Author: Rogue (Malia Kitechiru)

Title: Insomnia Does Strange Things

Summary: Josh thinks about what happened with the whole anniversary thing and starts talking to Donna at four AM because of insomnia. Romance will ensue, I'm sure.

Archive: Yeah, but tell me the address, I love to gloat about my work.

Disclaimer: Not mine, Aaron Sorkin's, yadda yadda.

Insomnia Does Strange Things

I'm screwed.

Okay, that may be a bit of an understatement.

I'm MAJORLY screwed.

There we go.

I'm exhausted; I'm not ashamed to admit it. When you work where I do, being tired and worn at the end of every day is nothing special. I say "God I'm tired" to one of my office mates, looking for sympathy I'll get a snort and a "Yeah so?"

So goes my life, the ever-growing complicated ways of Joshua Lyman, Deputy Chief of Staff of the United States.

Boy that's a long title, isn't it? After so many years of repeating it I guess the...awe of it has some what diminished. However, I still remember when I first got it. Wow, it felt great. Better then great, I was on top of the world.

Wow, I can be really corny when rambling to my subconscious at three AM, huh?

So why am I awake at three AM? Well I could blame it on my recent dosage of insomnia, but tonight its problem on top of problem I'm afraid.

Oh, yeah, the insomnia thing, it's been going on for a couple days. It hasn't gone unnoticed at work. My friends continually take pleasure commenting on my state.

"God Josh, what's wrong with you?"

"You have coffee this morning, Josh?"

"You're not hung over AGAIN, are you?"

"You taking drugs?"

"Is Josh Lyman alive out there?"

"Seriously, if you're doing drugs..."

"Geez Josh, you look down right cadaverous."

Okay, the cadaverous comment was definitely Sam. Sometimes he likes to flash in front of me that he has what most would say is a broad and impressive vocabulary. Ten damn points higher then me on the SAT's and the pain in the ass won't let me forget it.

Oh wait...I forgot...the screwed thing.

Well I am.

Why?

It's complicated.

Well, since it's three in the morning, and I get to work at six thirty and I just had a whole pot of coffee myself I may as well start the continuing drama of Josh Lyman: this is your LIFE!

I think the caffeine's starting to get to me, that's the only reason I could possibly be this perky. No one is this perky at this early in the morning.

I may as well just hang myself and get it over with.

Oh yeah, the screwed thing again. I keep getting off the subject here, if Donna were next to me she'd start hitting me over the head. She did that and awful lot last night. I stayed late at work again with Sam, Ainsley and Donna to work on this speech for the President that was supposed to be funny and quiet frankly wasn't. I think I may have just gotten off the subject again. Well not really, because I just very discreetly mentioned why I'm so messed up.

Donatella Moss.

Well, not really, but let's just call her the straw that broke the camel's back, okay?

Wow, Josh, two corny sayings in ten minutes, I should be proud of myself.

I guess I should go back to last night, cause that's when things mounted the most. Over the past couple of years I've been in sufficient denial about the whole Donna thing.

The fact is I've been denying there IS a Donna thing.

Well there is...so much for pretending.

I can't do it anymore, to tell you the truth. I don't want to do it that's the truth. Really don't want to. Maybe I'm sick of all this pretending. Some days I just want to grab Donna by the shoulders and plant a kiss on her that she'd never forget. Like the one in gone with the wind, where red just takes the breath out of Scarlet O Hara.

I bet you Donna would laugh if I told her I'd seen that movie. I like her laugh, always have.

Last night—I still remember the look on her face—I should have kissed her. The chance was there, but I didn't.

Oh I was kicking myself for a good twenty hours afterwards, don't' worry.

I had given her flowers. Why? Because I'm a sweet guy, that's why.

Don't laugh.

It's true.

Well, it is.

It was our anniversary. Well, not really, but I still like to think so. It's the anniversary of when Donna came to work for me.

Well...after she left Dr. free ride again.

Okay, I'll admit it, I'm jealous.

REALLY jealous.

I mean...she left ME, for HIM?

Why do I sound like it was a romantic thing? It wasn't, it's just the principal of the thing.

It only got worse after what she told me last night.

"If you were hurt I wouldn't stop to get drunk."

"If you were hurt I wouldn't stop for red lights."

Whoa boy.

The bells and whistles should have started in the back of my mind.

KISS HER DAMN IT!

Well once again I was stupid. I'd never admit it to Donna or my other friends but I'm often stupid. It happens. I hear in the back of my head what I should do, and I totally blow it off. It doesn't happen ALL the time, or I doubt I would be the Deputy Chief of Staff of the United States. But when it counts, I totally mess up.

I don't usually admit when I'm wrong either, you are witnessing a once in a life time occurrence. After this momentary caffeine rush Ego superior Josh Lyman will be back in control.

But I really was wrong yesterday. The opportunity was there. I still see her face when I close my eyes. She's very close to me, wisps of her beautiful blonde hair hanging in front of crystal eyes. When she said she wouldn't stop for red lights I swear my heart stopped.

The woman's giving me a chest pain, that's how crazy she's making me.

She may have well said "Josh I love you, marry me."

I would have, too.

See, if you had asked me about this about a week ago I'd still be in denial mode. I had recognized there was something, but still held on that nothing could happen.

That went to hell real fast.

I close my eyes and shake my head about the whole thing. What was I thinking when I sent her those damn flower? I thought it would be sweet, nice, I dunno. It was so damn out of character, what was I thinking? Honestly Lyman, what did you think? She would awe at the scent of a couple daisies and runt to your arms.

Well maybe I was hoping...

Shut up, shut up, and shut up.

I get up slowly form my lounge chair in my living room and to my kitchen table. My lap top and work things were spread out along the wooden table and I sat down in front of them with a sigh. I flip the top of my laptop and click in to AOL. As long as I'm awake and brooding over Donna I may as well have a little fun.

Besides I need to give my subconscious a break, I'm getting dizzy from the constant tug o' war about Donna going on inside my head.

I was on for maybe two seconds when the IM box on the left-hand side popped up.

Who the...

MossD: Josh?

Donna? Gee, it never fails. The one woman in the world I shouldn't be talking too knows my AOL name. Well not like it's very imaginative.

LymanJ: Donna? Hey.

MossD: What are you doing still awake?

What is she my mother?

LymanJ: I could ask you the same.

MossD: Just can't sleep, no point in it now.

LymanJ: Yeah. Hey, you want to call me? I hate AOL; I can't stand not being able to hear people's voices.

MossD: Understandable, yeah, give me a minute. Sign off and I'll call you. Kay?

LymanJ: Yeah, sure.

I sign off and hold my breath. Yeah, I'm sad and I know it. But I realize I have it really bad for this woman.

My phone is next to me luckily so I didn't have to dive too much to pick it up.

"Donna?" I ask.

"No, Josh, who else would it be at almost four in the morning?" Donna's voice answers with her usual sarcastic tone. She's smiling and I can tell.

"I get lots of calls," I grin.

"Sure, Mr. Popular, you are," Donna laughs.

"I'm the life of every party," I sigh. I hear her laugh and I smile. I like this joking around I can do with her.

"Yeah, as long as nobody spikes the punch," she grunts.

"Hey, you didn't have to call me, you know," I mutter.

"Yes I did or I'd only hear you complaining about it tomorrow in the office."

"True, very true."

"So WHY are you up this early?" she asks.

"Insomnia," I said slowly.

"Do you really Josh or were you just looking for a chance to throw a big word in my face?"
"Both."

"Ah, okay."

"And you just can't sleep?"

"No," she sighs.

"Is the ever growing turmoil of being Donna interrupting your beauty sleep?" I ask.

"Shut up."

~*End Part One*~

Part 2

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