Odyssey of Minds, pt 2: Donna POV

by: Ellen
Pairing(s): Josh/Donna
Category(s): Humour/Fluff/ Angst
Rating: YTEEN
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Aaron Sorkin, et al
Summary: Josh and Donna's thoughts after each season 6-episode.
Spoiler: Faith-based Initiative
Written: 1/11/05

So, here I am ... still sitting at the desk in my brand new office in the 'Russell for President'-headquarters in New Hampshire. And am I doing any work? You would think so, since I am sitting here. Normally, sitting at a desk implies 'actually working at the desk', which is what I should be doing. But, no, I'm not doing anything. Why? Well, because exactly 4 minutes and 43 seconds ago, a congressman from Texas announced, on national television, that he is running for President. And as the camera panned out on the bystanders, who was standing there like he owned the world, with a cocky grin firmly in place? The only man that can make me lose control like this. Exactly ... Josh Lyman.

Oh, there is no doubt in my mind that it was Josh who convinced Santos to go for the Presidency. I am, however, intrigued by how he got him to run? And when? And then there's the most pressing question of them all: 'Why didn't he call me?'! He made this huge life-altering decision and he didn't call me? How dare he do this to me? Well, and to the President too, of course. But, most of all, to me. All the effort and the hard work I had put in making a stand and leaving with my head held up, just to show him that I wasn't to be pushed around anymore. To let him feel what it's like without me around. He was supposed to fall to shambles and feel terribly guilty and heartbroken because I wasn't there anymore. He wasn't supposed to see it as sign that it was time for him to move on as well! All of it is ruined now.

He's moving on and he didn't tell me. What? He couldn't have just picked up the phone and dialled my number? Okay, granted, I didn't tell him that I was going to New Hampshire either ... but still ... I had a genuine reason to leave. He was holding me back and I was tired of being his girl Friday when I wanted to be so much more to him. And even though I swore to myself to forget about Josh Lyman, there was always this small part of me that kept hoping that he'd come to his senses and admit to me that he'd missed me and that he wanted me in his life again. Now, that chance just flew out the door, straight to Matt Santos' Presidential campaign. We're in two separate camps now. Josh has just become the enemy. Besides, he won't have time for me. All of his devotion will be focused on 'the real thing' in the political and not the personal sense.

So, yeah, I'm sitting here at my desk, contemplating where my plan failed me and I suddenly realise something. This was always how it was supposed to end, I just never wanted to see it. There was never a future for 'us' ... that was just a silly dream from a college drop-out. I should be happy that I've detached myself from someone who was deliberately holding me back and kept giving me under-qualified work. Right? If so, then tell me, why is it that I feel so small right now? I keep asking myself if I can honestly do this? Can I do this job without Josh? What if they find out I'm just a fake and they fire me? Where do I go? All these questions and no answers.

I have to stop this line of thinking. I can't do this to myself. The times when I got myself into trouble, only to run straight to 'Josh the Saviour', is over. From now on, I have to learn to function as an individual and start thinking for myself. No more Josh telling me that it's going to be all right. So, he has moved on. So, what? Good for him, he didn't get the respect that he deserved at the White House and I hope he finds happiness and appreciation on the path he's chosen now. I've picked another path, however, one leading towards the other direction. And this is the day and the time to start showing him -and the world- I can function perfectly without him.

Today, the new career-woman that I've become has to come to terms with the fact that 'the man she loves' has just become 'the man to beat' and that he might never be hers, but there is still one thing she can do. She can show him exactly what she's worth by wiping that cocky smirk of his face and beating his egotistical butt in the next election for President of the United States of America. So, that is exactly what she is going to do.

Donna's POV: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 Josh's POV: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

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