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Temporarily Misplaced Notes: This was not planned... It just sort of happened
when I saw Rhiannon online and pounced on her. ;-) ::smiles sweetly::
Jed was sitting in the Oval Office on the couch with a numb expression on his face when Abbey walked in. She wasn't aware of what he was... That Mrs. Landingham was dead... Abbey didn't notice the blank look in her husband's eyes, "Hey, what's up?" Slowly, Jed moved his eyes from the fixated point on the wall up to his wife's face but couldn't find the words to say anything as the tears started to trickle slowly from his eyes. Abbey was at his side in a moment, "Jed, what's wrong?" She held his face firmly in her hands. He opened his mouth but couldn't form the words. Jed bent his tongue upward and pressed the tip against his teeth slightly to the right side as he just continued to look at Abbey. "Jed, what's wrong?" Abbey repeated her question. She wiped a tear away with her fingers. "What is it?" "Delores," was all he could muster out. Abbey put all her patience to use, "What about her Jed?" She stroked his face, trying to calm him the best she could. "She's... dead," he looked up at her, looking into her eyes searching for something in her eyes that he knew he wouldn't find... that it was all just a bad dream. Abbey felt all the air slam out of her body. "How?' she choked out. "Car accident... She was... She was hit by a drunk..." Jed was assaulted by a new wave of tears. "By a drunk driver...." "Oh my God," Abbey sat in her husband's lap and held him close to her. "Oh my God." Jed cried into her shoulder, "She's dead, Abbey. She's gone..." Abbey planted kisses in her husband's hair, "It's going to be okay, babe. It's going to be okay." She felt her own tears fall from her eyes. "How, Abbey?" He asked with a soaked face. "How is it going to be okay?" She shook her head, "I don't know how, Jed." She placed her hand on his cheek and looked him in the eye, "But it will be... it has to be." Jed closed his eyes and let the tears continue to fall as he held his wife close to him. After at least a good half hour of being like that, he finally spoke again, "I hear you've gone back to being Dr. Bartlet," he said in a weak and quiet voice. Abbey's mouth quirked up in a half hearted smile, "Yeah... I bored Sam out of his mind when he called me Mrs. Bartlet." He chuckled very weakly, "Sounds like you." "Well, in my own defense, I learned that trick from the master." Abbey replied, brushing imaginary lint from his suit. He chuckled again, just as weak and rested his head back against the couch, "I'm so lost Abbey." "No you're not Jed." Abbey protested, bringing her hand back up to his cheek. She stroked it tenderly. "You're not lost Jed... you're just temporarily misplaced." Her attempts to make him laugh again didn't work this time... "It's all falling apart Abbey... The only good news I've had today is that people are eating more beets." Abbey took his head in her hands and forced him to look him in the eye, "Hey! You listen to me. It's going to be all right. Do you hear me? Some how, some way... it's going to work out Jed." "Mrs. Landingham is dead, Abbey. Tomorrow night I'm going on TV and telling the world I have MS, while dealing with this thing in Haiti. We've been arguing every time we see each other. I don't know how much more I can take, Abbey. I don't know. I'm losing myself out there. I'm loosing myself. And for what? What's it all for?" "For the dream that you had, Jed." Abbey replied quietly. "For the dream you had." "That dream is crashing to a halt though, Abbey. It's all falling to pieces. If I can get through whatever happens once I tell everyone I have MS, *if* I am not impeached or thrown in jail or whatever, it's still all over. No one is going to trust me enough to vote for me a second time. And even if they did, there's that deal I made with you. So no matter what, that dream... it has taken a great fall. And all the kingā€™s horses and all the kingā€™s men can't put it back together again." "You're wrong Jed." Abbey told him. "I trust you. And I'd vote for you a second time." He nodded slowly, very slowly, "Yeah..." Abbey felt tears welling up in her eyes, "Yeah..." Jed slowly opened his eyes and looked at him, "Thank you," he whispered. "For what?' Abbey questioned, wiping away the tears that threatened to fall down her face. "Everything... For being here for me... with me... For giving me hope that things may not be as messed up as they seem. For... for everything. For loving me." "Loving you is easy Jed." Abbey told him. She smiled through her tears. "Not throwing a chair at you every three minutes, now that's the hard part." He chuckled weakly for the third time that night, "Yeah... I could say the same about you." "You could..." Abbey acknowledged. "I love you... you know that?" "The one and only thing I'm sure of right now, Abbey, is our love for each other." She kissed him gently and then rested her forehead against his, "I'm glad." "Babish asked you if you asked me if I've ever had an extramarital affair?" he rested his head back against the couch again. Abbey groaned and looked away, "Yes." "You didn't hurt him, did you? I haven't seen him today..." "No I didn't hurt him, Jed." Abbey replied. "He was making a point and the son of a bitch was right." "Yeah, I know." "Yeah, I know you know..." She bit her lip and then looked away. "He doesn't think I should be with you when... when you disclose this." Jed swallowed hard and looked at her, "Abbey..." Abbey continued to look off into the distance, "They could ask something that might bring up legal questions... legal questions about me writing prescriptions and treating you." "Abbey, I can't do it without you. I can't. Don't ask me to do that, Abbey. I need you with me." Abbey gave him a distracted nod, "I know..." She seemed to be lost in a world of thought. "I can't do this without you, Abbey," he repeated. "I won't do this without you. I don't care what Babish says, I won't do it without you." Abbey looked back at him with an unrecognizable look her eyes, "You won't. No matter what... you won't have to do this alone." Jed leaned forward and hugged the woman sitting his lap, "Thank you," he hugged her tightly. Abbey closed her eyes. She knew he had no idea of what could happen to her if people asked too many questions. She hugged him back, "You're welcome." "I love you," he whispered into her ear. "I love you." she responded just as quietly. The two stayed like that for another good bit of time before Jed finally spoke again, "Why can't it all be like this?" "Like what?" "Like this... this right here... You, me. I don't know how you do it, but you always make me forget my problems. Forget everything, really, except how much in love with you I am and how lucky I am." "I know how." Abbey replied. "Because we are in love. Because I can't live without you. Because our lives are completely wrapped up in each other. Because that's the way you feel about me... and that's the way I feel about you." "Remember what you said back in the campaign... to Josh?" Abbey shook her head, "No." "When I wasn't ready yet... You told him that I would be, but in the meantime, if he needed to kick something, that he could kick you..." Abbey nodded, "Yeah... what about it?" "One of these days... I'm going to be that strong for you..." "You already are, Jed." "No," he shook his head. "No, I'm not." "Why do you say that?" "Because it's true. I'm not strong. Without you, I'm nothing." Abbey sighed, "Oh, Jed..." Jed closed his eyes and shook his head as tears began to fall slowly down his face again, "It's true," he said, his head once again resting against the back of the couch. All at once, Abbey felt a wave of anger wash over her, "Damnit Jed!" She rose from his lap and charged across the room. "When are you going to stop feeling sorry for yourself? When are you going to trust yourself and the people around you? Huh? You are the strongest most resilient person I know and I don't think I can stand much more of this. Somewhere inside you is the Jed Bartlet I married. And you're right we may not get through this... not if the man I married doesn't show his face sometime soon." "You're right," he whispered and then cleared his throat. He raised his voice a little, "You're right," Jed repeated. "I'm not the man you married. This... This thing I have, the Multiple Sclerosis, it has eaten at me, Abbey. It's eaten me. You come to me, you tell me that in two years it may progress, but you don't know. You are the best damn doctor that I know, Abigail. And you don't know. Frankly, that scares the crap out of me. And I've let it eat at me. So you're right... I'm not the man you married." 'That's an excuse and you know it, Jed Bartlet." Abbey stood, shaking in her place. "That's an excuse to bury your head in the sand and pretend that there's nothing you can do." "There is nothing I can do, damnit!" Jed stood up finally. "There is nothing I can do. I couldn't do anything during the assassination attempt. I couldn't do anything tonight when Mrs. Landingham died. I couldn't do anything when I found out I had MS. I'm not pretending, Abbey. There is nothing I can do!" "You can be yourself Jed." Abbey replied quietly. "You can be that strong, smart, funny man that I know you to be. That's what you can do." She stood there for a moment and then turned and walked out the door, her hand over her mouth. Jed watched her walk out the door with an unreadable look on his face. He stood there, perfectly still, just staring out the door for a good ten minutes before he shoved his hands into his pockets and walked to the window. He stood in front of the glass and as he looked up, he saw his reflection. Staring at himself through the glass window, he tried to find that man that Abbey was talking about. Abbey stumbled blindly into their bedroom. She closed the door and walked into the bathroom. She looked into the mirror and then put her hand back over her mouth. She barely made it to the toilette before she was sick. Jed stood in the Oval Office, standing by the window. He was no longer only looking at his reflection, but he could now also see the White House lawn. He closed his eyes, tired of seeing his reflection in the glass, and decided to go look for his wife. Slowly, he made his way back to the residence... Abbey lay on the cool tile of the bathroom floor, to weak and tired to move. The world around her kept spinning and as far as she was concerned she was going to remain on the floor with her eyes closed until the spinning stopped and she could get off. Jed walked into the bedroom and didn't see Abbey. He closed his eyes and sighed, before he heard a faint sound coming from their bathroom. Slowly, he moved to the door and found his wife on the floor. "Abbey," he whispered, before going over to her and climbing down onto the floor next to her. He pulled her into his arms and held her close to him. Abbey could feel her husband's arms going around her. She struggled to keep her breathing even, "I just want to get off this ride, Jed..." "I know," he whispered and closed his eyes as he ran his fingers through her hair. "I know you do, sweetie. I do too." "Please make it stop Jed, please... You're the only one who can." "How? How do I stop it? Tell me how, Abbey, and I'll do it." "Remember who you are, Jed." Abbey reached up and touched his eyelids. "You're the man that was so determined to marry me that you gave up the priesthood to chase after me... even though I already had a boyfriend. Your determination and strength got us both through school Jed... and nothing ever got the best of you. You wouldn't let it. That's the man I married... and that's the man who can stop this thing." Jed reached up and pulled her finger down to his lips where he kissed the tip. Reopening his eyes he looked into her eyes, deep into them. "I can't promise you anything, Abigail, only that I will try..." "That's all I ever need, Jed." He nodded slowly and leaned forward, kissing her softly and tenderly. The End.
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