Christmas Without You

by: AdoreLeo

Characters: Leo, Margaret
Pairing: Leo/Margaret
Category: Romance
Rating: TEEN
Disclaimer: The characters are from the NBC, WB, TV show The West Wing; they do not belong to me.
Summary: Its Christmas time at the White House and once again something is not right.
Spoiler: Anything up to and including Abu El Banat
Feedback: I would love to hear your opinion!
Author's Note:Beta By: Lynn, who went above and beyond the call... THANKS!!!!
Additional Ideas By: Katie, who always came through whenever I got stuck. THANKS!!!

Dec 25, 2003

Margaret’s Bedroom:

6:00 am

Leo wakes up early in a low-lit room. His face buried in red hair and his arms wrapped around someone. At first, he is unsure of where he is, but after one intake of breath, the sweet scent from the hair causes the memories from last night, to come flooding back. He smiles at the images that are rushing through his mind. He sighs and pulls her closer to him. He still can’t still believe he is here, in her arms and in her bed. He is with his Margaret.

Leo reflects about those first few moments they shared, after they confessed their love for one another last night. After Margaret told him that she wasn’t sick, they were holding on one another when he started to shake.

"Leo, are you ok? You’re trembling."

"I’m fine."

"You’re not fine! What’s going on?" She holds onto him even tighter.

"It’s really ok. It’s just... it’s probably just adrenaline, I guess. Leo buries his face in her soft hair and tries to slow down his breathing.

"Ok, but why?" She whispers back, her voice still full of concern.

"Um... when I got your letter, I was scared that you were quitting because of a serious health problem. So I rushed over here, I was standing outside your door and heard this loud sound from inside your apartment. I knocked and called out to you and when you didn’t answer, I ran down to your super and managed to scare him enough to get the passkey. I found you here on the floor and my first thought was that you were hurt. But mostly, it’s probably some lingering side effects from when... I passed out earlier tonight." Leo cringed at the thought of her up and coming outburst.

"What? You passed out! When? Where? Are you alright?" She rapidly fires off questions as she pulls from his arms and starts looking him over for any sign of injury.

"Margaret, I’m fine. Really. I just... sort of passed out after reading your letter of resignation. Which by the way, you are taking back. Right?" Leo looks at Margaret with his impish grin plastered over his face. He’s trying to lighten up the situation a little bit. He doesn’t want her getting upset and crying again. It hurts him so much to see her like that.

"Leo, tell me what happened!" Once Margaret gets a hold of something, she doesn’t let go until she is satisfied.

"Ok, I was, of course, in my office when I got your letter. I had been really worried and upset about you being gone from work for three days and combined with the fact that I couldn’t get a hold of you of you during that time. Also, I finally figured out, with some help from Zoey this morning, that I had to tell you I loved you." Leo stops and takes a breath and lets everything he just said sink into her worried little head. "So, when I read your letter, I guess it was just too much for me to handle and I passed out."

"Oh Leo, you could have really hurt yourself." The unshed tears in her eyes are threatening to fall.

"Margaret, stop. Nothing happened. I guess the President was coming into my office to see me and say goodnight. He saw me fall and called for Abbey. She checked me over and declared me to be ok."

Margaret raises an eyebrow at the mention of the First Lady’s name. She doesn’t know exactly what happened between the two of them, since Zoey’s kidnapping, but she was pretty sure that Abbey blamed Leo for her daughter’s kidnapping. She slightly lowers her head and starts to cry. Leo can tell by the look on her face that she fells terribly guilty. "Oh Leo, I’m so sorry I scared you."

He reaches over and gently lifts her chin up with his finger. "Margaret, I suspect that there have been enough tears shed these past few days between the two of us."

Margaret is a little surprised that at Leo’s statement but she nods in agreement and whispers. "Yeah?"

Leo smiles at her use of one of his favorite terms. He echoes back. "Yeah!" Then he pulls her into arms and presses his mouth to hers.

Margaret can’t believe how good it feels to have their mouths fused together. The intense fervor that is being exchanged, comes from years of pent up emotions and from working together so closely. She lifts a hand to the back of his head, and is enjoying the fine, soft texture of his hair. She drops her fingers to the base of his neck and lets them linger there. She then pulls his face even closer to hers and parts her lips, encouraging him to deepen the kiss. He responds by pushing his tongue deeply into her mouth. Their minds stop processing all coherent thoughts as their tongues eagerly duel with one another.

The kiss sent jolts through Leo’s body. He knows they need to come up for air soon, but he doesn’t want this exceedingly gratifying feeling to end anytime soon. Margaret moves closer to him and slightly rubs her body against him, causing him moan loudly into her mouth. He slowly pulled his lips from hers and stares intently into her eyes. He wants to see if her face is conveying the same desire that he is experiencing. One look at her face and her passion filled eyes and swollen lips and he knew that she does.

The break from their passionate kissing was adorable; it was just a brief separation where their faces lingered just inches from one another, while they repeatedly exchanged brief soft shallow kisses. It isn’t long before Margaret’s arms wrap around Leo and they begin to further explore each other's mouths. Their hands begin to wander over each other’s bodies. His hands move to her neck and shoulder, and then he moves a hand inside her shirt and traces his fingertips along her collarbone. Her skin is so soft and smooth under his touch and her lips are like velvet. He will always remember this first time that he touched her and the way her lips tasted. He pulls back and looks into her eyes for consent and then proceeds to unbutton her shirt. She starts to unbutton his too. They pressed their bodies together, wanting to feel skin against skin.

Leo’s mind comes back to the present; he smiles at this recent memory and places a delicate kiss on the back of Margaret’s neck. She sighs in her sleep at his touch and scoots over even closer to him. He holds her tight as he drifts off back to sleep, once again thinking about last night and how after several minutes of kissing and exploring each other’s bodies, she had taken him by the hand and led him to her bed where they made beautiful and fiery love together. They had lain there for several minutes afterwards, trying to catch their breath, tenderly caressing one another. The talked quietly for a short time, sharing each other’s feelings and then they wrapped themselves up in each other’s arms and drifted off into peaceful sleep.

Margaret’s Bedroom:

7:00 am

Margaret awakens and feels soft even breathing on the back her neck. She smiles at the knowledge of whom it belongs to. The man she has loved for so long, from afar, is in her bed with his arms tightly and protectively wrapped around her. Leo is in her bed. She moves her hand behind her and lightly brushes it against his hip. A small twinge of pain instantly registers in her mind. She thinks back to the cause of her pain. During the past few days, Margaret had been experiencing several brain-dead moments while she had been obsessing about leaving work and Leo behind.

On the first day that she called in sick, she needed to wash the dirty dishes from the weekend and the ones she used while making cheesecake. She loaded up her dishwasher and added soap. Only she added liquid dish soap instead of dishwasher soap. Later, when she came back into the kitchen, there were soapsuds and bubbles all over her floor.

She had managed to lock herself out of her apartment two days in a row, while she was going downstairs to get her mail. Both times her had to go to her super and have him let her back into her apartment. The most embarrassing part of that whole ordeal was the fact that both times she was only dressed in her fluffy housecoat and her Tweety Bird slippers.

She was making a baked potato in her microwave and forgot to poke holes into it. It exploded all over the inside of her microwave. Not only did she have a huge mess to clean up, the sound of it bursting had scared her half to death.

The pain from her hand came from a burn she received while cooking soup. She had put the soup on the top burner of her electric stove and promptly started daydreaming about Leo. She wasn’t paying any attention to her soup and it started to boil over. She grabbed the pan quickly, causing to spill out of the pan. Some of the hot soup splattered onto her hand. It wasn’t a severe burn, but it did blister. When the soup spilled onto the burner it started to smoke and that set off her fire alarm. She finally managed to shut off the fire alarm, but not before the super had been notified and came pounding on her door. If she didn’t watch it, he was going to evict her for causing so much trouble lately. She couldn’t afford to lose her apartment and her job in the same week.

The fire alarm incident brought back a sweet memory about Leo, when Sam and Josh had set off the smoke alarm in the White House, Margaret had been down in the basement looking through some old files. Leo had come looking for her to make sure that she got out of the White House safely.

Margaret’s mind comes back to the present. She is still lying there next to him in her bed, she once again thinks about the fire alarm episode at the White House and it makes her grin. When Leo had found her that day, he had grumbled something about not wanted to have to retrain a new assistant, but now she realizes that he had come looking for her because he loved her and he wanted to make sure she was safe. She sighs while she reflects back on their love making last night. Leo had been so strong and gentle just like she had always envisioned. One thing’s for certain though, he’s just as passionate about his lovemaking, as he is about his role as Chief of Staff. She snuggles further into to Leo arms and drifts off, back to sleep.

Margaret’s Bedroom:

8:00 am

Leo is awake and red hair once again blinds him. He gently brushes the hair off his face and hears a sigh come from Margaret. She is also awake and she rolls over to face Leo.

"Good morning." She nervously whispers as she raises her head slightly and looks at the clock. "This must be a new record for you, sleeping in until eight in the morning."

"Yeah." Leo leans in and gives her a kiss on the lips; he wants to reassure her that he is exactly where he wants to be and that he doesn’t regret what happened between them last night. "I have good reason to stay in bed this morning." Leo gives her an impish grin while running his hand up and down her arm.

Margaret clearly seems relieved by his statement. "Oh, and what is that Mr. McGarry". She smiles and places her hand on his bare chest.

"Oh, I think I can come up with something." He laughs.

"Leo! You are so bad. But I love what you have come up with."  She wraps her arms around him as she rolls on top of him as he takes her to places that she had only imagined until last night.

Margaret’s Bedroom:

9:00 am

They are once again lying in each other arms and waiting for the hearts to stop racing. They are holding on to each other so tight. It’s almost like they are afraid that it has all been a dream and if they break contact, it will all fade away. They sigh almost at the same time, which makes them laugh.

"Margaret, honey," Leo asks as he is running his fingertips through her hair.

"Yeah Baby," Margaret is has her hands resting on his bare chest. She loves playing with his sandy blonde chest hair.

"I have something to tell ya." He whispers in her ear.

"Oh, yeah?" It drives her crazy when Leo’s mouth is right next to her ear, ever so slightly breathing into it.

"Merry Christmas!"

Margaret bolts up in bed. "Oh no, I can’t believe I forgot its Christmas! I forgot to go to Midnight Mass last night. Oh no, what time it?" She looks at her alarm clock and notices the time. "I volunteered to help serve Christmas breakfast at the Monroe St. Shelter. I should have been there 2 hours ago!" Margaret starts to get out of bed.

"Margaret, calm down." Leo chortles as he is rising up to sit next to her and gently grabs her arm to keep her in bed. "It’s ok, I’m sure they have enough people at the shelter this morning. If I remember correctly, last year you told me that there were so many volunteers, that you were practically tripping over one another."

Margaret stares at him in disbelief. "You actually remember me telling you that."

"Yeah." Leo responds shyly.

Margaret can’t believe that he remembers that. She always thought that Leo never listened to a word she said. Especially when it came to things of a personal nature. The fact that he remembered this small detail from a year ago makes her wonder just how long he has been in love with her. "Leo, just how long have you been in love with me?" Margaret reaches over and takes one of his hands in hers.

Leo looks down at their joined hands and whispers. "I’ve loved you since the first time you found me hung-over in my office at the Labor Dept and took care of me." He lowers his head.

"You mean you’ve been in love with me since then, while you were still married to Jenny!" Margaret is surprised by his answer.

Leo looks up at Margaret and smiles. "No, I said I’ve loved you since then. The falling in love part happened almost three years ago."

"Really?"

"Yeah"

Margaret is shocked to find out that he has been in love with her for almost three years. That’s almost as long as she has been in love with him. She squeezes his hand and pushes him further for an answer. "When did you realize?"

Leo looks at Margaret and reaches out and cups her face with his hand. "The day received my divorce papers."

"Really?" Margaret smiles at the memory of that day. She had been running around all day mentioning the fact, to most of the staff who didn’t make the trip to Portland trip, that the divorce papers came that day and that she was afraid that he was going to drink.

"Yeah."  Leo smiles at the memory of Margaret barging into his office that morning and saying ‘Can I just say that, all I meant before was that, if I was married and got divorced and my divorce papers came and I was an alcoholic, I would want to be...

"Oh."  Margaret smile grows wider.

"Yeah. Um... Do you remember that evening when I told you were a good girl?"

"Yes." Margaret nods her head. That term always meant so much to her whenever Leo used it towards her.

"I really wanted to tell you how much you meant to me and ... but I couldn’t. I was scared." Leo looks away from her. He’s still leery to open up to her. He’s still afraid of getting hurt again.

Margaret realizes just how much this has cost Leo to be so open and honest with her. She reaches out with her fingertips and pulls his face back until he is looking directly into her eyes. "Leo, you need never be afraid to tell me anything, you know that I will always be by your side through everything from now on. I could never turn away from you, especially now, you truly are my destiny."

Leo looks at Margaret, the morning light from her bedroom window hits her red hair and appears to create a halo as she looks back and smiles at him and only him. He realizes that she would never hurt him on purpose and that she truly is his destiny also. "Margaret, words just don’t seem enough to tell you how I feel right now. Will you marry me? I love you."

"What?" Margaret jumps up off the bed.

"I said, words aren’t enough..." Leo looks up at her standing next to him.

She interrupts him. "No, after that."

"I said I loved you." Leo is really enjoying messing with her.

"No, before that."

Leo stands up and takes her in his arms. "Oh that. I said, Margaret would you do me the great honor in marrying me?"

Now its Margaret’s turn to have some fun at Leo’s expense. "Yeah, that’s what I thought you said. Do you want to hear a joke?"

"NO!"

"Ok."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Oh, Merciful God."

"Yes Leo, yes I’ll marry you!" Margaret presses her lips against Leo’s and savors the moment. She pulls away after a few seconds and tells him. "Oh, and Leo. Merry Christmas to you too."

They stand there for a while with their arms wrapped around one another. Just living in the moment. It is a moment that neither one of them ever thought would happen. After a few minutes, Leo pulls away from Margaret and gives her a look.

"So Margaret, are you hungry?"

"Yeah, I just remembered I never had dinner last night. And I bet you didn’t either." Margaret walks over to her bedroom chair and grabs her housecoat and heads for the bathroom. She can’t believe that Leo asked her if she was hungry. But then she smiles at what might be the reason behind his hunger.

"No, you’re right. But that’s all your fault." Leo says with a huge grin on his face. He’s getting married. Margaret said yes. He can’t believe how hungry he is. He must have burned a lot of calories these past few hours.

Margaret comes back into the bedroom. "I think I have some eggs, or I could make you some pancakes?"

"Either is fine with me. Do you have any tomato juice?" Leo says as he pulls on his boxers and heads for the bathroom.

She smiles when he requests his favorite breakfast drink. "I think I have a can of it somewhere, but I’m not sure if the date is good." She says to his back. She doesn’t even like tomato juice but for some reason she buys it every so often. Half the time she doesn’t even realize that she has bought it until she is at home putting away her groceries. Somewhere in the back in her mind, she must have hoped she would have reason to have some on hand someday.

Margaret is standing with her back to the door making coffee when he joins her in the kitchen. He walks over to her and wraps his arms around her. She turns in his arms and lays her head on his shoulder.

"Oh Leo, you don’t know how long I’ve dreamed about this moment happening. I still can’t believe it." She sighs.

"Hey, I’ve got a question for you."

"Ok."

"When did you realize, that you loved me?" Leo says with a lopsided grin on his face.

Margaret gets kind of a sad look on her face. Most of her memories from that day are bad.

Leo gets worried. "Margaret what’s wrong?"

"Nothing, it’s just... it was probably one of the worst days of your life. It was the night of the Town Hall Meeting in Roslyn."

"Yeah." Leo realizes what she means.

"Leo, I was so scared that night, all I could picture in my mind, was you lying there in a pool of blood." Margaret starts to cry at the thought of this memory.

Leo’s own mind races back to that horrible night. That was the night that he almost lost two of the most important people in his life, his best friend and the man that he loved like a son. Leo shakes away those images from his mind. "Honey, it’s ok. Shh... Let’s not have any more tears. Come here."  But Leo is unable to follow his own advice; soon tears are flowing freely down his face too. He pulls her into a tight hug and they stand there slightly swaying in the middle of her kitchen, allowing each of them to comfort the other the way they couldn’t three years ago.  That night should have taught them how fragile life is and not to waste a moment of it but now three years later that lesson has been learned and they will be there for each other from now on.

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12

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