it'll be easier for me to get over her. See, I have it all worked out.
I spent the whole day avoiding Donna and being busy with work. I guess getting over her is going to be easier than I though. I just can't look at her.
I went back home feeling like crap. I was thinking of Josh the whole day. I actually felt like crying. I haven't felt like this since....since the shooting. I miss him so much. I wish he was less of a bastard at work today. My heart is actually aching thinking of him.
I got a tub of Rocky Road ice-cream and started pigging out. I couldn't stop myself from sobbing. Just then, Kimmy, my roommate, came in.
"What did he do now? Donna, I'm seriously going to stuff his face with a large can of tuna!!" Kimmy said angrily.
"Kimmy, it's okay. I'm fine." I said lying obviously.
"Donna, no one I know is so miserable so often because of their boss." Kimmy said sitting next to me on the couch and rubbing my back.
"Donna, look, it's obvious you have some feelings towards Josh. I have no idea why. But that's beside the point. Donna, you have to get over him and you know that. Do you actually want a man that makes you this upset so bloody often?" Kimmy asked me.
"Oh, Kimmy. You're right. I know you are right. I have to get over this feeling I have for him. It's just so hard and I don't know how." I said. This was the most honest I've been to anyone .Heck, even to myself.
"Donna, let's go out tonight. We'll go and get drunk okay? Come on, get dressed. I'll call Joe to come along." Kimmy said.
I couldn't refuse as I know Kimmy would drag me by my legs out of the apartment. Maybe this would be good for me. Well, it can't do any harm and I can't feel any worse than I am now. Besides, tomorrow is Sunday, and Josh didn't ask me to come in. Well, he didn't say anything but I'm assuming he doesn't need me.
Me, Kimmy and her boyfriend, Joe, went to a bar nearby our apartment. We sat and drank a few beers. I didn't feel like talking, not that Kimmy and Joe noticed I was there anyway. They were busy making out and dancing. I drank some more. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing double by now.
Just then, a bartender or waiter came up to me, placing a drink on my table and said,
"Complement from the gentleman over there."
I turn to look at the guy who bought me a drink but there were just too many guys there. I didn't give a damn anyway. As long as I have a free drink, I'm happy.
The next thing I know I was waking up from my bed in my bedroom when I felt the sun shining into my room causing me a headache. Man, I hate hangovers. This time felt worse, I felt sore all over I couldn't even move from my bed. Kimmy must have dragged me back home while I was completely out of it. After a while, I didn't feel any better. I still was in too much pain to get of the bed. Then, I basically got a shock when I pulled off the bedspread. There was no clothing on my body. As I opened my eyes a wider I noticed bruises all over me. I struggled to get up only to notice a large cut on my chest just below my left breast and there were scratches on my thighs as well. My heart was punding so hard, I could barely breath. I pulled myself out of the bed and went to the bathroom. Was I in an accident? Did I fall? Was I mugged or attacked? Why am I naked? So many questions flooded my mind causing my head to pound even harder.
As I held my self up by holding the sick, I closed me eyes. Oh my god! Oh no! God no! I saw images of someone lying on top of me. I was struggling but I had no energy as if my motor system failed on me. He was hurting me. He was raping me. No, that can't be it. I quickly opened my eyes. No, I'm just imagining this. I'm at my home. Did I have sex with someone at the bar? I was so drunk I wouldn't know. But what about the bruises I have. I noticed lots of scratches on my inner thigh. I felt like my world was falling apart. I felt the everything was spinning around me.
After a few minutes of being numb and holding myself up, I realized I have to pull myself together and find Kimmy. I splashed water on my face, brushed my teeth and got dressed. I went to the kitchen and saw Kimmy having coffee.
"Oh, you finally awake! Donna, why did you leave last night without telling me. I was sooo worried, I was looking all over for you. Me and Joe even asked the cops nearby. Thank god we came home to check and saw you sleeping on your bed. Would you please not do that ever again? God, I thought I was going to get a heart attack last night." Kimmy said waving her hands all over causing my head to start spinning again.
"Kimmy, did you see me with any guy last night?" I asked her
"No, me and Joe were dancing and the next thing I knew you were
not on your chair" Kimmy said.
"Kimmy, I think I was raped last night" I said it out loud causing Kimmy to open her eyes wide and dropping her jaw.
I explained to Kimmy about the images I saw when I closed my eyes and how I found myself naked on my bed. I also showed her my bruises.
"This is all my fault. I dragged you out last night and didn't even pay any attention to you. I just left you there when I knew you were already drunk and hurting. Oh, Donna. I'm so so sorry," Kimmy said shaking and tears started pouring down her cheeks.
"It's not your fault Kimmy. I think I'll have to go to the hospital. I'm not even sure if that's what happened." I said.
I didn't feel like crying. I didn't feel anything except for the physical pain all over my body. Kimmy came with me to the hospital. We had to wait a few hours before the doctor could see us. Then, I went in alone. I was glad to see a female doctor who introduced herself as Dr. Jacobson. She was probably in her early 40s and she seemed easy to talk to. I had told her what happened last night and what I went through this morning. She then conducted a rape kit on me which was very uncomfortable. She also did a blood test.
We had to wait a few more hours of waiting which I didn't mind because I had no zest or need to do anything at that time. My emotions were coming back to me as I felt tears rolling down my cheek. I felt hopeless and angry and scared out of my mind. I didn't know what to think about this situation. Part of me was glad I was drunk as I could have been hurt more or worse, I could have been killed. But I just didn't understand the fact that I could be so drunk. I always could handle my alcohol relatively well. Well enough not to get raped anyway. I have had alcohol the amount I did last night on several occasions prior to this and I was never completely out of it.
Kimmy sat with me the whole time. We didn't talk much but she knew all I needed was for her to be there with me. The nurse finally called me in.
" Donna, did you except any drinks last night from anyone? Did anyone serve you a drink?" Dr. Jacobson asked me while holding a chart.
I thought for a while and then it hit me. " Yes, a bartender brought me a drink saying it was some guy from over the bar. I turned to see who it was but there were many guys there and I didn't care that much. Oh, no. Why was I sooo stupid? This is all my fault"
I buried my face on my hands and shook my head.
"Donna, this is not at all your fault by any means. Donna, we found traces of the drug Rohypnol in your bloody system. It would be worn off by now. This drug is the new date rape drug of choice. The drug produces a sedative effect, muscle relaxation, and a slowing of psychomotor responses. It should also cause amnesia. That's why you can't remember what happen. But about the images you've seen, I'm guessing there was only a very very small amount of Rhohypnol in your drink. Maybe because the guy assumed you were already pretty drunk." She said to me in a calm voice.
She then sat on a chair next to me. "Donna, the rape kit shows you've had intercourse in the last 24 hours. However, there was no semen found in your cervix or uterus. This could be good and bad. Bad because there's no chance of identifying this guy as you can't remember what happen last night. Good because you would be free from any STDs or the chance of being pregnant."
"I can't believe this is happening to me. I shouldn't have drank as much as I did." I said staring to cry again.
"Donna, even if you had only a glass of beer, who's to say this guy wouldn't have spiked that drink anyway. It is no means your fault. You have to know and believe that. Donna your bruises will heal relatively fast as there were no deep cuts. I will prescribe some pain killers which you probably will need for today and tomorrow. I'll also give you some cream and ointment for the bruises to heal faster. However, I can't heal your emotional pain. Would you like to talk to someone? There are rape victim counselors I could recommend."
"No, I think I just need to be alone right now." I said.
"Okay, but I'll give you their contact numbers anyway." Dr. Jacobson said gently rubbing
Just then I look up to see a police officer at the room door. "Donna, you have to talk to the police about what happen. I had to call them as it's hospital policy if we conclude a rape was involved with our patients." The doctor said getting up from the chair and leaving the room.
I explained to the police officer who was polite and patient. He also said that he can't do much as I can't recall anything about the rapist and the rape kit didn't do much help as well. But he said he'll go to the bar I went to and do some checking up. He also asked a photo of me and said he'll get back to me if there was anything he found out.
Kimmy and I went home after that. I took a long shower that I've been longing for. I changed all my sheets on my bed. I started bringing out all the cleaning products and cleaned my mattress and my whole bedroom hopefully making me feel better and less dirty about the whole incident.
I didn't have any hope of this guy being caught. I think part of me doesn't want this guy to be found as then the rape would probably be more real to me. I was also terrified because the guy knew where I lived. Kimmy and I figured he saw our address on a ID in my purse as all my cards were messed up in my purse. I usually keep my cards arranged accordingly in a specific order.
I couldn't sleep that night. I was tossing and turning on my bed and trying to wipe out the images I saw when I closed my eyes. I could never see the guys face in the images. Just his body on mine and me struggling, not have the energy to push him away even a bit.
The next morning, Kimmy said she'll change add more locks on the front door so that'll we'll feel more safe. I agreed thanking her for being there for me through out the whole time. Now, I was off to work hoping for the first time Josh will drown me with heaps of work as I need to get my mind off this weekend. Josh, this was the first time I thought about him since the incident. It was pining over him that made me go to the bar in the first place. So, technically this is all his damn fault. 'No, Donna. Don't do this. This is not Josh's fault, nor is it mine. The only one to blame is the son of a bitch who rape me.' I said to myself.
I spent my weekend not thinking of Donna. Well, I spent thinking of ways to try to stop thinking of Donna anyway. But Monday has to come. I came early to work as I didn't want to pass by her desk like I did the other day. I saw Dona come in and sit at her desk. I looked at her through from my office. She looked tired. Why would she be tired. I gave her the whole Sunday off. Well, she has Sunday's off but I always manage to give her some work. But this time I didn't bug her at all. Not even a phone call. Well, maybe she partied the whole weekend away. Hopefully not with some gomer.
Then I saw Donna get up and walk to my office. I quickly opened some folder and pretended to be reading.
"Josh, here's the memo for your meeting with the public education guys. You have the staff meeting in 30 minutes. You'll be discussing about the......" Donna said only looking at the schedule in her hand.
"Why, hi Josh. How was your weekend? Fine, and you Donna?" I said not being able to resist myself.
Then she finally looked up at me. She had a blank look on her face. Her eyes were red and puffy. She looked like she has been crying for days. Why? Because of how I've been treating her since I got back to work? I'm such a jerk. I made my Donnatella cry. I should be shot. Well, I have been shot. And I do not want to go there again. Maybe I should be just hit on the head.
"Donna, are you okay?" I asked her.
She merely nodded and continued reading my schedule. There was something definitely wrong. I decided to leave it alone. She probably would be back to normal in a while anyway. I should also start being normal and start looking at her no matter how much it drives me crazy. I'm obviously hurting her.
I tried being as smug and witty as I always am but Donna seemed so distant. She came into my office at the end of the day, handing me some note and folders when I noticed a bruise and some light scratches on her hand.
"Donna what's that?" I asked pointing at her hand.
She looked at it for a few seconds lost in some thoughts and said, "Just a scratch."
"Well, I can see that. How did you get it?" I asked.
She gave me a big pause once again. "It's nothing Joshua, it'll be gone in a few days. Doesn't even hurt." She left my office before I could ask anything more.
In the next few days, Donna didn't even bugged me with her daily useless bits of trivia or force me to explain every detail of every thing I do and decide on. I miss that. She'll be fine. She just needs some time. Boy, was I wrong.
It has been more than 2 weeks since Donna has been gloomy and not herself. I, on the other hand tried my best being as normal and Josh-like as possible. She has to have forgiven me by now for that one day. Maybe it isn't me that made her upset. Maybe it's some other gomer. I'm going to kill him. I need to find out why she's being the way she is. Have I lost my Donna? Oh, how I long to just hold her in my arms and tell her everything is going to be okay. Funny, this is what she did for me after the shooting. She took care or me and she's the only reason I'm healthy and coming to work everyday. I have to take care or her. I have to protect her. Whatever it takes, I'm going to get my Donna back. Hopefully she won't end up despising me even more.
TO BE CONTINUED.....