Up Against The Wall

by: Brandy
Character(s): Josh, Donna
Pairing(s): Josh/Donna
Category(s): Post-Episode/Romance
Rating: TEEN
Disclaimer: Not mine. I'm just running with the story and filling in the blanks for the summer. This officially lives in Speculationville.
Summary/Spoiler: Small spoilers for '25', otherwise, wild speculation.
Author's Note: This one goes out to Sharon, who very nicely demanded it- :) and for everyone else who said, "No!!! You can't leave it there!!!"

The following quotes apply to this story in one way or another in various places, for various reasons, and were and have been insiprational to me. I ll let you guys figure out where and why.

Josh's POV~

The morning after Zoey was rescued, President Bartlet signed the letter that legally restored him as Commander-in-Chief. After a private breakfast meeting with former Speaker Glenn Walken, President Bartlet requested the senior staff to join him in the Oval Office.

I remember walking into that meeting with the same kind of energy and excitement that I had during my first meeting in the Oval, four and a half years earlier. My mood was slightly tempered though when I saw the changes the last few days had wrought on the President .

There was a weariness to him that I had never seen before - even in those awful, dark days following Mrs.Landingham's funeral and the public MS disclosure. I understood that he and Abbey had just lived through one of the worst things a parent could, but it was over now. She was home- safe and sound. Shaken and bruised, yes- but alive and well. It was time for celebration... wasn't it?

It was only later, after the meeting was over, and I was talking to Toby, that I fully understood.

Regardless of my personal impressions of the President, the meeting went very well. President Bartlet thanked us all for the loyalty and support we had given to him and the decision he had made in the midst of the crisis. He applauded us all on our unflagging professionalism and tireless efforts to keep everything running smoothly in his abscence. Then, after recieving a short briefing on what was on the day's agenda, and making some comments and suggestions, he ended the meeting.

Leo stayed with him, as I knew he would, but part of me wished I could talk to him. Leo, that is- and ask him why the President still looked as though the weight of the world was on his shoulders. He was, of course, the President, and that was a very real and heavy burden- but he had always carried that burden with grace and ease... as though it were a natural thing Now, it appeared to be a far heavier load.

I wandered the halls a bit after the meeting broke up, and eventually found myself at Toby's door. He had one eye on CJ's morning briefing and the other eye on some remarks he was sketching out for a national address the President would be giving Friday night.

"Hey," I said, walking into his office and taking a seat on his couch.

"You need something?" he asked, looking up briefly from what he was writing It was quite obvious in his tone that he didn't appreciate the interruption

"Uh...yeah... no. I'm not sure."

"Josh, I'm trying to work here. How about you go somewhere... you know- else, and decide," he grumbled, returning his attention to the legal pad in front of him.

I ignored his suggestion and continued to sit there while I figured out the best way to articulate the thoughts I had been having.

"How did he seem to you?" I finally asked.

"Who?" he asked distractedly.

"The President," I responded, a degree of impatience slipping into my voice

In response, Toby heaved a pained sigh, and tossing the legal pad and pen on his desk, gave me a look that was a completely Toby-like combination of confusion, annoyance and concern.

"What about him?"

"Didn't he seem a little... I don't know- off?"

"Off?" Toby repeated, giving me a pointed look.

"Yeah... I expected... I don't know. I expected him to be different. I... he looks like he's still in the middle of all this stuff with Zoey- not that it's over and she's safe and sound. It just... I don't know- threw me a little."

Toby sat back in his chair, not saying anything for the longest time, then he sat forward and looking intently at me, he asked me something I didn't expect him to.

"If it had been Donna that had been taken - supposedly as a way to get to you, to force you to do something, and she had eventually been found safe- how would you feel?"

Although the question was totally unexpected, I didn't need even a split second to consider my answer.

"Devastated that she had been subjected to that, elated that she was safe, and ...riddled with guilt that it had happened at all," I replied, getting a glimpse of the terror that the President must have experienced as I considered Donna in that position. The funny thing is- stuff like that had trotted across my mind before. For example, one of the things I can be truly thankful for about the whole Rosslyn episode was that Donna wasn't there. I also thought about it the night I was interviewing Joe. All those ridiculous letters... the ones I do my level best to brush off as the wandering babbles of the nutty, but esssentailly harmless, multitudes. That letter that Donna got wasn't quite so easy to dismiss though. Mostly because it was so... creepy. Targeting Donna for no other reason than she works closely with me, and the President. The idea of some nameless crazy etching her name into bullets that he intended on firing into her body gave me chills. It still does. Feeling that involuntary shudder run through my body again, I caught Toby watching me carefully. In that instant, he knew I understood.

"It's feelings like that made me come rushing back here that night. I was with Huck and Molly- just looking at them, and I saw those clips of the President and Zoey they were running. For an instant, I could see myself as the father in those clips, playing with my child, feeling what he felt for his child. Just like that, I was in his shoes- experiencing what he did when they told him about Zoey. At that moment, you're nothing more than a terrified father- there's no room for anything else."

"Yeah, " I agreed, then I asked Toby one more question. "You got it because you identified with him as a father- right?"

"Yeah."

"But when you were trying to get me to understand, you put Donna in that situation- why?"

Giving me a rather pointed look, he said, "You don't have kids..... yet."

That's it.That's all he said. Out loud, that is. The look in his eyes was saying a lot more, and I knew that he knew a lot more about Donna and me than he had ever commented on.

"Okay. Well, I'm gonna..."

"Let me get back to work, and go somewhere else to play?" he finished with a smirk.

"Yeah." I replied with an answering grin and left.

~~~~

"Where have you been?" Donna asked as I breezed past her desk on the way to my office.

"Surveying my domain."

"You don't say, Charlemagne? Well- you're late for your meeting with Congressman Skinner, and it's not my fault."

"Did I say it was?"

"No- but you were going to, and I was merely heading you off at the pass."

"That was quite unneccesary of you, Donnatella. I assure you I had no intention of blaming you for anything."

"Whatever you say," she muttered, not bothering to hide the blatant sarcasm in her voice.

"What does the rest of the day look like?" I asked.

"Not too bad. We may actually be able to get out of here before nine," she replied, flipping through my schedule.

"Really? That's practically like a holiday around here. I won't know what to do with myself."

"Yeah- I was thinking of doing something wild and frivolous - like eating a real meal and going to bed."

"Now that sounds promising..." I said, waggling my eyebrows at her in a playfully suggestive way.

"Is that your unique way of inviting me to dinner?"

"Take-out and a movie at my place?" I offered.

"You're on.I pick the movie."

"Don't you always?" I asked, with a grin, already knowing the answer.

"Well, it's been a while. Maybe I forgot," she replied, looking a little uncomfortable for a moment.

"Then it's time to fix that," I replied, touching her shoulder briefly. She met my eyes then, and I saw the happy smile in them.

"That would be nice."

"And after the movie, we have that talk."

"Okay," she replied, her voice suddenly a little breathless.

"Okay... good."

"Congressman Skinner's waiting," she reminded me with a little nod in the direction of my office.

"Okay. Well... then I'm going to go talk to him," I said and with one last look, I walked into my office, wondering how in the world I was going to keep my mind on what I was meeting with Matt about. Especially since I couldn't seem to get my mind off a far more important conversation I would be having later that night.

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

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