Bouncing Back

by: Rhonda and Evelyn

Character(s): The Women of the West Wing
Pairing(s): Josh/Donna, CJ/Danny, Toby/Andi, Zoey/Charlie, Will/Ainsley
Category(s): Humor, Romance, Post Ep
Rating: TEEN
Disclaimer: They're not ours and never will be.
Summary: Post-episode story for Inauguration: Over There
Spoiler: Red Haven's On Fire
Feedback: Greatly Appreciated
Authors Note: This is a sequel to Bouncing Inaugural Balls. Thanks so much for all the wonderful feedback. We had such a good time with these characters that we couldn't resist bringing them back for a little more fun. Enjoy!

"Get in."

"I can't."

"Sure you can, open the damn door and..."

"There's a... a hairy horse in the front seat."

"A horse, of course. What else can go wrong?"

"Actually I might need to use the ladies room before..."

"Hey, Whiskey is a purebred Irish wolfhound and more royal than that Frog Prince what's her name is dating."

"Get in, Miss North Carolina, or I'm gonna kick your grits."

"It's not kick - it's kiss and I can't. I'm allergic to dogs. You sit in the front seat."

"Are you crazy? There's four inches of leg room and I'm six feet tall, you do the math."

"Actually I'm very good with math. I don't know why it's always assumed that girls can't do math. In my experience..."

"Hey, it's getting later as we speak. Josh is gonna have a stroke if I don't show up with those budget numbers he wanted."

"This is not supposed to be a working weekend. When I kill the father of my children for abandoning me, I'll take care of your boss too, if you want."

"Nah, he promised me ski lessons if I helped him with this report."

"Ainsley, will you please get in the car?"

"How about one of the other ladies sitting in the front if you require more leg room. Maybe Donna? Or Congresswoman Wyatt?"

"You can call me Andi and I really should go back in for..."

"Donna is just two inches shorter than me, and Andi is... she's...well, let's just charitably say that she's bigger than a house and won't fit."

"That's your idea of charity?"

"Sorry, do you prefer being called a walking minivan? A grounded Goodyear blimp with a constant fuel leak?"

"I'm ignoring you since you have to put up with my ex-husband 80 hours a week."

"80! More like..."

"It would be easier to figure out how many hours we spend away from here. Like I said, I'm good with math."

"Ainsley, get in."

"But I can't sit in the front seat. I'll get hives, and start to scratch, and maybe a little nauseous - in fact, I don't think that taco salad I had as a mid-morning snack is sitting so good right now. The sour cream must have turned."

"OK, that's it. Cinderella, Momma, and Stretch get in the backseat. Pipsqueak, hand over those fries to Whiskey, and park your butt on the long legs of the mouthy one. You want to make Camp David before the end of the week, we gotta move it. Traffic on the Beltway is a killer and Whiskey likes to watch Judge Wapner's Animal Court so we have to be home by 9."

***

"What the hell is that noise?"

"It's my cell phone."

"Your cell phone? It sounds like..."

"It plays 'Delta Dawn'. My momma used to sing that to me every night."

"Well turn it off, it's upsetting the hound."

"Hey, my dog's not upset. She's singing along, but for crying out loud could somebody grab that other phone."

"I'm trying. I... just have to, oh excuse me Congresswoman Wyatt, but could you just lift up your belly full of beautiful babies so I can slip my hand down to my bag on the floor?"

"This belly's going nowhere... and that's my phone, but it's Toby and I'm not talking to him. CJ, what the hell is vibrating against my leg?"

"It's my cell phone and I can't reach it in my pocket because I've got Ainsley diving off my knees - get off my foot, will ya? How do you know it's Toby...and Mr. Cab Driver? Could you please shut that dog up?"

"Whiskey loves country music. He especially likes Faith Hill. You should him hear sing 'This Kiss'."

"CJ is a very good singer. You should hear her rendition of 'The Jackel'."

"Andi - the phone?"

"I don't know that song. Can she hum a few bars? Maybe Whiskey will sing along."

"I'm not answering it. It's Toby."

"I repeat - How do you know? And I'm not singing any duet with a dog."

"Because I can tell his dumb ring and I'm not talking to an idiot who would leave his pregnant ex-wife behind - even if maybe I told him to stop interfering in my life and that I would make my own travel plans. He said I should stay home and read my Lamaze books anyway. I told him to go to hell."

"Andi, at least turn it off. It's driving the dog nuts."

"Nuts. Peanuts would be good. I probably have some in my bag."

"Toby's done a good job of driving me nuts ever since he found out about the babies. I told him to go to hell..."

"You said that already."

"Anyway, I told him to go to hell and then Toby said spending a weekend in a cabin with Josh was pretty close to it. I said I wouldn't want to come between him and Josh having a bonding experience. He said damn. I told him if he was going to cuss in front of the babies he could just leave."

"And?"

"When you cuss aren't you..."

"And Toby left. Walked right out of his office and left me sitting there on his couch, just like a potato about to sprout."

"But you told him..."

"Hell, he's supposed to know that my hormones are in overdrive and I didn't mean it."

"Are the babies asleep or something? Cause you just keep on saying... Hey, I've almost got my phone...almost... almost... nope that's my Nestle's Crunch Bar - but I think it's gone to voice mail, now whose phone is still ringing?"

"Mine. Hello - Josh, it serves you right. You left without us. Excuse me, buster, but I'm going to mention just one word and leave it at that. Ensorcelled. Uh huh, you got us into this mess. No, I don't want to hear your excuses about temporary insanity. Well, that's very nice of you to mention. Yes, I'm wearing - well, if you're lucky, maybe later you'll find out."

"Ask him if Toby is calling my cell phone because it's still vibrating and I still can't reach it. If it keeps up Andi is either going to be very happy or go into labor early. Ainsley, if you don't sit up straight, I'm taking all your candy bars and giving them to Whiskey."

"She can't eat chocolate. Dogs are allergic to it, but she'd love that cinnamon Danish I noticed peeking out of that tote bag. Maybe you could tear it in half and give Whiskey some, and the rest to me cause I haven't had lunch yet."

"Josh, I know you are being assaulted by the incessant high-pitched drone of her voice, but I really don't think it affects male fertility. No, I don't think she ever shuts up. Yes, I'd probably testify on your behalf if you shoved her out the car door. But you'd have to explain it to the First Lady. Andi, Toby wants to talk to you."

"Tell him to take his sorry-assed excuses and shove them up..."

"Ass is definitely a curse word. If you're worried about your babies hearing ..."

"Ainsley, shut up a minute. And excuse me CJ, but he wanted to talk to me. Donna, tell Toby to take his sorry-assed excuses and shove them up..."

"Josh says that Toby said he's not calling to apologize."

"Why the hell not?"

"Josh says... Uh, Hi, Toby. What's that sound? Did you hurt Josh? Okay. Just don't leave marks. Andi, Toby says he will apologize at a future time and in a manner to be determined by you, but what he really needs is... Hello? Hello? Josh? Where did Toby... Absolutely not, Josh. You tell him, no way in hell - there's no room what with Whiskey and all - no we're not drinking, it's Mac's dog - ok, ok, tell him to be waiting at the curb. We're slowing down to 40 mph and he's got to hop in. He'll have to hold Whiskey on his lap. Stop whining. Maybe you'll get lucky and she'll wander onto the firing range at Camp David. Hey, Mac, you gotta turn this cab around. We've got to go back and pick up Will Bailey. They forgot him too."

"Ooooh, do you think he has any Rice Krispies treats with him? I wouldn't mind sitting on his lap."

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9a | 9b

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