Notes: All for fun, you know how it is. Sam as usual. And Josh is in
Disclaimer: Okay, I'm just going to take them and claim them as my
own, and we'll - oh, okay. Not mine.
Spoilers: Not a one.
Early one morning, just as the sun was rising... wait, no, that's a
song. Actually it was about mid-morning, say 10:30am. Maybe 11.
Anyway, two West Wing staffers were striding down the corridor, ready
to give the President a briefing on everything they'd done since the
previous night, which was nothing much. It had been a slow week.
"I hate slow weeks," complained Josh, trying to balance a full cup of
coffee on top of three files in one hand without spilling any, so
that his other hand would be free to help him eat his morning
"I hate it when Cathy eats my doughnut," Sam sighed. Indeed, there
was a conspicuous absence of doughnut in either of his hands.
"Yeah, but that was kind of foreseeable. I mean, you left it alone
for ten minutes. But, seriously," Josh continued, "we've done nothing
since last Wednesday! Well, there was the thing with the iguana in
the briefing room..."
Sam grinned. "That was funny." He was able to say that, since he
hadn't been in the briefing room at the time.
"...but that lasted all of two minutes! Although, I bet it increased
our approval rating. People love to see us suffer." Josh scowled at
the thought of people all over America laughing at him.
"I doubt it. Oh, Leo told me to tell you to bring the CG18 file
"We wrapped that up a week ago!"
"Yeah, but the President wants to read it."
"I have to stop by my office, then."
Josh was so busy doing his balancing act with the coffee that he
failed to notice that Sam was smiling with what seemed to be
"Donna! Get me the CG18 file!"
"I'm busy, Josh, get it yourself!" snapped Donna, not looking away
from her computer.
"Ugh - what do I pay you for, anyway?" Josh asked irritably, putting
files, coffee and half-eaten doughnut on Donna's desk.
"Letting you put your sticky food on my desk? Anyway, *you* don't pay
Josh mumbled something unintelligible, shoved open his office door,
and stomped inside. There was a clang, a "sploosh!", a curse, a
pause, and then: "Donna!"
Josh stomped out again, dripping wet, to see Donna and Sam doubled
over with laughter.
"What the hell just happened?! Why did a bucket just fall on my
head?! And why do I get the sense it was planned?"
"A- April fool," Sam gasped, then fell about laughing again.
"It's not April! And this isn't funny!"
"Really? I thought it was," Donna snickered.
"Oh, I get it. This is payback for Halloween, right? Right?"
"Revenge is sweet." This from Leo, who was leaning in the doorway,
obviously enjoying himself. CJ and Toby stood next to him, wearing
"Leo! You were in on this?"
"Who else was supposed to keep you out of your office while they
rigged the bucket?"
"Oh, man, I don't believe this! I love this suit!"
"It's just water," Sam said, finally quelling his laughter enough to
stand up straight. "It'll dry."
"But for now," Leo put in, "we are expected in the Oval
"I can't go like this!"
"But you will."
"Oh... Damn," said Josh, looking forlorn. Then he picked up his files
and coffee, leaving the doughnut to fend for itself, and squelched
off to the Oval Office, bravely ignoring the stares and giggles which
followed him down the halls.
Half an hour, one dressing-down for dripping on the Oval Office
carpet, and several smart-alec remarks later, a still-damp Josh
headed back to his office, studiously ignoring Sam, who was trying to
apologize. He couldn't quite pull it off, though, because he couldn't
seem to get past: "Josh, I'm... Ha! I'm really... ha ha ha!"
"Give it up, Sam, you're not really sorry," Josh grumbled.
"No," Sam admitted, grinning, "I'm really not."
"I can't believe you did that to me."
"I told you I'd get you."
"I... I feel like... Squishy the Squelch Man!"
"Squishy the...? Look, never mind, Josh. Everyone will have totally
forgotten about this by next week."
"They will not. I'll never live this down. Especially after CJ with
her stupid Polaroid camera."
Sam glanced down at the notes held, then looked back up at Josh.
"Okay, they - ow!"
"Paper cut," Sam announced, sucking his finger.
"Hah! Serves you right," Josh informed him, adding for good measure,
"Nyah? How old are you, five?"
"How old are you, five?" Josh repeated mockingly.
"Now, that's just bad tempered."
"Oh, shut up."
"Donna! Go into my office."
"To prove to me that there is no bucket waiting to fall on me."
Donna smiled. "Aw, poor Josh. You're gonna worry about that for
weeks, aren't you?"
"Just open the damn door!"
Donna rolled her eyes and opened the door with exaggerated movements.
"Don't you have to photocopy something or staple something or...
"Actually, I am due at Nancy's desk for the noon gossip session."
"Thanks, Josh!" Donna pranced off down the corridor.
Josh watched her go for a moment, then turned to Sam, who was
smirking at him.
"What are you looking at?"
"Oh, it's none of my business."
"Why are you still here, anyway?" Josh marched into his office and
flopped down in his chair. Sam followed. "Go away?" Josh suggested.
"Okay, I'm going." Sam turned to leave, still smirking.
Josh sighed. "Wait, stop. What's none of your business?"
"Nothing," Sam said hurriedly.
"Not nothing. Come on, out with it."
"It's nothing. None of my business."
"Look, for some reason I'm feeling grumpy - oh, right, because
someone dropped a bucket of water on my head! So I'm not in the mood
for this. Let's just pretend we've already argued about this, and I
Sam hesitated briefly, then shrugged. "Well, I just noticed that
you're in love with Donna."
"You're in love with Donna," Sam repeated lightly.
"I am not!"
"Oh, yes you are."
"I am not!"
"You are sooo in love."
"I am not!!"
"Face it, Josh, you're in luuuuuuuuuuuuurv."
"I am NOT in love with Donna!"
Sam shook his head and gave his friend a sympathetic look. "I'm
sorry, but you are."
"I'm not! I am so not!" Josh leapt out of his chair for emphasis.
"Methinks thou doth protest too much."
"Oh, no, don't start that, don't go quoting that fancy stuff at me!"
"It's not fancy. It's Shakespeare. I think."
"Aren't they the same thing? Hey, don't change the subject! Why do
you think I'm in love with Donna?"
"Oh, come on, Josh, it's obvious."
"How? How is it obvious?"
"Hey, look, I'm late for a meeting. Whoops, gotta go."
"Sam! No! Come back here!"
"Sam!" Josh ran after his friend, stopping just outside his office.
"Why is it obvious?" he shouted to Sam's back.
Sam raised a hand in farewell without turning around.
"I'm not in love with Donna!" Josh yelled at the top of his voice,
attracting stares from all around, along with shaking heads and
murmurs of, "He's in denial, poor guy," and "Does he really think
"Hey, what's up?" CJ fell into step alongside Sam.
"Josh is in love with Donna," Sam informed her.
"What else is new?"
"You knew? I only figured this out ten minutes ago." Sam was rather
irritated that he hadn't been the first to know about his friend's
infatuation. Josh could at least have had the decency to make it
apparent to him before anyone else.
"Oh, come on, Sam. It's obvious."
"Well, yes. Now. But... maybe I was thrown by that whole Joey Lucas
"Not as much as Josh was."
"He's in denial, you know."
Sam's conversation with CJ distracted him enough for a devious pot
plant to sneak up on him and trip him up, sending him crashing to the
ground. CJ took three steps before she noticed that Sam was no longer
next to her, but sprawled in the corridor just behind.
"Sam! Are you okay?" CJ would have been concerned enough to kneel
next to him, but she *was* wearing a brand new outfit, and he was
moving - well, kind of - so...
"...ow..." Sam managed to roll himself over and clutched at his shin.
"Ouch, ouch. That's gonna leave a mark."
"Anything broken?" Now that it was obvious that Sam would live, CJ
was hard put to keep herself from laughing.
"No. Wipe that smile off your face, you sadist." Sam scrambled to his
feet. "Who put that plant there, anyway?"
"What, you think someone put it there on purpose so you'd trip over
it?" CJ chuckled.
Sam stared at her. "You think?"
"Yes, Sam, it's a big conspiracy. Of course not, you dolt!"
"I'm not a dolt," Sam sulked, taking a cautious step. "Ow. What
you want, anyway?"
"Oh, uh, Toby wanted to see you."
"Fine." Sam limped away, leaving CJ gazing after him and giggling to