Title: Rings, Things and Feminism (1/?) (A Blaming Sam Story)
Author: Sassy Susan
Rating: PG-13
Summary: 'This is Daves fault.' Sequel to 'CJ's idiot Parade'
Feedback: Have to have it if you want another part.
Spoilers: None......I think.

Disclaimers: Shelley, Dave and Jennifer are mine. As for the rest: Don't own them, don't own them, don't own them. Do you think I would be sittinhg here if i did?

Notes:
This is the 5th installment in my 'Blaming Sam' series.
The other stories are: Norman, 20 Minutes and Knocking Out Sam's Teeth
Blaming Sam
2:31
CJ's Idiot Parade
And I suggest you read them first, otherwise you won't know what is going on.
Thanks go to my friend and beta Abby (aka Batman)
Thanks darlings, i haven't written anything in ages so let me know if i still have it.
Sassy Susan (aka Robin)
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".........and that is why you should quit that job Donna. The men in that building are all egotistical, chauvenistic pigs who want to enslave us all."

I feel that I should point out to you all that by 'us' she means the entire female population of this Earth. That was her call to have you pick up your papreweights and join her revolt against men.
This is Daves fault.
You'd probably be expecting me to say that it's Sam's fault, or Shelley's.
At a push its Sam's *and* Shelly's fault, but no, this time it's Dave who needs to stock up on gumshields and get ready to reaquaint himself with his dentist.
You remember Dave right?

Shelley's 'one-night stand' with the Roger Rabbit boxers.
Yeah, turned out to be more than a one-night stand after they ran off in the middle of the night to get married in Vegas a few weeks later.
They sent a lovely polaroid of them in the chapel with a note on the back saying, 'Donna, married Dave and helping him set up sleazy casino in Vegas. Sorry for leaving.
Love Shelley
P.S You need to get a new roomate now'

He stole her, he stole my roomate. Which meant I had to go find another, and I eventually found one. Not completely ideal, but the only candidate who didn't own a sawn-off shotgun or a snake and didn't want to turn the apartment into a brothel, hence Jennifer Seltzer, feminist extarordinaire. Except you can't actually call her a feminist, she uses the term 'Liberator of the Female Species'.
CJ would hang her head in shame if she met this woman.
Not in the good way............is there a good way to hang your head in shame?
Needs investigating.

Jenny hates Josh, I think she refers to him as 'King Pig' or 'Leader of the Pig Men' or something to that effect. Although, in fairness, I don't think he helped his case when in annoyance one night he told her to, 'Stop bitching and go scrub a floor.'
She doesn't like men in politics and thinks we should kick all men out of the Government, which is why I seriously doubt that I'll ever let her visit me at work.
We were at the supermarket the other week and when a man offered to help her pack the grocery bags she almost went for him with a bag of frozen peas
Don't get me wrong, I'm a proud member of the sisterhood and all for the Women's Movemment, but there's feminism....................and then there's Jenny.

Hey cell phone.
Doing that annoying little ringing thing which means someones trying to call.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I forget that means you have to answer it.
Just sometimes.

"Hello?"
"Hey Sweetheart."
"Hey Josh."
"I just tried to call you on your home phone."
"It's broken"
"Jenny?"
"Yep."
"What this time?"
"A salesman called and she went off at the deep end at him and ended up smashing the phone in."
"Again?"
"Again. So what did you want?"
"Donnatella, what makes you think I want something? Can't a man phone his girlfriend for no reason?"
"A man, yes. You, no."
"Actually, there was something. I have a question."
"Yes?"
"Donna........Donna........."
"Yes, my name is Donna"
"Donna........will.........y'know what? Nevermind, it doesn't matter."
"Josh, what is it?"
"Nothing."
"C'mon, tell me!"
"Nothing, I'll see you tommorow. Love you."
"Love you too."

Well, that was weird, but then I am having a relationship with Joshua Lyman.

"Was that Pig-man again?"
"Were you referring to Josh?"
"I believe so. What did the slave driving boyfriend want?"
"Nothing."

Nothing at all.
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TBC