Author: Rogue (Malia Kitechiru)

Title: Insomnia Does Strange Things prt 2/2

Summary: Josh and Donna talk at 4 AM and share a bath and banter. Sequel will follow.

Archive: take it, tell me.

Review: PLEASE!

Disclaimer: Not mine, Aaron Sorkin's, you know the drill.

Insomnia Does Strange Things Part 2

"So what are you wearing now?" I asked. I was lounging in my chair in the living room. I needed some kind of topic for conversation and this was the first thing that came to mind.

"Why?" she asked slowly.

"It's just a question Donna, and a fairly simple one," I answered. "C'mon, I thought all women liked to talk about their clothes."

"When their clothes to brag about," Donna scoffed. "But right now I'm just in a my pajamas."

"Which is..."
'My flannel pants and a white tank top, okay?" Donna said in a rush. "And you?"

"What are you wearing?"
"Umm...' I glanced down at my outfit. "Absolutely nothing."

I heard her laugh and I grinned.


"Okay, okay, boxer shorts and a Harvard tee shirt."

"How many of those things do you own?" Donna asked and I could almost picture the face she's making.

"Enough, how many do you think?"

"Well, when you were in the hospital I had the chance to go through your closet—

"You went through my closet!" I asked loudly.

"Calm down, Joshua, I didn't find anything too revealing..." she trailed off and I could sense a big 'but' coming my way. "But, I must admit your smiley face boxers are something interesting."

"You saw my smiley face boxers?" I laughed. "Congratulations Donna, not many women get that far in my life."

"That I believe."

"Hey, you really think you're qualified to lecture me on relationships?" As soon as the words escaped my mouth I regretted them.

"No," Donna sighed.

I'm such a JERK!

"So...are the cats keeping you company?" I asked, changing the subject quickly.

"Actually Celia moved out," Donna said. "She got a better job offer. Well...its' not like I knew much about her, I was at work so much."

"She took the cats?"
"Yup, they were hers."

"Can't say I'm sorry," I grunted.

"I kinda miss the little fur balls," Donna admitted.

I hate cats.

I hate all animals, except dogs. I like dogs.

"I used to have a dog," I said.

"Really? What kind?"

"A dog?"

"Joshua," she laughed.

"It was small and black, I don't know what kind it was," I shrugged. I walked into my kitchen and started hunting through my refrigerator for something to eat. "It died when I was about nine."

"I never had a pet," Donna sighed. 'My sisters were allergic."

"I didn't know you had a sisters," I said, perking.

"I introduced you too them at the inaugural ball, remember?"

'Well, no, because I was kind of working for the President," I said.

"You know you can't always use that as an excuse."

"Sure, because you know, I only work for the leader of the free world."

"Shut up," she laughed. "I work for you."

"Yes you do," I said.

Damn, why did she have to bring that up? Now once again I'm being reminded of our roles. I'm the boss; she's the assistant.

It won't ever change.

I was staring at the apple in my hand when I heard water form Donna's end of the phone.

"What are you doing?"
"I hear water," I explained.

"Oh...I to take a bath."

I dropped the apple.

It rolled under my fridge to rot and attract bugs.

I didn't care.

Donna was taking a bath!

"You are," I gulped.

'Yeah, maybe the warm water will make me drowsy."

I walked form the kitchen into my own bedroom and to my bathroom. I had a bathtub, but I really always took showers.

I can change that.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked.


"It sounds like a good idea, I think I'll try it," I explained and turned on the water in my bath.

"Wow, josh, I never imagined this."


"Phone baths, quite interesting."

"I in yet?"

"You want to know if I'm in the water or out of my clothes?"


"What ever."

"Pervert. Hey! I know pervert in Japanese!"

"May I ask why?" I scoffed and started to take off my own pajamas.

"I was bored."

"Ah yes, Donna in her ever growing pursuit for useless knowledge."

"Well, we do have that state dinner with the Prime Minister of Japan tomorrow," she said.

"Good, so you can call him a pervert."

"If I have too."

"And dissolve all of our trade agreements," I grunted. I cradled the phone against my shoulder and ear as I yanked my pants off to slide into the water. "This is relaxing." I admitted.

"Yes, do you have bubble bath?" she asked.

"No, it's not much of a guy thing to have," I said.

"Oh, please."

"Oh, please, what?"

"I hate it when guys do that."


"The 'it's not a guy thing' thing."

"Well it isn't."

"You're missing the point."

"And that is?"

"That it doesn't matter if it's a guy thing or not," she explained. "Besides, what's a guy thing and what's' a girl thing? I'm constantly seeing people who push those gender bias remarks."

"I am not being gender bias, I'm just saying I don't' have bubble bath."

"But what would you say if you met a guy who did have bubble bath?"

Uh oh, I have a sudden feeling I'm trudging into dangerous waters.

No pun intended.

Crack a joke, Lyman, try to brush it off.

"I dunno, it's not the type of thing that comes up in a normal conversation..."


"Hi Mr. President, how did the meeting about Korea go? Oh by the way, do you have bubble bath?"


"Yes, Donnatella?"

"I get the point," she snorted.

"Good, cause I dunno how much longer I could have gone on like that."

"Yeah, talking is after all such a problem for you."

Oh great, I managed to piss her off anyway.

"So, are you going?"

"To what?"

"The dinner tomorrow."

"I don't' know."

"Well...I don't have a dinner date," I suggested. "You could come with me if you want."

"I could..." she said slowly.

"Come on Donna, it's your one chance to be a guest. You wont' have to work, and you get to pick out a nice dress."

"On your credit card?"

"Of course," I sighed.


"Okay then," I grinned beside myself.

I have a dinner date (kinda) with Donnatella Moss. I feel like I'm back in high school and going to the prom.

I get to go out with Donna.

All because we both couldn't sleep.

You know what?

Insomnia's not such a bad thing.



Home        What's New        Author Listings        Title Listings